Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation...the other eight are unimportant.

   --Henry Miller

December 24, 2005

Picasso peace dove

from Clean Sheets

The Short Sheets blog rests for the season -- we all wish you and yours the happiest of holidays, and a peaceful and wonderfully erotic coming new year. We will return after the first of 2006!

December 12, 2005

Gifts from Sounds Erotic

Here's another great holiday gift idea -- stop over at Sounds Erotic and download or buy CDs full of sexy erotica! Sounds Erotic is about to become the "official audio sponsor of Clean Sheets," so there will be much more about them coming up on our site!

December 6, 2005

Gifts from Babeland

"Imagine the sparkle in your sweetie's eyes when you gift her with Babeland's G-Spot Jingle set! Specifically designed with a Nubby G vibrator, perfectly angled to hit her G-spot. But that's not all. There's also the elegant, curved. transparent Lumina Wand. Not sure how to use them or to find that magic Geeeee! spot? No problem. You can explore all the possibilities for G-spot joy, with the enclosed book on the topic, The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-Spot. Unlike many toys, batteries are included, along with a 4 oz bottle of Babeland lube, and a condom. Jingle all the way to her G-spot and hear her murmur, 'Oh, baby! You really do care!'....."

Read the rest of these sexy gift ideas right here in Clean Sheets!

December 1, 2005

Seasons of Hope: on World AIDS Day 2005

"They say that I have the best ass below 14th it true?" Rosario Dawson's character, Mimi, asks of upstairs neighbor Roger, while melting the screen with her sexuality near the beginning of the new movie musical Rent. She prowls and sings and dances and you can't take your eyes off of her. "I'm just born to be bad" she tells Roger, himself an ex-junkie, who responds to her (in song, of course), "I once was born to be bad."......

Read the rest here.

November 28, 2005

Sex & Laughter

in Clean Sheets

"The past is not always prologue. You wonder who said that. You could look it up, except that you're sitting on the big brass bed in your loft with your hands tied together in front of you with your own tie. She said this was to help you focus, and you vaguely recall saying okay. But the past -- it's gone. You're going to be a new man now, the focused and soulful kind, the kind who dances in the middle of the day. People can change. This is your new belief -- new beliefs are easier to come by when you can't move your hands and a beautiful woman named after a cracker is starting to strip in front of you. She doesn't exactly dance like a stripper, though your loft does have a nice pole you hope she might wrap her legs around soon..."

...Read the rest of the excerpt from Susannah Indigo's story, "Stuck Inside the Uh-Ohs With the Red State Blues Again."

November 23, 2005

something to be thankful for!

It is the nasal spray to end all nasal sprays, a new and apparently hugely effective brain-stroking libido-licking sex-drive-boosting drug called PT-141 which, if approved and if even half as effective as some of the amazing human trials indicate, will revolutionize sex in a way Viagra could only wet dream, and which Ecstasy can only knowingly wink at, and which cocaine and cocktails and overpriced sports cars will only deeply envy forevermore...

Read the rest at SF Gate.

November 15, 2005

Xana and Dax: When Opposites Attract

in Clean Sheets

"Watching another couple basically do what we do has a lot of redeeming social value. Yes, there's an education in the subtle differences we encounter. Novelties like Xana's tattoo and Dax's uncut cock, pretty rare in America. Nuances like the leather wrist bands Dax wears to bed, and the way they dip their massage oil out of a dessert glass -- way more aesthetically appealing than that grotty old plastic squeeze bottle. Techniques like how Xana fingers Dax's anus and grasps his balls while he strokes himself. There are plenty of places where partners watching this might say to each other, 'That looks like fun; can we try that?'..."

Read the rest of this fascinating dual X-movie review by Gary Meyer and Shanna Germain, in Clean Sheets this week.

November 4, 2005

from Dan Savage's column

STRAIGHT RIGHTS UPDATE: There were two disturbing developments in the battle over straight rights last week. First, we know that Target fills its ads with dancing, multi-culti hipsters giving off a tolerant, urbanist vibe and runs hipster-heavy ad campaigns positioning Target as a slightly more expensive, more progressive alternative to Wal-Mart. Well, as John Aravosis revealed on last week, Target's politics are as red as their bulls-eye logo. The chain allows its pharmacists to refuse to dispense birth control and emergency contraception to female customers if the pharmacist objects on religious grounds. What's worse, the company claims that any of its employees have a right to discriminate against any of its customers provided the discrimination is motivated by an employee's religious beliefs. Read all about it at America Blog and Planned Parenthood.

Second, more troubling news from Tucson, Arizona, where a 20-year-old rape victim called dozens of pharmacies in town before she found one that stocked emergency contraception (EC). "When she finally did find a pharmacy with it, she said she was told the pharmacist on duty would not dispense it because of religious and moral objections," reported the Arizona Daily Star. Emergency contraception, the story continued, "prevents pregnancy by stopping ovulation, fertilization, or implantation of a fertilized egg. The sooner the emergency contraception is taken after intercourse, the more effective it is."

Don't just sit there, heteros. Defend your rights! Don't shop at Target, and write 'em and tell them why you're going elsewhere. As for Fry's Pharmacy in Tucson, the shop that wouldn't dispense EC to a freakin' rape victim, the fundamentalist pharmacist claims its her "right" not to do her fucking job. Well, you have a right to free speech. Call Fry's at 520-323-2695 and ask them why the fuck a pharmacy that won't dispense EC keeps the drug in stock. Do they do it just to torment rape victims? ("Oh yeah, we've got EC—but you can't have any. Don't you know that Jesus wants you to bear your rapist's child?") Rise up, straight people, and demand your rights!

November 2, 2005

Fun City

Tom Monaghan, founder of Domino's Pizza, has a $100 million plan to build a city in southwest Florida for conservative Catholics. Monaghan hopes to relocate his Ave Maria University, which has campuses in Michigan and Florida, to a 5,000 acre field near Naples. He and a building partner will surround the school with homes and businesses starting in 2007. "We're going to control all the commercial real estate, so there's not going to be any pornography sold in Ave Maria," he said during a presentation at a Boston high school. "We're controlling the cable system. The pharmacies are not going to be able to sell condoms or dispense contraceptives. So it'll be a unique town." The city will also have a Catholic church at its city center and a private chapel within walking distance of each home.

-- from Playboy

October 27, 2005

not for the squeamish

Just in time for Halloween -- Iguana-Art features photos of beautiful models with snakes and frogs and spiders and more running over breasts and thighs - oh my!

October 18, 2005

October 7, 2005

in Clean Sheets

...When I come out, she has removed her sweater and shoes, in spite of the chill winter afternoon. She is wearing a man's blue tank top, which barely conceals her full, upright breasts.

I hand her the book and she examines its jacket then turns it over, clicking her tongue as she reads the jacket blurb. I sip at my wine in short, nervous bursts.

In one languid movement she tosses the book onto a chair, comes to me, takes my wineglass, places it on the floor. I open my mouth to protest and she slides her tongue in, gingerly teasing at my own. She runs her hand underneath my sweater, up my back, to my bra strap and flicks it undone. She traces her fingers over my breasts, the tips dancing around my nipples which pucker at her touch. She then traces a line down, down to my navel.

I shiver. It is like being unzipped. Gently at first, as though I am a present she wants to delay opening, then deeply insistent, she touches and probes as her lust takes hold.

"I'm going to fuck you," she whispers in my ear.

Something turns over in the pit of my stomach. I join her on a ribbon of lust that ruptures now like spilt wine, or blood. With one slip of the pen, no becomes now.

Once, when I was seven, being the assistant in my cousin's magic show, he announced to the dusty attic of my uncle's house that he would "now run me through with six daggers," and tied me to an old chest, I'd been scared and thrilled and confused. The daggers never materialized but his tinkler did and I was a captive audience as he played with his wrinkled pink nodule of flesh an inch from my face...

Read the rest of Susan Weaver's smart, sexy story, "Soft Spot," here.

October 3, 2005

in Clean Sheets

Michael Berkowitz has photographed women in an Erotic Flashback, exuding the glow and alluring sensuality of temptresses inviting lovers to bed. Berkowitz places his subjects in lavish, textured sets, evocative of Baroque French postcards, draping them in lush fabrics and opulent accessories, collected from his travels all over the world.

September 29, 2005

San Francisco

Timothy Archibald brings us the new Sex Machine Blog, a mix of crazy photos and information. He is currently preparing for the exhibition "Sex Machines: Photographs and Interviews," which will open at The Museum of Sex in New York City on November 10th. His book, Sex Machines: Photographs and Interviews provides "astonishing images, and the surprisingly touching words of its subjects, while exploring the new sex machine underground in America and the homespun inventors and users who propel it. After contacting an active but intensely private Internet community of sex machine inventors, photographer Timothy Archibald eventually won their trust and was invited into workshops and homes. The resulting book is a powerful document that is by turns thought provoking, humorous, and always fascinating."

September 22, 2005

on the Web

It's dirtier than Hustler, more violent than The Sopranos .... it's pretty impressive for an illustrated Bible made entirely of Legos. Brendan Powell Smith has spent the past four years staging and photographing particularly intense biblical scenes in the living room of his home. The thirty-two-year-old son of an Episcopalian Sunday-school teacher is an avowed atheist, but he insists his project is meant to explore the Scriptures, not mock them. "My version of Noah's Ark focuses a little more on the people who didn't make it onto the boat."

See more at The Brick Testament.

September 19, 2005

Fat Women, Body Image, and Sexual Politics in the BDSM Scene

...The thing about body issues is that everyone has them: women and men, thin and fat, you and me. After all, if I never had any body issues, the world would not need me to be an activist for size acceptance. If you want to get over self-criticism, here are some things you can try. Start by communicating with your body, using affirmations to find the beautiful parts about yourself, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Listen to what your body has to say, and respect your own path. This is the foundation of self-love. If you love yourself, loving your body will follow.

On the practical side, go to some play parties or other public situations where you will be able to observe people of all sizes and shapes enjoying themselves. Replace any critical thoughts in your head with positive ones about the beauty of their bodies, whether it be good skin, soft curves, great butt to spank, strong muscles, or wonderful handfuls of breasts. Talk to your friends about what beautiful thing you saw in this larger person. If it's not a physical attribute, notice their courage for playing in public, their love of their own body, or their unself-consciousness. For the female Dominant, size can be an advantage, projecting a powerful physical presence which attracts Submissives. If you have this advantage, use it...

Read the rest in Clean Sheets this week

September 15, 2005

Bill Maher

I've always thought Bill Maher was hot. Except when he gets a little wishy-washy right-down-the-middle can't-take-sides with his various political guests. But is there anything sexier than a hot guy who actually stands up and says what's true, with a touch of humor?

a rant from Bill Maher's recent show:

Mr. President, this job can't be fun for you any more. There's no more money to spend--you used up all of that. You can't start another war because you used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. Listen to your Mom. The cupboard's bare, the credit cards maxed out. No one's speaking to you. Mission accomplished.

Now it's time to do what you've always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service and the oil company and the baseball team. It's time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or space man? Now I know what you're saying: there's so many other things that you as President could involve yourself in. Please don't. I know, I know. There's a lot left to do. There's a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church. And Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote.

But, Sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you haven't given yourself a medal. You're a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire city to rising water and snakes.

On your watch, we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon and the City of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying you don't love this country. I'm just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side.

So, yes, God does speak to you. What he is saying is: 'Take a hint.'

September 12, 2005

Well, it is almost the Halloween season... but the couple who run Nudes Masked have been curious about faces, masks, and self-portraits since 1959. Forty years later they began this photographic dialogue exploring metacyber public nudity, the mask as a self portrait, power of modesty, looking, being seen, and the erotic gaze. Taking advantage of the Internet as a medium for collaboration and participation by people all over the world, they invite you to join them in this photographic dialogue.

September 5, 2005

reprinted from the suspect thoughts newsletter:


--Martin Pousson

When we return to the Café du Monde,
we’ll find no one speaks English anymore--

a language too heavy
for a sinking city. When we return
to eat beignets after dark, speaking
Old French, the table will be overcast
with clouds of powdered sugar. Beads of mist will spray
from the river, sparkle in the lampglow

of the café, and the air will fill
with the humming confession that we are

too much like the city we live in.
Unimpressed by the roar of mosquitoes,

the buzz of hurricanes, we’ll sit
in wrought-iron chairs at the Café du Monde

and no one will leave, not even when we hear
the Mississippi is swelling. No one

in New Orleans wonders aloud if the city
will sink, no one mentions the fear

of tides. Polite as anyone,
neither will we--baptized in a faith

taboo to question. And when the river,
the artery of New Orleans bursts,

we’ll sink with the city before we admit
our return to the Café du Monde is the end.

Greetings, Saints & Sinners!

Greg and I decided to do something different this newsletter. Rather than do our usual show and tell about Suspect Thoughts Press, we thought we’d do a show and tell about what we know about the people we love in New Orleans. Like Martin Pousson, whose final poem from his upcoming collection, Sugar, we’re featuring here.

And give you some numbers and websites, just in case you don’t already have them, that you can use to locate lost loved ones, offer up a room of one’s own, or make a donation.

And then close, with a bit of righteous right-on wrath from one of our favorite columnists, Victoria A. Brownworth--because Greg and I are as outraged over what has happened as we are heartbroken.

And then finally--because there really are some cool events happening--we’ll do a little STP show-&-tell after all and list the readings nearest you.

But first, the whereabouts of those we love and their families in New Orleans.

As many of you know, Greg and I go to New Orleans each May for Saints & Sinners. The queer literary festival conceived of and made marvelous each year by Paul Willis. But Paul doesn’t work alone, and we’ve met so many amazing fellow New Orleanians through him. And I know a lot of you getting this newsletter have met them too. So, here’s what we know.

Author/editor/executive director (of both Saints & Sinners and the Tennessee Williams Festival) extraordinaire Paul Willis and his partner, author/editor/blogger extraordinaire, Greg Herren are safe at Paul’s parents in Illinois. To learn more, please visit Greg’s blog. (I encourage you to check out the collage of Bush in New Orleans in the comments to Greg’s post of September 2nd under the heading “Until We Meet Again in New Orleans.” Nero fiddled while Rome burned, and our Bush, he plucked while New Orleans drowned.)

Author Poppy Z Brite (Liquor, Prime, and many more) and husband Chris DeBarr are safe at her mother’s house in central Mississippi. Unfortunately, they were only able to take their dog and one of her 28 cats. She hasn’t heard anything about her house in Uptown or her cats yet. You can find out more at Poppy’s blog. (There is a section of animal rescue sites in the links below.)

Author/bisexual activist/creatix of Mind Caviar and so much more/suspect thoughts journal columnist Jamie Joy Gatto and her partner Ben are safe--but only after witnessing firsthand the hell on earth of New Orleans the last week. They made it to Houston where she and Ben are staying with a fellow bi-activist. She wrote to say that what she and Ben saw was far worse than anything reported on TV. Sage Vivant and M Christian are raising funds for Jamie Joy and Ben through PayPal. [Per Sage: If you'd like to contribute (and honestly, any amount you can spare will be helpful), please go to and send money to Sage (, specifying that your payment is for Jamie Joy. PayPal's records will help me keep track of who gave what, and I will then send her a check for the total amount collected along with a list of names who contributed. M. Christian and I would like to send this check no later than September 8.]

Author Elyn Selu (Pretty Is Just a Face I Make) and her husband Brad are safe, but like so many others, including my aunt Gail and her family, their house is under water.

Author Martin Pousson (No, Place Louisiana, and Sugar) and his Chihuahua, Butch, are safe and at his parents in Lafayette. Martin doesn’t have a car and didn’t plan on going to the shelters because they weren’t taking dogs. But his parents drove down and got them out Sunday night before Katrina made landfall.

Author Jean Redmann (Lost Daughters, The Intersection of Law and Desire) is safe and staying with friends in Orange, Texas.

Cherry Cappel (web designer extraordinaire who created the Saints & Sinners site) and her partner Beth Blankenship are with friends in Dallas.

Karissa Kary, Paul’s golden right hand at both Saints & Sinners and the Tennessee Williams Foundation--and one of the kindest and most on-the-ball people I’ve ever met, is safe with her boyfriend Rolf in Kansas.

Pat Brady, Saints & Sinners hostess with the mostest and author of Martha Washington: An American Life, is safe and staying with her beau in Hammond, LA.

The family of author Marty Hyatt (A Scarecrow’s Bible), including his mom and aunt, are safe and sound.

The family of New Orleans born-and-bred Patrick Ryan (author and founder and editor-in-chief of Lodestar Quarterly) are safe. Patrick’s mom is going to be staying with him in San Francisco until she can return.

The family of San Francisco’s own Melinda Adams, aka LilyCat, a New Orleans native and a networker, promoter of San Francisco’s various alt-lit communities through nonstop readings and benefits, is safe. She’s organizing a Red Cross benefit in San Francisco this October. To find out more, visit her blog.

And now here’s some of those sites I mentioned earlier if you’d like to locate loved ones, offer up a room of one’s own, or make a donation.

Locating Loved Ones:

Katrina I’m Ok

You can enter phone numbers to let people know you’re okay as well as look for others.

This site belongs to a woman who has the same name as the hurricane. She got so many requests for information that she turned her site into info clearinghouse. Also there are message boards for people locating each other.

Housing: ( created this site. If you have room to offer, post it here.


American Red Cross ( or 1-800-HELP-NOW

Second Harvest (
Provides food--almost all the money donated goes to just that food, not overhead.

Acorn Institute (
This group focused on affordable housing is headquartered in New Orleans, yet it keeps on trying to find housing for others. Mercy Corps (
I hadn’t heard of this group before, but they are focused on rebuilding the entire community that has been devastated, not just temporary emergency relief.

Episcopal Relief &Development ( or 1-800-334-7626

United Methodist Committee on Relief ( or 1-800-554-8583

Salvation Army (or or 1-800-SAL-ARMY

Catholic Charities ( or 1-800-919-9338

FEMA Charity tips (

National Voluntary Organizations Active in Disaster (

Animal Rescue:

American Humane Society (

Louisiana Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (

North Shore Animal League (

EARS (Emergency Animal Rescue Service) (

Noah's Wish (


And now, as promised, some outrage.

For those who don’t know Victoria A. Brownworth, your loss. She’s a Pulitzer Prize-nominated journalist, an amazing columnist, and a Lambda Literary Award-winning essayist and author (Too Queer: Essays from a Radical Life and Coming Out of Cancer: Writings from the Lesbian Cancer Epidemic). She’s let us reprint this call to arms in its entirety. And Victoria says it’s already be assailed on the right as proof of those traitors in our midst who dare to politicize this tragedy and she’s got a flood of hate mail to prove it. But Greg and I say, this country needs more truth-to-power-tellers like Victoria. We’re proud to claim her as a friend and to reprint her words here:


friends and colleagues: what follows is a call to action. i would ask that you read it in its entirety because i believe that the information contained here will spur you forward as it has me. please pass it on to as many people as you can. thanks in advance.---victoria brownworth

as many of you know, i used to live and work in the city that is now the epicenter of the worst natural disaster in american history. new orleans is imbedded in my heart and soul. it is a recurring presence in my writing and it is a shadow that follows me throughout me life. i love new orleans.

and now i weep for her and for those for whom she has become a living hell.

i used to live in two of the places completely submerged by water, now, places where all that can be seen are desperate people or desperate animals or both running back and forth on rooftops screaming for the help that seems nowhere in sight.

this morning i began my day in prayer for the survivors and for the survivors of those who did not survive. and then i watched george bush on good morning america.

no one i have spoken to about new orleans, even those generally not given to sentiment, has been unmoved by the absolute horror that is happening there. the abject, grinding, leveling horror.

except george bush.

abc anchor diane sawyer, once a speechwriter for richard nixon, thus she has been in the company of evil before, kept asking bush again and again: "why didn't you come back from vacation?" "why hasn't there been aid sent yet?" "why are the mayor and governor saying it's all too slow?" (after all, the category five storm had been barreling down on the city for more than a week before it made landfall late sunday night.) and on and on.

behind the stumbling, inarticulate excuses and the unrelenting smirks lay a man with absolutely no sense of the enormity of either the tragedy or of his responsibility to try and make right what his appalling inaction had exacerbated into the very terrorism about which he talks so much.

as a reporter, as a journalist, as someone who has worked in various avenues of human rights for three decades, i have seen some awful things. i have images in my head that will never be erased. some of those images were implanted in my early days in the south. but the images of the last week have been a new and distinct horror. and it would take a true sociopath, i believe, to remain unmoved by what has been transpiring this week in new orleans.

yet george bush is unmoved.

his interview with sawyer, in which he urged patience and resolve---addressing thousands who had not had water or food SINCE SUNDAY --was bad. his handlers must have been grimacing throughout the hour. but his press conference later this afternoon was ever so much worse.

bush reiterated his calls for patience, although he left out the brutal line he had delivered to sawyer earlier: "i know people wanted this done yesterday. but it's a big job."

as if he hadn't gotten around to a chore like mowing the white house lawn. as if people were not literally dying in the superdome, on the roof of truro hospital a block from where i once lived, on rooftops in the ninth ward where i once worked with the poorest of new orleans many, many poor. dying for lack of water and food in america, not darfur. in america, an hour and a half from washington by plane. not a half a world away in africa.

the press conference reiterated the theme of patience and then got to the heart of his concern: rising oil and gas prices. of his eight minute speech, six were devoted to concerns over gas.

people are dying on the streets and on the rooftops of the city i love and the president, the man with the power to stop it, to staunch the arterial bleeding, is concerned over whether or not the suvs will have enough gas to run.

i won't mince words here. i could not be more filled with rage. i am now declaring myself the cindy sheehan of this tragedy: george bush is allowing my beloved town to die a hideous, agonizing death. he is turning decent people whose only "crime" is their poverty and their race into anarchists. he is turning human beings--the elderly, small children, babies, mothers, the disabled--into waste, left where they died to be picked up later, perhaps, by some death cart out of the middle ages. he is rendering one of the most beautiful, historic, intoxicating places in this country into nothing more than an superating wound of misery and pain, chaos and death.

how can he--how can *we*--bear the suffering being inflicted on our fellow americans?


there has to be a point where americans refuse to allow this man to take any more lives through his laziness, his inaction, his greed, his callousness, his "agenda."

katrina began the suffering, but bush has done nothing to salve it. this morning sen. mary landrieu said that between 12,000 and 16,000 were dead in new orleans. i heard at least five reporters on five different newscasts today assert that they had watched people die--at truro, at the superdome, in the french quarter, in the cbd. one veteran photojournalist from nbc who has covered many a horror went inside the superdome today and took video and recounted what he saw. no one in charge, a stench of dead bodies and raw sewage unimaginable, he said. one nurse among more than 20,000 people. no water. no food, no toilets. at the end, after watching a baby die, after pushing dead bodies out of his way, he broke down. he wept. he could not go on.

where are the president's tears? i know mine have not stopped since sunday when the catastrophe was inevitable. but where is that compassionate conservativism upon which he launched his presidential tenure?

please, please, please: call the white house, call your senators, call any person whose name you know in washington and protest this hideous and callous disregard for america's poorest, most helpless, most vulnerable people. demand that water be airlifted to the city NOW, that food be dropped NOW, that the dying be stopped NOW.

bush has asserted since 9/11 that his raison d'etre is to keep terrorism from our shores.

take a look at anarchy unleashed by despair and hopeless and fear and hunger and THIRST in new orleans: that is terrorism on our shores and it was put there by bush's inaction. katrina struck the city a powerful, near-fatal blow. but it has been the abandonment of the thousands too poor to leave that has turned the town lawless, that has escalated the dying.

imagine not having water, food, sleep, a shower--even brushing your teeth or washing your face--for five looooooong days. and all the while you are holding the hand of your tiny child or sick parent or disabled neighbor or just rocking in your own quaking fear, isolated amidst thousands just as terrorized and desperate as you. and all the while you are wondering if there will be anything of your life left to go home to if you ever exit the hell you are now in.

that is the level of suffering that has driven the violence in new orleans today. the majority of the looting has been brought about by suffering---the suffering wrought by katrina and the suffering wrought by a lifetime of poverty. there may be some real villainy at hand there, in the roving gangs, in the scattered rapists. but that would be any day in any city, without the spur of so much chaos and misery.

for us, compassion for the victims must also be stoked by our rage at the failure of the bush administration to act in either a timely or even concerned fashion. have you ever seen--except in the visage of a dictator like saddam hussein--such utter lack of interest?

the head of fema, michael brown, spoke on the news tonight. when nbc anchor brian williams asked him why none of the army helicopters could just drop water on pallets to the city, brown replied that he didn't know that there were peaceful (i.e., not looters) people waiting for water until that broadcast and he had urged his people to get them services immediately. the head of the relief operations didn't know what everyone with a tv in the entire country knows? that thousands of people are dying of dehydration in america a stone's throw from where he sits?

then fire him.

please: be outraged, be as outraged as you would be if it were your city, your families, your homes, your lives. this is not a third world nation in which corrupt and violent leaders keep life-giving services from the starving and dying.

this is america, friends. a nation of incomparable wealth.

but this week new orleans is indeed a third world city and the president has uttered not a single phrase of care or concern, just a revamping of his iraq speeches about "staying the course" and "it will take years to rebuild."

but what about now?

the people dying in new orleans AS YOU READ THIS do not have the luxury of time or equivocation, smirks or shrugs.

be angry. get your friends angry. propel your anger into action because a terrorist attack could indeed befall us one day, augmented by bush's deadly foreign policies. should that fateful day occur, we will all become like the poor suffering masses of people in new orleans who but for their poverty, are you or i.

make your voices heard, please. demand action now. express just how appalled you are at the needless suffering, the needless dying.

and don't forget to give what you can to the relief efforts. we are so very fortunate it is not us--but it very well could be us one day with this man in the white house for three more years. let him know how you feel. now, today, before anyone else dies at his hands. before we become any more complicit in the blood he continues to spill.

thank you.

victoria brownworth
philadelphia, pa.


And now last, but never least, is my husband, Mr. Wharton, with the latest readings and events.

Yours, ever-fondly, in thoughtcrime, Ian


*** September/October Readings and Events ***

September 20, 7:00 pm

Ali Liebegott reads from The Beautifully Worthless with Katia Noyes and Crashing America A Clean Well-Lighted Place for Books 601 Van Ness Avenue, San Francisco Phone: 415-441-6670

September 22, wine starts pouring at 7:00 pm

Ali Liebegott reads from The Beautifully Worthless with Katia Noyes and Crashing America Readers' Books 130 E. Napa Street, Sonoma Phone: 707-939-1779

September 27, 7:00 pm

Rode Hard, Put Away Wet Reading Editors Sacchi Green and Rakelle Valencia with TBD Food for Thought Books 106 N. Pleasant Street, Amherst Phone: 413-253-5432

October 4, 7:00 pm

Multi-author (Dodie Bellamy, Kevin Killian + TBD) reading to honor Sam D’Allesandro and the release of The Wild Creatures: Collected Stories of Sam D'Allesandro, edited by Kevin Killian

City Lights Bookstore

261 Columbus Avenue, San Francisco

Phone: 415-362-8193

October 15, TBD pm

Litquake: Lit Crawl The Wild Creatures: Collected Stories of Sam D'Allesandro Reading Editor Kevin Killian with Stephen Beachy and Alvin Orloff

Location and time TBD

October 30, 4:00-6:00 pm

SPOOKY! Suspect Thoughts Press ghouls Stephen Beachy, Dodie Bellamy, Justin Chin, Jennifer Natalya Fink, Thea Hillman, Kevin Killian, Mattilda a.k.a. Matt Bernstein Sycamore, Ian Philips, D. Travers Scott, and Greg Wharton read from their favorite "scary" stories. What scares this bunch? Expect the bizarre, fantastic, unearthly, gruesome, horrific and/or just plain unexpected. Bring your tricks. We'll give away treats. Boo! Modern Times Bookstore 888 Valencia Street San Francisco Phone: 415-282-9246


August 26, 2005

in Clean Sheets this week

In this crazy world, we are always grateful for those angels, like Sensuous Sadie, who take the time to photograph their dolls in kinky positions...and can even explain why they do so!

August 21, 2005

Los Angeles

A selection of artist Spencer Tunick's photographs from his controversial nude installations involving HIV-positive models will be on display August 18-25 at the ArcLight Cinemas in Los Angeles (and other cities this fall). Featuring documented images from Tunick's renowned installations, where mass numbers of nude people occupy landmark public venues in some of the world's most populous cities, the mini-exhibit is presented in conjunction with the Los Angeles premiere of the documentary film Positively Naked.

August 18, 2005

I've been looking at the picture of Jude Law's dangly bits and reading the sneers at it's size -- okay, who hasn't been? Law's little buddy is the latest big thing in celebrity scandals, except that according to most commentators, it's not really a big thing. Take a closer look, though. He's bending forward, which means that his dick is shadowed and in the background, so much so that his balls are all but invisible. All that's clear in the photograph is the head and a little bit of the shaft. The rest is lost to perspective, lighting and what looks to be a respectable bush. I still wouldn't call it huge, but it doesn't seem to be all that terribly small for a flaccid willy. When you add to this the fact that resting size is no indicator of fighting fitness, what we see is not what his nanny got.

Personally, I think all of this whining is sour grapes. After all, every significant other who has been fantasizing about Jude Law now has a lot more detail to work with and since most men don't look anything like how Law looks with his clothes on, they'd all like to think they've got something, at least, that he doesn't. So if you're one of the fantazisers and you've been feeling disappointed, take a closer look. Much closer. And be sure to close the blinds first unless you actually want the neighbors to see what you're doing.

August 5, 2005

"The night I met Aria, all I wanted was my GSXR-1000. All I wanted as I entered the car park was to feel the bike's power beneath me as I coaxed it delicately down to ground level before twisting the throttle and aiming it straight down the middle of the road. All I'd wanted was 100 miles an hour in first gear, 0 -- 60 in 2.8 seconds. All I'd wanted was to be adrift, floating in space, just one more piece of flotsam amongst the post-millennial wreckage, waiting for the impact.

But gravity had other ideas. Gravity was Aria in a deserted car park, half-naked and handcuffed to a lamppost, her mouth covered by a strip of duct tape." the rest of Michael O'Mahony's terrific story "Aria" this week in Clean Sheets

August 2, 2005

"You see, the homophobia of the Marine Corps was very different from the homophobia of Bob Jones University. The worst that could happen to you in the marines is that you might get thrown out, or, really, in the worse case, get thrown in the brig for violations of Article 123 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice [the anti-sodomy provision.] Either of those penalties, I was prepared to deal with. At BJU, however, sodomy got you thrown into the Lake of Hellfire and Damnation for all eternity. I was NOT prepared to deal with that..."

Read the rest of Rich Merritt's interview at Nightcharm.

July 29, 2005

another picture worth a thousand words...

July 25, 2005


Canada legalized gay marriage last week, becoming the world's fourth nation to grant full legal rights to same-sex couples. (The Netherlands, Belgium, and Spain are the only other nations that allow gay marriage nationwide.)

“There are some reasons to dance tonight and the whole country should be dancing,” said Canadian Senator Nancy Ruth, as she danced in Parliament.

Read the rest here.

July 20, 2005

New and exciting things
happening at Clean Sheets:

Rock Me Erotica Contest

A new writing contest! Tell us a story. Make it short -- less than 2000 words. Make it sexy. Make music an important theme of your story -- jazz, rock, hip-hop, anything you're passionate about. It could be a story based on a song title, a story about an amazing night at a concert (or under your personal sound system), a fantasy about Elvis, a total eclipse of the heart, or anything at all involving music. Be serious, funny, poetic, soulful, or absurd, but be sure to be original, sexy, and musical. See the Rock Me Contest page for all the details.

The Rauxa Prize for Erotic Writing

The Rauxa Prize carries an award of $1,000, given annually for an erotic short story of exceptional literary quality. The award is judged by a select jury, and chosen from work nominated by editors and writers. Publications of any type are encouraged to nominate qualifying material. Each publication may nominate up to five stories for inclusion; any individual may nominate a single story.

See the Rauxa Prize Web page for all the details!

Laundry Lists -- Favorite Things

Ever wander through the massive Clean Sheets archives wondering where the very best stuff was? Or where the BDSM stories were...or maybe great sensual poetry? Wander no longer -- taking a cue from Amazon, Clean Sheets has begun to build our own Favorite Things lists, which are recommendations of stories and poems and articles that various readers, writers, and editors love. Take a peek, and then....

...if you would like to contribute your own "favorites" list to our growing Laundry Lists collection, please e-mail your favorite pieces with their links to favorites (at) (preferably from 5 - 15 stories/poems/articles). We will be glad to publish your bio with your list. We'd love to read more lists that are "themed" like Julian Robinson's BDSM list, or, just your plain ol' favorites!

For Writers/Submissions

Effective July 2005, Clean Sheets has become what some writers so fondly call "a paying market" for fiction. We have new fiction submission guidelines which will explain this further.

We also offer a free book from our bookstore to contributors of poetry, exotica, and essays. We love our contributors madly, and hope these incentives will make everyone happy and also make Clean Sheets a great choice for the submission of your erotic writing.

What's spanking new page

Last but not least, be sure to bookmark our spanking(we wish!) brand new What's New? page, for further updates.

July 17, 2005

Serena Williams, in Four Inches

Dressed in nothing but Jimmy Choo spikes and a single piece of Cartier jewelry, a constellation of beautiful, successful and empowering women bare all in aid of the Elton John AIDS Foundation. Christina Aguilera, Rachel Hunter, Jodie Kidd, Victoria Beckham, Kate Moss, Macy Gray, Geri Halliwell, and Serena Williams to name but a few, discard their designer outfits and strike a pose for the camera. All the pictures are taken by women too, in fact, some of the world's best female photographers including Mary McCartney, Sam Taylor-Wood and Ellen von Unwerth. And yes, occasionally you can believe what you read in the tabloids -- Sarah Ferguson does indeed appear within these pages, but it's all in the best possible taste and for a very good cause.

Buy the beautiful art in Four Inches from Amazon and support the Elton John AIDS Foundation.

July 12, 2005


Be a Babeland Toy Reviewer!

Ever fantasized about what it's like to have a job reviewing sex toys? Make it real! The winners of Babeland's annual contest will become high profile Babeland toy reviewers for six months. So you could be lounging around, eating bon bons, and playing with some of the many sex toys our generous vendors lavish upon us. Reality TV contestants don't have it this good! For more information see the Toys in Babeland site.

July 9, 2005


An orange on the table
Your dress on the rug
And you in my bed
Sweet present of the present
Cool of night
Warmth of my life.

         --Jacques Prévert

July 2, 2005

Celebration in Spain


Spain became the third country to legalize gay marriage last week - the other two countries that recognize gay marriage are the Netherlands and Belgium. Canada is expected to legalize same-sex marriage by the end of July.

June 27, 2005

Just in time for Pride, advice for 15 year-old fags and dykes from grown up gays and lesbians...

Three words: HIGH SCHOOL ENDS. No matter how much life sucks right now, it will get better. It'll never be all rainbows and happiness, but some day you'll know, your family will know, your friends will know, and you won't think twice about putting your name at the end of an e-mail like this....

Read the rest in Savage Love.

June 23, 2005


18 U.S.C. §2257: Invasion of privacy, or a good idea?

"Starting June 23, in the name of "save-our-children-from-becoming-porno-slaves," new regulations take effect that require model releases on all photos displayed on all Web sites if the photo is sexually explicit," Alexander wrote..."

Read the rest here.

June 13, 2005


Could gang-bang porn be the next fertility aid? Beyond what it takes to help a guy to fill the specimen cup, that is?

It turns out that looking at pictures of heterosexual sex increases sperm motility in straight men. The theory is that the pictures trigger what is called sperm competition. Apparently, if the more primitive parts of a man's brain think that his chances at reproductive success are being compromised by a rival, they respond by boosting the effectiveness of his sperm. Other studies have shown that when pornography involves more than one person, presumably female, men prefer to add more men to the picture.

It seems that the competition doesn't have to be real to matter physically, and that something about it appeals to men psychologically or emotionally as well. I'm not a man so I can't even begin to guess why, but it does seem to explain the straying wife and gang-bang fantasies that abound on the Internet, and it strikes me as a handy piece of information to have should someone need to explain certain aspects of his magazine collection to a partner he is attempting to knock up.

Pictures of women alone or girl on girl action, it seems, don't have the same effect. Sorry!

-Ann Regentin

June 8, 2005

New York City

"Politics good. Sex better ... much."
        --a Yoda-like 5-word acceptance speech from the Webbies last night

Also, Al Gore accepted a lifetime achievement award at the Webbies, which require winners to fit their gratitude into no more than five words: "Please, don't recount this vote."

June 5, 2005

firefly light:
  I step off the path
  of woman's virtue

May 30, 2005

The Corset Piercing -- another picture worth a thousand words.

May 16, 2005

in Clean Sheets

"Funny story about the Rabbit. I bought one and instantly fell in love with it. I remember laughing hysterically (with it still inserted) after I used it for the first time -- not because it was funny (although dildos/vibrators are kind of funny), but because it was just so fucking fabulous. I mean, it made me come -- from a dry start -- in under a minute. Can you imagine how many orgasms you can have in a day with one of these things?"

May 11, 2005

around the globe

Esquire Magazine conducted a global sex survey of more than 11,000 women with an average age of 22. Results include:

Some 33 percent of American women said they masturbate several times a week — but Brits, Israelis, Brazilians and Indonesian women do it more.

American women do take their sex toys seriously -- asked whether they own a vibrator or sex aid, 46 percent of American women said yes, yes, yes.

British women were second — 45 percent said they own one — followed by Swedish women, 43 percent; German women, 38 percent; and Aussies, 34 percent.

How many men have the women of the world slept with?

Women in Brazil, Israel and Russia led the pack, admitting to having bedded 10 or more men, while American women said they've slept with about nine. Indonesia scored the lowest with only two.

The world's top pick-up line in the United States? "Don't I know you from somewhere?" In Brazil, it's the sexier, "You're delicious!" But the most widely used line in the world is: "You have beautiful eyes."

Esquire also asked women to rate the sexiness of President Bush on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest. Apparently no one went negative as some of us might, but he gets pretty low ratings all around, with Indonesian women finding him the sexiest with 2.2 on a scale of 1-10, followed by American women, at 2.1.

May 6, 2005


Microsoft For Gay Rights Bill

AP --In a turnaround today, Microsoft Corp. chief executive Steve Ballmer said the company will support gay rights legislation.

Ballmer made the announcement in an e-mail to employees two weeks after gay rights activists accused the company of withdrawing its support for an anti-discrimination bill in its home state after an evangelical pastor threatened to launch a national boycott.

The bill died by a single vote in the state Senate in late April.

"After looking at the question from all sides, I've concluded that diversity in the workplace is such an important issue for our business that it should be included in our legislative agenda," Ballmer wrote...

Read the rest here

May 4, 2005


Nipple clamps will make him nicer.

9. I will ride him like a cruise ship full of mediocre lounge singers.

8. Picture his mouth stuffed with good, warm things.

7. Paula Abdul will cheer for us and hand out motivational bracelets....

Read the rest here in Clean Sheets!

April 27, 2005

Auburn Hills, Michigan

wet lips,
all i see
the woman's

April 20, 2005

San Francisco

Mark Morford's 14 Thoughts For The New Pope:

...You know what we wanted? More sex. Love. Good TV. Gender freedom. Better wine. Less sneering doctrine and homophobia and sexism and more fun with condoms and music and spiritual joy. But, instead, we got you....

1) You read it right: Endorse condoms. Crazy, isn't it? But this is what millions were hoping for. Condoms and birth control and finally allow your miserable, repressed priests to get married and have sex so as to avoid mental breakdown and spiritual angst and gross pedophilic urges. Hold to the Old Ways on this topic, Benedict, and you'll simply become even more archaic and silly and disrespected to the point where no one of the independent-minded and especially female persuasion anywhere in the world will have any respect for what you stand for. I am so not kidding...

Read the rest in SFGate here.

April 14, 2005


"Along with Kate Millet in Sexual Politics, Andrea Dworkin used her considerable intellectual powers to analyze pornography, which was something that no one had done before. No one. The men who made porn didn’t. Porn was like a low culture joke before the feminist revolution kicked its ass. It was beneath discussion. Not so anymore!

Here’s the irony...every single woman who pioneered the sexual revolution, every erotic-feminist-bad-girl-and-proud-of-it-stiletto-shitkicker, was once a fan of Andrea Dworkin...."

Read the rest of Susie Bright's excellent eulogy here.

The Dworkin Lie Detector is here - do you know what she really said?

April 11, 2005


Scientists at the Novosibirsk Institute of Medicine have just confirmed what many BDSM aficionados have known for years: caning is good for you. That's right, sixty good ones on the bare bottom aren't just sexy, they're downright beneficial.

According to the researchers, a good caning releases endorphins, the body's natural euphorics, and can help reduce appetite, increase sex drive (ya think?), even enhance immune response. Caning is said to help with depression, alcoholism, and even the flu, and to lessen the effects of chronic pain in ways similar to morphine and codeine. One of the beauties of it, from the point of view of the researchers, is that caning is supposed to be nonaddictive, although some folks might beg to differ. The standard course of treatment is thirty sessions of sixty whacks.

Oh Master? I think I feel a cold coming on...

-Ann Regentin

April 4, 2005

As news spreads that teens who pledge chastity have lots more kinky sex, millions of aging boomers ask: Where was Bush when I was in high school?

--from the Bill Maher Show

New Rule: Abstinence pledges make you horny. A new eight-year study just released reveals that American teenagers who take "virginity" pledges of the sort so favored by the Bush administration wind up with just as many STDs as the other kids.

But that's not all -- taking the pledges also makes a teenage girl six times more likely to perform oral sex, and a boy four times more likely to get anal. Which leads me to an important question: where were these pledges when I was in high school?

Seriously, when I was a teenager, the only kids having anal intercourse were the ones who missed. My idea of lubrication was oiling my bike chain. If I had known I could have been getting porn star sex the same year I took Algebra II, simply by joining up with the Christian right, I'd have been so down with Jesus they would have had to pry me out of the pew.

For a bunch of teens raised on creationism, these red state kids today are pretty evolved -- sexually, anyway, and for that they can thank all who joined forces to try and legislate away human nature, specifically the ineluctable urge of teenagers to hump.

Yes, the "What do we tell the children?" crowd apparently decided not to tell them anything. Because people who talk about pee-pees are potty-mouths. And so armed with limited knowledge, and believing regular, vaginal intercourse to be either immaculate or filthy dirty, these kids did with their pledge what everybody does with contracts: they found loopholes. Two of them to be exact.

Is there any greater irony than the fact that the Christian Right actually got their precious little adolescent daughters to say to their freshly scrubbed boyfriends: "Please, I want to remain pure for my wedding night, so only in the ass. Then I'll blow you." Well, at least these kids are really thinking outside the box.

There's a lot worse things than teenagers having sex, namely, teenagers NOT having sex. Here's something you'll never hear: "That suicide bomber blew himself up because he was having too much sex. Sex, sex, sex, non-stop. All that crazy Arab ever had was sex, and look what happened."

Well, that's our story -- of how faith and the party of smaller government combined to turn your kids into a generation of super-freaks. Which shouldn't be surprising: Prohibition didn't work, "Just say no" didn't work, and I understand there's a host of Americans who illegally obtain and smoke marijuana. They're the ones who've been giggling every time I say anal sex.

April 1, 2005

WASHINGTON, D.C. In a surprise press conference in the Rose Garden this morning, President Bush announced his new agenda for sex education in America. The President admitted that his former "abstinence-only" agenda was outdated and not aligned with reality, and provided reporters with his new ten-point plan for sex education, which actually will include education.

"People like to fuck!" he pointed out with his customary smirk. "I just forgot for a while what it was like to be a teenager, because they've made me be so uptight around here, propping me up as their neo-con puppet boy." The President explained that he read a report linked to on Clean Sheets ("hot little magazine!" he snickered toward Laura in the background) that pointed out that virginity pledges don't reduce the rates of STD's, and that teenagers were just getting kinkier while being dumb.

"Dumb!" he exclaimed, "I remember that perfectly! Kids never stop fucking once they get the urge, everybody knows that!" Mrs. Bush looked at him doubtfully, perhaps trying to remember, but never stopped smiling.

"Safe, intelligent, healthy sex education that admits that people are sexual human beings and deserve to be treated with honesty and respect. It has been a mistake to try and put blinders on everyone and ignore what really goes on...that's it! That's it!....." -- President Bush began to stammer, but also began to glow with the delight of a student who has fianlly figured out the answer to that important exam question so long ago -- "...that's it! That's the one single mistake I ever made in my entire life!"

Reporters are said not to have been fooled, and the surprised silence was broken only by the hurried clicking of keys as they all began to research the wisdom of Clean Sheets.

--Susannah Indigo

March 23, 2005

Virginity Pledges Don't Reduce Rates of STD's, Study Finds:

"...Although many avoided vaginal intercourse to "technically preserve their virginity," Prof. Bruckner said, they were more likely than their counterparts to have oral and anal sex, and to do so without condoms."

Read the rest here.

March 21, 2005

for spring

"How to Hypnotize a Man" (and plenty of women too!) -- ..with one simple click of your mouse.

March 14, 2005

on the radio

Bondage Radio Hits Its Target Audience

Some radio stations try to beat the competition, but one Internet radio station prefers to beat its listeners.

For the last seven years, has been supplying news, talk, and music hits to kinksters around the world.

Station owner Paul Coates says the online station hits a unique demographic of fetishists, many of whom he says live in rural areas where there aren't many dominants and submissives.

As you might expect, S&M themed songs like "Chains" or "Whip It" are part of the playlist, but the disc jockeys also have their own personalities.

One of the most popular disc jockeys is "Rolling Thunder," a dominant who plays country songs with a submissive slant -- like "Stand By Your Man."

Another show features two dance disc jockeys named "Sweet" and "Groove," who act out a master-slave relationship on the air.

Coates claims BondageRadio is the first fetish-oriented radio station in the world, and figures it's also the best because, as he puts it, "seven competing stations have started since we did, and we've beaten them all."

March 7, 2005

New York City

A funny report from the post-screening panel event for "Inside Deep Throat," which included Catherine McKinnon:

"The boisterous audience included a clutch of entertainers like Bebe Neuwirth, Claire Danes, Fred Schneider, Scot Whitman, John Epperson aka Lypsinka, Jason Bateman, Ron Silver joined at the hip to doppelganger Alan Dershowitz, and Gwyneth Paltrow. There were reams of scribes: Erica Jong, Tina Brown, the Page Six posse, Cintra Wilson, Emma Forest. And a gaggle of documentarians: Andrew Jarecki (Capturing the Friedmans), Shari Berman (American Splendor), Todd Graff (Camp), and Barbara Kopple (My Generation)...."

"...Catherine McKinnon did her thing, claiming that the film we had just watched was promoting the acceptance of rape. At one point, however, her righteous zeal became unhinged when she claimed that it was not possible to do deep throat safely, that it was a dangerous act that could only be done under hypnosis. "What's so funny?" she snapped as the audience rippled with mirth. Todd Graff's hand shot up -- "I can do it," he said, and the room echoed with a chorus of gay men going "me too!" (Gigi Grazer - wife of Brian - later told Graff to stop bragging, and that she could do it better than him and had the rocks on her fingers to prove it. Touché)...."

Read the rest here.

March 3, 2005

...almost as pretty as our favorite naked protestors!

February 26, 2005

at Babeland

Just in time for Oscar night, Babeland gives us their staff selections for Best Porn Movies of 2004!

February 21, 2005


A picture worth a thousand words, from Celebrating Yoni.

February 18, 2005

Jennifer Beals

on Showtime

"'The L Word' is the definitive new 'Sex and the City,' only with more true sex and more dramatic intent..."

Season 2 of the sexiest show around (with Jennifer Beals of 'Flashdance' fame) starts this Sunday! Read the rest of the review in the San Francisco Chronicle.

February 15, 2005

at home

"My second-grade daughter is rummaging around in my bathroom drawer (as second-grade daughters sometimes do) and she makes a rather unfortunate discovery. She wanders out of the bathroom holding a small butt plug, and asks, 'What's this, Mommy?'".....

Read the rest of this article about the challenge of maintaining a S/M romance for a stay-at-home mom with three small children, in Good Vibes Magazine.

February 11, 2005


Visit the gallery of Alexander Paulin's beautiful black and white nudes.

February 7, 2005

Because it's Monday, and it's cute & funny & catchy & maybe even profoundly true... check out Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me, in full bunny animation.

February 3, 2005

It seems like New York artist Lisa Alisa's sexy, sometimes violent, and always provocative acrylic paintings and drawings are everywhere these days; they're featured in gallery exhibitions in Pittsburgh, Los Angeles, and San Francisco this month alone. How does she respond to the controversy her work occasionally stirs up? "Life is a violent and beautiful thing, you die from it. My art is nothing but a portrayal of everyday life...My art explores the depth of horror, dreams of nonchalance, and aims to bring a catharsis." Whether or not it brings you to that point, it's still some pretty great stuff.

January 27, 2005

Here are the Lambda Literary Award book finalists for 2005, including the erotica category. The awards ceremony takes place in New York City in June.

Congratulations to all finalists!

January 24, 2005

from Burning Man, of course...

January 20, 2005

a slight pause in sex notes, to note this mostly unhumorous inauguration day in America

Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; its conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are a delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?

January 17, 2005
Violet Blue

Las Vegas

From Violet Blue's report on the AVN Adult Expo in Las Vegas:

porn star plane crash (1/13):

A dismembered hand, gnarled, curled up in what could only be a death grip. A hacked-off pair of feet, seared together from what must have been scorching heat and violent fire, leaving only a tiny gap between. Horrifying torsos, with limbs chopped off in a gruesomely rude accident that must have involved astounding force and flying metal to have removed the parts as cleanly as a serial killer. And the genitalia, everywhere -- severed penises, rendered-apart vulvas in various states, some with hair and some without, all with the ghastly color of dead flesh. All cool to the touch. Surely I had arrived late into the scene of the crash.

Or maybe I was standing in the middle of the Adult Video Expo in the business-to-business section, surrounded by the latest crop of sex toys. Okay, I was, but you get the idea. With all the parts on display in the other parts of the expo, and the Hannibal Lecter cooking hour assembly in the back, it was hard not to feel the disconnect. It was Thursday....

Read the rest here; and don't miss her photoblog here!

January 16, 2005


Photographer Petter Hegre visited Kiev with Luba to see in the New Year with her family and watch all the street action first hand. But it's not all politics...he's continuing his quest to bring back to Hegre-Archives the most beautiful girls on the planet, and where better to look than in the Ukrainian capital in these heady days of orange freedom.

January 5, 2005

San Francisco

Save that porn!

Carol Queen wants your old porn.

Not right now, not if you're using it. But later, when you want to purge it, replace it or, you know, when you're gone you could leave it to her in your will.

Queen will add it to the growing collection of erotica in the library of the Center for Sex and Culture. The center already has 7,000 erotic books, 2,000 adult videotapes, 2,000 to 3,000 magazines and 1,000 pieces of erotic art. There is also a collection of old and antique sexual devices...

Read the rest here

January 1, 2005

on the Web

Because we never feature quite enough big dicks and bare butts in Clean Sheets...except in words, of course! .... here to keep you busy for the new year is Fleshbot's Big Muscle of the Week page, which will take you onward for a peek at the Big Muscle personals, and its delightful cousin, Big Muscle Bears.

December 29, 2004

Ypsilanti, Michigan

There has got to be a better word for it than "dry hump." I mean, come on..."dry hump" sounds...well...dry: dull, boring, fifth-rate sex, what you do when you're too young to fuck, it's still a bit too early to fuck (but you want to really bad!), or you don't have a condom handy, any of which or more may be true at the time but none of which even comes close to the truth.

He lay back on the couch and pulled me onto him, sexy in and of itself but even better on a nice, solid body like his, just right for lying on, for wrapping my legs around. We started with kissing, which gets addictive with him very quickly, and escalated into a hot, sweet grind, hair and clothes soaked in sweat, faces soaked in sweat and spit from open mouths going from mouth to neck and back again. My cunt was a thick, buried knot, and I was dead certain I was going to have a dick-shaped bruise on my pubic bone come morning, but we didn't stop until my arthritic shoulders were screaming in protest and we were both completely drenched.

And the only expression the English language has for this is a "dry hump"? Give me a break!

December 20, 2004


We just love the art of body painting like this, especially when it comes from China's official news site...suggesting hope and freedom, or at least some sexy beauty, as the world progresses.

December 15, 2004


Canada Goes To Hell

Did you hear the screams? Did you feel the menacing chill? Did you see the black and ominous clouds, moving north?

Did you sense, in other words, the very presence of Satan himself as he laughed maniacally and tossed around bucketfuls of ultrathin condoms and little travel-size packets of Astroglide like confetti while riding his Harley Softail up to Toronto or maybe Edmonton to join the ghastly and sodomitic celebrations?

Because it's happened. Canada's high court just ruled that the government can, if it so desires, redefine marriage to include gay couples, which it has declared it will do almost immediately, thus solidifying Canada's place as the chilly yet mellow and gay friendly and hockey-riffic epicenter of all known hell.

It's true. It's rather amazing. Gay marriage will be completely legal in Canada very soon. It's been oddly ignored in much of the U.S. media and hasn't really been much discussed among those in the terrified red states except when, deep in the night, from their respective lumpy twin beds, they whisper to each other across the room as they pop their Ambien and stroke their portfolios and curse their very genitals: Oh my God, what's wrong with those freakin' Canadians?...

Read the rest from Mark Morford here.

December 13, 2004

New York City

Here's a terrific column from Rachel Kramer Bussel on having a planned sex-date with Betty Dodson's young male partner, and on the enlightened concept of non-monogamy.

December 6, 2004


For those of you who find the lines between naughty or nice somewhat blurred this holiday season, stop wasting time fighting the feeling, the year's almost done -- spend what days are left enjoying your nice and naughty side. One place to start is with Northbound Leather’s Annual Leather Christmas Stocking. That’s the naughty bit. What’s nice is that for the 6th year, brothers, owners, and operators Bill and George Giaouris are donating the net proceeds from the sale of the stocking to Casey House Aids Hospice. Northbound Leather has supported AIDS causes since the early 80s, donating thousands of dollars in cash and products through various leather events.

December 1, 2004 -World AIDS Day 2004

Please take a minute today and find out what's happening on World AIDS Day in 2004.

Then read touching, personal profiles of three women living with HIV.

Take note that just this week, there is a bit of positive news - a possible "vaccine" for HIV patients. Though the experiment falls short of a breakthrough against AIDS, it represents a rare piece of good news in the field of vaccine research,

Read the story of Jim Pickett, who in October completed his first Chicago Marathon in four hours, 15 minutes and 11 seconds. In this column, written just before he ran the marathon, 38-year-old Pickett -- who was infected with HIV in 1995 -- talks about the heaven and hell (OK, mostly the hell) of marathon training.

Discover the ambitious "3 x 5 Initiative" -- a goal to treat 3 million by 2005.

Visit the, a complete resource for HIV/AIDS info...

...and check out what's new there, including the odd pairing of Nelson Mandela and Brad Pitt in the fight against AIDS in South Africa.

Visit the UNAIDS site - the main advocate for global action.

Here's a very interesting moving timeline of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, from 1980 to the present - and be sure to watch that bottom bar (the number of people living with HIV/AIDS) move.

And while we're in education mode, did you know that there are actually doctors and pharmacies in the U.S. who will not prescribe/fill birth control pill prescriptions? Read Ann Regentin's recent article in Clean Sheets on the erosion of birth control choice in America.

Visit the Condomania store often.

...and then check out the lovely art of Adriana Bertini's condom fashions.

Finally, there are a dozen different ways to donate, right here.

November 29, 2004


From an interesting interview with Jeanette Winterson (Written on the Body):

There is a yarn about Winterson involving saucepans. In 1997, to much attendant media moistness, she divulged that, when she first arrived in London as a boyish twentysomething, she serviced frustrated married women from the Home Counties in hotel rooms off Knightsbridge and Sloane Square. Having minimal access to the hard stuff, they paid her in Le Creuset.

The hilarity - of the story, of the telling of the story - tickles her still. "That was funny. It got blown up out of all proportion, but it was such a good story!" The kernel is true, she concedes, before adding, tantalisingly, "and I do have an awful lot of pans. Even now, if we get a big one with risotto stuck to the bottom, I say to Peggy, 'You've no idea how hard I had to work for that, and look what you've done to it...' - and I get biffed. It got all dressed up as lesbian prostitution, which it really wasn't. It was simply to do with a very strange and particular time which couldn't happen now, with ladies leading double lives. I was very young. They just wanted to buy me presents, and I needed cookware."

Read the rest here.

November 24, 2004


Beautiful body painting is definitely something we're thankful for!

November 19, 2004


Just try not to snicker...

Hostettler Mounting Campaign to Change The Name of Interstate 69

John Hostettler, the Congressman representing the 8th district of Indiana, has been convinced by local religious groups to introduce legislation in the House that would change the name of an Interstate 69 extension to a more moral sounding number.

There are plans to extend the interstate from Indianapolis through southwestern Indiana all the way through Texas into Mexico in the coming years. While most believe this highway will be good for the state’s economy, religious conservatives believe “I-69” sounds too risqué and want to change the interstate’s number.

Hostettler, a proponent of the interstate extension, agrees. "Every time I have been out in the public with an ‘I-69’ button on my lapel, teenagers point and snicker at it. I have had many ask me if they can have my button. I believe it is time to change the name of the highway. It is the moral thing to do."

Read the rest here

Notified that this story is not true, and has created a bit of havoc for Congressman John Hostettler's office, it's still funny that it seems entirely possible in today's strange, uptight American world.

November 15, 2004


on the Web

Be sure to drop in and bookmark Susie Bright's brand new journal - as always, she's full of interesting writing and great attitude!

November 9, 2004


Auburn Hills, Michigan

above me
her hair tints
   the full moon red

October 31, 2004


spooky times

A few Halloween tales from the archives,... and then some of the truly spooky things in our world are satirized in the finale of the Clean Sheets Sex & Politics month!

Here are the Sex & Politics rants & raves, sorted by character and desire:

On Kerry/Edwards:

Run for Orifice - Lydia Grand

Hope is on the Way - Susannah Indigo

On Laura Bush:

The New Laura - M. Riley

On Condoleeza:

Condoleeza Doesn't Like It - Bridget Cannon

On fucking presidents in general:

How To Fuck a President So It Means Something - Martha Garvey

On Monica & Chandra & those powerful men:

A Love Drive-By - Susan St. Aubin

On Janet Jackson and terror:

For Janet - Shon Richards

On Love and War, and other passions political:

Love and War - Kara Noel

P.S. - Margaret Pritchard

Vicarious - Lee Skinner

The Private Members' Bill - Lisette Ashton

For gay marriage...or not:

Matrimony - Shannon Kizzia

The Story of an Almost Marriage - by Robert Taylor

The Prong of Permanency - by Cheryl Clarke

On choice and words and freedom:

Beyond Condoms: The Erosion of Choice in America - by Ann Regentin

The Feminist Cunt - by Cervo

Feminism and the Submissive Woman - by Kayla Kuffs

The Zen of BDSM - by Jean Roberta

October 25, 2004

at the movies

Go see Shall We Dance! This is one sexy movie...with no actual sex scenes. Love, passion, despair, humor, optimism, dancing, Richard Gere, and J.Lo's ass shaking things up -- what more could you want? The critics have been less than kind to this film, we'll assume because J.Lo's in it, but they're completely wrong -- it's great storytelling with great visuals, a definite must-see for anyone with a love of things sensual.

October 21, 2004

falafel sandwich

what women don't want

Fortunately at Clean Sheets we specialize in only good sex writing contests. And then there's Bill O'Reilly, who has inspired more than a few "Bad Sex Writing" contests, based on his, well, bad sex writing, in a novel called Those Who Trespass. But who knew that he hadn't even gotten near the real kink, leaving out the falaphilia?

The pertinent part of the sexual harassment complaint:

"...Well, if I took you down there then I'd want to take a shower with you right away, that would be the first thing I'd do...yeah, we'd check into the room, and we would order up some room service and uh and you'd definitely get two wines into you as quickly as I could get into you I would get 'em into you ... maybe intravenously get those glasses of wine into you ...

"You would basically be in the shower and then I would come in and I'd join you and you would have your back to me and I would take that little loofa thing and kinda' soap up your back ... rub it all over you, get you to relax, hot water....and know, you'd feel the tension drain out of you and uh you still would be with your back to me then I would kinda' put my arm -- it's one of those mitts those loofa mitts you know, so I got my hands in it...and I would put it around front, kinda' rub your tummy a little bit with it, and then with my other hand I would start to massage your boobs, get your nipples really hard ... 'cuz I like that and you have really spectacular boobs ...

"So anyway I'd be rubbing your big boobs and getting your nipples really hard, kinda' kissing your neck from behind...and then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I'd put it on your pussy but you'd have to do it really light, just kind of a tease business ..."

October 14, 2004

Oprah Slaps Bush -- With 30 states poised to smack down women's rights again, the one true savior emerges

There was Oprah, doing what she does so freakishly well, cheerleading and extolling and impressing upon, getting women up and getting them angry and demanding that they exercise their hard-won right to vote and demanding that they quit dissing their feminist ancestors, the ones who worked so damn hard for suffrage and for freedom of choice and for the right to tell powerful white sexist Republican men where they can shove their repressive sexist antichoice bigotry.

This was her fabulous, much-needed message: Take your rights for granted at your peril, ladies. Move, or else. Choose how you want the laws to treat and respect you and your body -- or someone else, someone who hasn't touched a vagina for 30 years and who thinks sex is only tolerable in the dark, fully clothed and with a respectable prostitute, will choose for you.

Sound like a cliché? Same ol' quasi-feminist rally message? Not exactly. Not this time. Just imagine this:

Imagine Bush filches another election in November. Nations mourn, black clouds gather, children cry, colons spasm, the remaining shreds of the American experiment wither and die.

And within a very short time, as many as 30 U.S. states have recriminalized abortion and made repressing women and hating sex fun again, as young American females everywhere who thought their right to choose was pretty much incontrovertible and indisputable and unfailing and who therefore didn't bother to vote in '00 or '04 suddenly go, oh holy freaking hell.

Hello, 1950s. Hello, coat-hanger surgery. Hello, millions of despondent daughters of uptight parents. Hello, dead or mutilated teenage girls who suffer botched procedures. Hello, a fresh national nightmare, revisited, regurgitated, reborn. And hello again to smug right-wing males who've wanted to put women back in their place for the past 50 years. Check that: 200 years. Check that: forever.

Just a silly nightmare? Utterly impossible? A ridiculous liberal daydream? Not even close, sweetheart.

It's all about the Supreme Court, of course. Fact is, our next president will almost surely get to appoint a number of new high-court justices to replace those who will likely retire after enduring Bush's toxic first term. They hung in there, these few -- especially progressive stalwart Sandra Day O'Connor and moderate, pro-choice John Paul Stevens -- hoping to disallow the nation's highest judiciary from becoming overly stacked with homophobic self-righteous right-wing neocon wingnuts (hi, Justice Scalia!) who would have us revert -- morally, sexually, spiritually, misogynistically -- to 1953. Check that: 1853. Check that: 1353.

With the exception of nearly useless neoconservative sycophant Clarence Thomas, not a single justice now serving on the court is under 65. Many insiders say Stevens, O'Connor and bitter old man William Rehnquist (almost 80) are all likely to retire before 2008. BushCo's chosen replacements could easily tip the scales of the court the other direction, from its very precarious 5-4 progressive tilt to a very sneering 6-3 conservative one, a court that would then very easily overturn parts or even all of Roe v. Wade. Talk about a malicious legacy.

It gets worse. It gets nastier, more widespread. Because should Shrub swipe another term, he will also be on his way to naming more federal trial and appeals judges -- hundreds, by most counts -- than either Clinton or Reagan, the last two-term presidents. Bush could, in short and for all intents and purposes, stack the nation's courts with enough neoconservative, antichoice, antiwomen crusaders to make Strom Thurmond giggle in his grave.

Which brings us straight back to Oprah. Say what you will about the often weirdly effusive and overtly gushy and often slightly smarmy woman who just gave away 276 Pontiacs to her entire studio audience (hard to tell if that was an act of astounding generosity and beneficence, or some sort of weird punishment -- I mean, they were Pontiacs), but the woman can electrify and inspire and educate her millions of devoted viewers like nobody's business.

And if there's one famously disenfranchised and alienated and apathetic voting bloc that needs to get off its collective yoga butt and stand up and make itself known this election lest it lose an even larger chunk of its basic human rights than it even realizes, it's youngish women.

This is, after all, what so many women don't seem to know. That the Bush administration has already, in just a few short years, managed to roll back a truly astounding number of their basic rights, making it more difficult, for example, for doctors to perform abortions, or making it illegal for schools to discuss contraception or for hospitals to discuss pregnancy-termination options.

From demeaning and ineffectual abstinence-only programs to biased counseling to cutting all funding for international women's health organizations that provide care to poor women in third-world nations (hell, Bush hacked that one away in his first month in office), Dubya has done more than any president in the last 100 years to smack women upside their sexually empowered heads.

Oh and by the way, that suggestion currently being floated by some in the GOP that the Iraq war has become so nasty and desperate that we might very well need to reinstate the military draft? That draft includes young women. And oh yes, Bush has already upheld the ban on abortions for servicewomen stationed overseas, even if they were raped, even if they pay for it themselves. Feeling patriotic yet?

This has been the GOP's message to women since, well, forever: Be like Laura Bush -- submissive, matronly, heavily shellacked and ever flashing a disquieting mannequin grin, off in the corner reading stories to the kids and cutting lots of pretty ceremonial ribbons and keeping quiet about the Important Stuff and never having sex and always be standing just out of the spotlight, secondary and inferior and in the background. You know, right where you belong...

From (The San Francisco Chronicle) -- read the rest of Mark Morford's column here.

October 12, 2004

on the Web

Sex for Voters only: Have sex with a voter on election night, and withhold sex from non-voters.... see the details at Votergasm.

October 7, 2004

vote for sex!

right here in Clean Sheets!

It's October, and maybe you're tired of politics already -- but wouldn't it be nice to hear about nothing but sex in our politics? That's exactly what we haves in store for you during the next four weeks! We have ten winners from our erotic writing contest, with topics ranging from Condoleeza's ass, to how to fuck a president so it means something, to the new erotic terror-alert colors! We're also bringing you serious articles about sexual/political issues, including the submission/feminism conflict, gay marraige, freedom of speech, and other hot topics. All of this is wrapped within our normal erotic content of poetry, exotica, a new Violet chapter, and a beautiful Susan St. Aubin story in fiction about Monica and Chandra and the girls who have loved powerful men.

October 3, 2004


Gay marriage comes to Springfield! The long-awaited coming-out-of-the-closet gay Simpsons character is...

click here only if you want to know!

October 1, 2004

John Kerry

hope is on the way (and sexy, to boot!)

September 27, 2004

And you thought you knew what cybersex was!...check out the Sinulator, the new sex toy that hooks up to your computer and lets it be controlled by someone far away. Sounds like a good concept... maybe...but what do women love most about cybersex? Informal survey of my girlfriends is unanimous -- it's the words, the language, the atention, the focus, you know, all those things that tend to be missing with too many men in real life!

September 16, 2004

I can't be the only person who can barely stand to be in a room with someone of the opposite political leanings this season, never mind date them, or lust after them...but help is on the way -- left & right & even "green" online personals sites abound!

Act For Love
Liberal Hearts
Republican Singles