by M. Woodhouse
(12/03/03)
This is your first time having sex with a penis. You've grown it carefully, studying pictures for a whole afternoon, ensuring the vas deferens and ejaculatory duct are in the right place. You've even included balls and a prostate. You've checked you have the correct number of nerve endings (about four thousand), and it’s softer and more sensitive than a finger. Perhaps just because it's new.
Now she's arrived from her tiny house in Whitianga and she's in your bed at last, and you're not sure how to... activate it.
She laughs and plucks at your nipples gently. "What did you grow that for, girl?"
"A change?" you say, but now you’re doubtful. What is it for? What's it doing in your bed? On your body?
You've been aware of it since you put it there. It shifted in your pants when you walked. It bulged. Your trousers weren't designed to accommodate it, so you had to wear a skirt.
You tried peeing through it, standing, legs apart, though mostly you've found you prefer the traditional girl way. Habit. And you masturbated once, almost by accident. When you thought about her arriving and you wistfully wished she was here already. Your hand wandered instinctively to your clit and instead encountered... it. It's a foreign body. It doesn't belong. Perhaps you should give it a name to make it feel more welcome? How about Jake? You squeezed too tight -- Ow! -- and then loosened, slid, beat off in a rush, goo and energy and sparks flying, thoughts of her roughly pushed aside by new sensations and the excitement of holding it, pointing it wherever you want. Turning yourself on.
Oh, of course, you've turned yourself on before. This is different. Novelty. And naughty. What, you think in mock-outrage, oh what would your mother say?
Or your lesbian separatist ex-girlfriend?
But now the novelty is a distraction. You have performance anxiety. You want to show your lover why you've grown this thing -- because it's fun, a toy, a new way of pleasuring her. Kinky, but at the same time natural and wholesome. Why, all over the world people are using these. There must be something to it.
You're inexperienced. It's your first time. Can you keep it up? Will you even be able to get it up?
She sees your frown of concentration. "Hullo?" She bites your knee gently. "Pay attention. Forget that, that thing."
"Jake."
"Huh?" She looks at you. "Yeah, whatever. Forget it. If it gets hard, we'll use it. Otherwise, we can have fun anyway. Don't be all hung up..."
So you lie together, and you try not to think about it. Instead you focus on her. Her breasts heavy against you, her nipples hardening. Her tongue on your lips, and her nose pressed against the hollow of your throat. Her fingers rubbing the base of your spine, and stroking the smooth curve of your waist. Holding your hipbone as she pulls you closer. Nuzzling her hands between your thighs. Scratching your shoulder blade. Tightening. Fingers weaving into your own.
You're both more buoyant than usual -- sometimes sex is too gravitated, elbows leaning heavily, knees digging, arms squashed. This is deliciously light -- like a sponge cake. With your penis pressed between you.
"Oh, God," you groan, and then you notice. "Hey, it's hard! You're so sexy."
She leans back and looks at it. "What do you wanna do with it?"
Jake is practically talking to you, a low guttural language: hot, wet movement; slippery heat. Want want want. He's all about the want.
"Um." You're almost too shy to say it. "Can I, uh, fuck you? I'd..." You bury your face in her neck and wait for embarrassment to subside. Jake nags at your groin. "Would you like to...?"
"We-ell. You'd have to be careful. I don't wanna get thrush --"
"It's very clean."
"-- or pregnant."
"Jeez, I'm still a girl!"
"I'm just sayin'." She takes pity on you. "Mmmaybe," she says. "I have to get to know this thing first though." Her hands slide down your back, leaving trails of warm. She sucks on a nipple till you writhe, then moves further down, skirting your pubic hair, until she's face-to-slit with it. Jake quivers nervously and the two of you wait for her verdict.
She licks it experimentally. And boy, does it like it. You like it. Warmth blushes through your pelvis. You tingle. Jake swells. She licks again. "It tastes funny," she says.
"Apparently the flavour can change depending on what I've been eating," you say.
"So what have you been eating?"
"Lots of chocolate."
She laughs.
"What? I was missing you!"
Still grinning, she licks it again. "It doesn't taste like chocolate."
"Come here." And you reach down and pull her up into your arms, rolling on top of her in a tangle of legs, your bodies pushing into each other, Jake whimpering silently between her thighs.
You run your hand down her leg, and up. Is she wet? Oh yeah. Her cunt is swollen. You need to taste it. Jake needs to bury himself there. You fight it out and Jake wins with an ease that makes you nervous. Novelty value, you assure yourself, and then you stop thinking. You kiss her and ask, "Okay?"
She presses against you. "Let's do it."
Oh God, she wants it too. You're so turned on you're seeing colours. You kneel between her legs and lean towards her, your penis bumping against her, first too high, then lower, where it's warm and wet. Jake throbs in anticipation. And then her cunt gives, takes him in, swallows him, and your eyes roll back in your head, it's so good.
You focused yourself on the sensation, the sliding heat, barely aware of the rest of your body, which is trying to slow down. A small part of your brain is organising the movement, the rubbing in and out, adjusting the angle, bracing your knees, checking her responses.
You kiss her absently. The rest of your attention -- 95 percent -- is there inside her, thrumming with pleasure and squirming with hedonistic selfish delight. You're so into it, you're becoming Jake.
When you realise that, you stop moving. "This is so fucking weird."
"Mmmmph."
"It's like...." You kiss her, noticing once again how much you love her eyebrows, which are slightly lopsided. "It's like, you know when you bang your finger and it hurts, but if you distance yourself from it you can bear it. Because it's almost separate from you? Like, you can mentally remove your arm from yourself? Disassociate? But if it's a headache you can't, because it's there inside you, where you're trying to disassociate to. You know?"
"Sort of."
"Well, it's like that. Having a penis. It moves the sensation out of my body. I mean it isn't, and I'm so into it I can barely... barely... anything. I'm amazed I can even..."
"You're talking an awful lot for someone who can barely." She's on edge, voice husky with impatience.
"That's the thing. I can move into it or out of it. Like with the clit, when you're going down on me, sometimes it's too intense. I have to stop. Because it's there, inside me, with me. But this, the focus is outward, pushing into you, expelling energy. It makes it easier. I wonder if anyone's ever studied..."
She wriggles impatiently beneath you. "Grrrrr! Stop talking, would you, or we'll turn into that dreadful couple in Before Sunrise -- all that analyzing and theorising."
"But isn't it interesting?"
"Can we fuck now?"
You look down. "Oops. I guess all my blood's gone to my brain."
You sit back on your heels. "Perhaps I should just --" And you reach down and take it off.
"I was just starting to like that," she says, but you bury your face in her cunt and eat her, and she says, "Uh, never mind... God..."
You raise your head wickedly. "If I'd had more sense I would've grown it on my chin."
"You still have fingers," she points out. "Fingers are good." She gasps as you take her point.
While you're eating her, you're still thinking about Jake. You can't help it. So when she comes it takes you by surprise, pulls you back to reality, to the taste and tremors of her. She cries out long and loud, muffling the sound in your pillow. Her body stiffens and quivers, and then slumps.
"My throat," she grimaces.
You grin. She always screams herself hoarse. You find it gratifying and try not to think about the neighbours. You move up to hold her, proud, and then you check in with your own nervous system. There's something missing, as though nerve endings have gone to sleep. You're turned on, but in a way you don't recognise. You glance at Jake and it's semi-erect. Weird. Reach out a hand but before you get there --
"My turn," she says. Her fingers close around Jake on the bedside table and, unexpectedly, you feel them. Disconnected but still resonating in your body.
"Oh, this is --" You start to explain.
"No talking," she says firmly. "You'll get distracted again."
And then she puts on Jake, just slips it on, and it's hard now, and you can feel her fingers on it as though it's still joined to you. Your cunt tickles with juices, you're so overwhelmed by the feel of it, by mutual anticipation.
You groan and roll onto your back. "Take me," you beg, like the heroine of a bodice ripper. "Pleeeease."
Squinting with concentration, she moves over you, takes your cock and gently slowly pushes it all the way into your pussy.
More! you want to shout. Harder! Oh God! but she has that look. No talking, she said. You mmmfph instead, begging with your hands.
You're flooding. You can feel Jake -- the hot tingle of your cunt against him, his eagerness and taut need -- and at the same time you're you, so wet, so much tension building, legs wide as you welcome him in.
You grasp her shoulders. "Fffuuu --"
With every movement you're overwhelmed. You force yourself to relax, let it wash over you. If you think about it, it's too intense. For the first time in your life you try to stave off coming, to let it build more. The heat is like a furnace, radiating as far as your stomach now. Your arms are heavy, your legs stretched flat. You tilt your hips up to greet her but other than that you're completely at her mercy. You feel your face, your breasts flush pink.
She tries to suck your nipples while she fucks you but she can't get the angle right. "Practice," she says ruefully. "You okay?"
You nod. "Don't stop," you mouth, unable to form words. Suffused, you think. I am suffused with heat and sex.
The second after you think that, everything changes. Builds. Darkness and fire flare up. You feel Jake shift into overdrive, into the tightness before explosion. Everything is superlative now. He wants to shoot you full of come, to release it into you. And you want to milk it out of him. You're focusing, your ache welling, your knowledge of him -- her -- inside you so intense it hurts. And you can't stop. Nothing could make you. Jake and your cunt driving into each other, rough, desperate as outlaws. You breath faster, hands clenching the sheets. "Mmmrrrrrmmfff," you tell her, your jaw too tight to talk. And then the lights go out entirely. Jake lets fly and you see stars. Waves of flame wash over you. You become molten, fuse...and let go.
You're floating. It's dark. There are constellations. Everything contracts, pulses.
You settle back onto the bed with a full-body sigh. She wraps her arms around you.
Later she says, "The three of us make quite a team."
"I don't know...he's kind of bossy."
"Like I'm not," she scoffs, and quotes herself, "'Don't talk!'"
You laugh. "Well, y'know, if we both like having him around..."
"When did he stop being an 'it'?"
"Huh." You shake your head. "I dunno. He just..." Your kisses are deep and loving.
"I guess we're in a three-way relationship now." She grins slyly, and adds, "Though, hmmm, maybe he should stay in the closet most of the time."
You hug her fiercely, your fingers stroking words of love into her back. The two of you entwined, and Jake curled up alone on the bedside table.