Reviewed by Shanna Germain
(03/21/01)
There's a wire that runs right from the very tip of my nips to the very tip of my penis. Suck on one and the other gets hard.
A pillow under your hips can bring a smile to your lips.
I masturbate whenever I think about a girl's painted toes.
I'll admit it: I'm something of a voyeur. Now before you get all excited, let me clarify that to say that I'm a voyeur mainly through the written word. I like to read about other people's sex lives. I want to know when, where, how much, how often, with what, and if they moan or groan or squeal.
Now I'm sure, that since you're reading this review on an erotic website, you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. But if you do, then you'll know how...interesting...it can be to learn about other people's habits in the bedroom.
In Isadora Alman's book, Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex, she not only opens the bedroom door, but she invites us all in for a closer view of how real people are having sex. Alman, a licensed therapist and certified sexologist, is the author of Ask Isadora, an advice column that runs in the San Francisco Bay Guardian. In Doing It, Alman has collected the thoughts, experiences, stories and advice that she has received in response to her column over the years.
"You will not be reading in this book the voice of one sex expert with whom you can agree or not and whose life experiences you may not share," Alman writes. "Instead men and women of all ages and persuasions let you in on what they think are the important details of sexual happiness."
Organized into sections such as Solo Sex, Anal Play, Coupling and The Single State, Doing It offers a look at the sex lives and loves of a huge cross-culture of individuals. From the man who found that a using a penis pump really did increase his size, to the woman who masturbates in the kitchen, this book is a voyeur's delight. And, despite the fact that I've been having sex for years, and have been reading about sex for nearly as long, this book made me realize that I still have much to learn and try.
Whether you are an old hand at sex, or just starting out, there is much to learn within the pages, where contributors offer advice on everything from dealing with being single to keeping everything lubed up. One writer gives men a list of things NOT to do if they are in the process of trying to find a mate.
"Men who reek of cheap cologne and use lame lines to hit on women. Men whose eyes undress every other woman in the vicinity as he's talking to me. Men who talk to my breasts (although if I'm married to that man this is perfectly acceptable, especially if he says, 'And are you two happy today?'). And yes, of course, men who run down their last partner."
And, until I read this book, I had no idea there were so many wonderful ways to deal with that age-old sexual problem of the dreaded Wet Spot. Diaper wipes, dirty sheets, warm washcloths -- one writer even offered a cross-cultural wet spot solution.
"In England, it's part of the post-sex ritual for many guys that they have to clean everything up for the lady, using tissue in the operational areas. Seems to be accepted that it's his responsibility. Kind of a nice, loving touch, I think."
But, don't believe everything you read; there are some stories in Doing It that are so funny or bizarre that it's impossible not to question their truth. Even Alman admits that some of the entries are so outrageous that they may be put-ons. Still others have a ring of honesty that makes you want to believe. (And by the way, if the author of this passage would like to contact me privately, I'd be more than happy to help prove its validity. For the readers' peace of mind only, of course).
"My boyfriend told me he could suck himself off. The idea was both fascinating and arousing to me. I convinced him to do it while I watched. He can, indeed, at thirty-eight and not in very good physical shape, manage to give himself head. He positioned himself on the bed with his back against the headboard and brought his feet over his head to the bed. In this position, it was possible for him to take the head of the penis in his mouth and suck and stimulate it enough to reach orgasm....
Because this book is laid out in bite-sized chunks, it is the perfect read for the bathroom or standing in line. It is also the perfect gift for any teenager (or older) who is asking that eternal question of "am I sexually normal?" After reading the responses in this book, they will have no doubt that sexual normalcy needs a much broader definition than the one which is currently bandied about in today's society.
From circumcision to cross-dressing, Doing It touches on nearly every sexual question that has ever been asked. Does penis size matter? What do rose pruners have to do with sex? Does the fact that I drive like an idiot really turn women off?
The answers in Doing It will surprise you, delight you, and, if you're at all voyeuristic like me, I guarantee they'll excite you as well.
