Review by Shanna Germain
(12/19/01)
Want to truly please your sweetheart this holiday season? I
mean to the point where she's promising to give you anything if
you'll just let her open that pretty box beneath the tree? Then make
sure you give her the gift she really wants. And, no, it's not the
cock-shaped Chia Pet (although that can be a fun centerpiece at
holiday parties). It's something a little more stimulating.
Something just a little longer and harder and more energetic
than...well, you get the picture.
But how do you choose the perfect vibrator for your loving
sweetheart? It's easy -– we've reviewed some of this year's top
models so you can be sure to give your girl the one vibe that will
really jingle her bell.
Put a Little Ho-Ho-Ho in her Go-Go-Go...
Who invented this little piece of pleasure, and why aren't
there more like it? The Fukuoku 9000 slides over your (or her)
finger, vibrates about a mile a minute, and fits neatly into all
those little crevices where the big guys fear to tread. Not only
that, but it comes with three different stimulation tips, two sets
of batteries and its very own carrying case.
And, for such a little guy, it packs a lot of punch.
According to the box, it packs 9000 vibrations per minute to be
exact. It's strong enough to be used by itself, but it also adds a
special little tingle when used with one of the larger vibes as
well. The least intimidating of the bunch, it also works well as an
initiation tool for those who might be a little unsure about the
vibrator experience. And guys, if you ask nice, I'm sure she'll
share with you.
Do be careful, though, as the tiny parts tend to find
themselves in mysterious places around the house, and it's never a
good thing having to explain to the cable guy (or your mom) what
that little ring shaped thingy is, and why it's in the silverware
drawer.
If you only buy one vibrator this year, this should be it. Ringing
in just under $25, it's the gift that's sure to satisfy.
She's Dreaming of a Wet Christmas...
The Aqua Allstar is a fun little piece for water play.
Everything mechanical is completely waterproof, so you can dunk this
toy in the tub or share it in the shower without any worries. It
makes a good bed toy too, and is just the right combination of firm
and flexible, of pretty and powerful (my partner says he likes it
because it looks "organic" but I think it's really the bright purple
that turns him on).
With dual motors -– one in the shaft and one in the flexible,
well-positioned nub -– it has excellent clitoral stimulation (or you can
turn it around, and add the Fukuoku 9000 to the mix to hit all those
hot spots). It's also good for partner play, because there's enough
of a shaft to actually hold onto, and it's flexible enough that the
wrong angle doesn't become the "ow -- wrong angle!"
Another steal for under $25 bucks, and it's sure to be the gift that
keeps on giving...and giving...and giving...
She's Dreaming of a White Christmas...
The Glitter Rocket vibrator is a good gift for anyone who's been
transplanted from the land of snow to, well, anywhere else, and is
yearning for those pretty little flakes that say Christmas. The
Glitter Rocket is just what it sounds like -– a silver vibrator with a
clear "snow dome" in the middle of it. The dome is filled with
glitter that swirls into a snowstorm when it vibrates, and is sure
to bring on a flurry of pleasure.
This is maybe not a toy for beginners however -– it really is a long,
hard torpedo, which can be intimidating for some. Still, although
it's not as flexible as some vibes I've worked with, it's a good toy
for visual play -– watching or being watched -– or to stick in the
fridge for that fresh, wintry feeling. Or you may just want to set
it on the desk to add some sparkle to those long, winter-weary
afternoons.
Ringing in at just over $20, this is one of the few vibrators that
will actually fit under the limit at the office Christmas party.
Just be sure it's one of those ones where you get to take your own
gift back if no one else wants it.
Forecast A Joyous New Year...
The AstroVibrator, designed by the German company,
FunFactory, is a unique idea -– there are twelve vibrators in this
line, each one a different astrological sign. Brightly colored, with
a soft, yet firm texture (similar to those stress-relief balls),
each one comes with its own sex horoscope booklet. It's fun just to
see how they've turned each sign, from Cancer to Pisces to Libra,
into a workable vibrator. For example, the Aries Vibe is a "fiery
red" ram who "always needs a hint of adventure and is just as
charming as he is bluntly direct." Or my favorite, Libra, a lime
green woman-vibrator (so many of them seem to be men) who "likes to
be inspired by music and good conversations."
One of the best things about this gift is that you'll be able to
crank it up on Christmas morning if you get the hankering -- each
vibe comes with its own set of batteries and a small pack of lube.
Now why can't all companies do that?
This is also a great gift idea for that special friend -- you
know the one, who would never, ever, buy or want a vibrator, but
whom you know desperately needs one. Now, you can give her this
horoscope vibrator as a gag gift, and what she does with it after
that will be up to her.
Although the AstroVibrator will set you back about $50 bucks, it's a
small price to pay for a forecast that promises more sex in the near
future.
