First off, while they're sharp enough to puncture flesh, they aren't designed to be used that way. Invented by cranky American neurologist Robert Wartenberg (1887-1956), a man noted for his punctilious criticism and objection to eponyms, this rotating pinwheel is a bona fide medical instrument, designed to test skin sensitivity, as in "Can you feel this?"

Applied with the lightest possible pressure, only its own weight bearing against the flesh, it's perfectly safe to use for sensuous stimulation anywhere on the human body except the eyeballs, leaving no trace and producing squirm-inducing sensations somewhere in the maddening range between an itch and a tickle.

People whose romantic invitations tend toward "Your dungeon or mine?" adore these devilish little devices because they're extremely effective when applied to previously warmed posteriors, providing a nice interlude from impact play. Prepare your favorite bottom with a sound spanking, paddling, strapping, or caning, and then pause. Watch your victim's ears prick up for the telltale clink that announces your pinwheel (or pinwheels -- using two at a time doubles the fun) is on its way out of your toybag and about to further excruciate all that nice, red, tender flesh. Hardcore masochists who can take a caning without restraint and without flinching often need to be securely fastened when those twenty-two sharp points start gently rolling over their welts.

Which is not to say that a preliminary beating is necessary to enjoy this clever toy. The pinwheel can manage an entire scene on its own. Bind your play partner spread-eagle, face-down or face-up, as you choose. Or employ honors bondage, extracting a promise from your slave-for-a-night not to move from their designated position, on pain of forfeiting a post-scene orgasmic release. A blindfold is key, so your victim cannot anticipate which body part you'll choose to stimulate next.

Be creative in applying those little spinning needles. Ears are fun to go after, as are noses, nipples (clamped or unclamped), underarms, fingers, toes, the scalp, and the throat. How 'bout politely requesting of your victim: "Stick out your tongue?" And that's even before you get to the genitals, where the possibilities are endless. The perineum, between the anus and sex organs, is a prime spot to torture on your way to paydirt: a woman's clit or a man's cock, which is with any luck tumescently cringing by now. Of course the most excruciating spot on a male body is the underside of the glans, just below the cockhead. When the pinwheel is applied there gently, there's no harm, no foul, but don't be surprised if he writhes violently away and screams like a sissy. Only one thing to do: administer a stern warning, get a good grip on that rampant member (possible stroking it back to fullness, if necessary) and repeat the treatment until he can take it like a man.

A standard Wartenberg Wheel is made of stainless steel and measures 7 1/2 inches long, with the rotating pinwheel portion about 1 1/8 inches in diameter, spike to spike. The handle is offset so it's easy to run the spikes along quailing flesh without brushing it with your fingers -- that would invalidate the experiment, don't you see? Its small size makes it very convenient to try out on yourself first, getting a good feel for the proper amount of pressure as well as how it feels on the receiving end, before inflicting it on a friend. To avoid non-consensually encountering those sharp points, you'll want to keep it in a sheath in your toybag. Otherwise, when you reach in for it, you'll always run into the sharp end first. Being all-steel, this instrument can be easily sterilized, just in case you enjoy blood sports, or in case you're responsible about using the same toy on multiple partners.

If recreational sadomasochism has one fundamental goal, it's not being safe, sane, and consensual; it's not attaining spiritual catharsis; it's maximizing sensation over damage, so you can play another day. Applied with care, Toys in Babeland's Pinwheel can make anybody confess to anything, without leaving a mark. It's your central nervous system -- play with it. Hours of agony? Hours of joy!

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