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Night Stanzas

When I was a young girl

by Cyndi K. Gacosta

When I was a young girl
I fell in love with another
a girl of ten I never got to touch,
so, from a bench, I watched
with her laughter strung around
my heart.

Later I learned that she became
our school's nymphomaniac,
a rumor spread wide as far as
her legs could stretch,
from n. pole to s. pole
And yet I thought of her,
and dreamt of her
for many more years,

even as I came across a second love,
another girl I never got to touch,
so, from far away, I watched
with her sighs curled around
my finger

then I met a veteran soldier,
who sat on suicide's edge.
He was the first I've touched
& sucked.

He had a bit of pungency
in every creamy drop

that spilled out from
my mouth as if it were
spoiled milk left out
in the sun.
When we tumbled
in the dark, I imagined
it was a blend of them

whose buttons I unbuttoned
& whose zippers I unzipped,
mouths I kissed then ravished
nipples I licked then sucked.

It was their moans I heard,
not his in my ears.

It was their gasps I inhaled,
not his in my mouth, but

by the end of the night
it was him beside me,
naked and well spent,

yet my thoughts still
lingered on them.

I miss you...

I miss you growing in my mouth;
harder and hotter, oh my kiss

I miss you collapsing into my arms;
sweaty shivering heap of man, my love

I miss you laughing in the dark;
a touch of moonlight on your cheek

I miss you sighing on my neck;
anyplace and anytime, we embrace

Most of all I miss you waking beside me;
your smell and heat in the damp sheets

I hold on and I breathe in what I'm missing

©2014 by Cyndi K. Gacosta


Reader Comments

Cyndi Gacosta was born and raised in San Diego, California. She spent a few years of her early childhood in Sorsogon, Philippines. She studied literature at UC Santa Cruz. Her work has appeared in other literary journals such as The Walrus, Monongahela Review, The Toucan, Vanilla, and Skive Magazine. She lived and worked in Seoul, Korea as a teacher, but returned to the States for graduate studies.


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