by Big Ed Magusson
(02/03/10)

I never intended to be a voyeur, and if the baby hadn't been colicky, I wouldn't have been. But now...now I don't know what to think.

After all, who expects to be a voyeur at two a.m. in the sleepy suburbs? That night, all I'd been thinking about was when I could get back to bed. When I was thinking at all. My son's colic was in full sway and life had been reduced to scream after scream after scream. I bounced him. I walked him. I stroked his back and rubbed his belly. I wore a track in the rug walking around and around and around. All I wanted was for him to fall asleep, so I could too.

Of course, I could have woken my wife, if his screams hadn't already done so. I suspected they had, and that she was intentionally turning a deaf ear, her head buried in her pillow. I didn't blame Karen -- the two months since William's birth had been particularly hard on her. He'd been a lazy eater, turning his middle-of-the-night nursings into mini-marathons. At least I could sleep then. Which is why she insisted I take colic duty, even if it had turned into a marathon all its own.

But as my older sister reminded me, "this too shall pass." My nephew had also been colicky, but he'd survived and was now the energetic terror of his preschool. When I'd complained...well, whined, really, she'd just smiled and told me that the colic wouldn't last forever and that even little babies would eventually sleep. And she was right, because that night sometime after 1:30, William's sobs turned to sniffles and then snores.

I was too disbelieving to quite trust it, so I continued to hold him and walk slowly through the darkened house. My nerves were too fried anyway, and the quiet night soothed them and gave me a chance to regain my sanity.

I was passing through the kitchen when I heard the laughter. That gave me pause. Since our modern suburb consisted of large houses on small plots of land, it wasn't unusual to hear the neighbors out in their yard. The distance to the fence was just tens of feet, after all. But it was unusual to hear anyone out so late. With small kids at just about every address, parties that lasted into the night were more memories than current fact. Except occasionally at Rod and Kim's.

I nodded, knowing that had to be it. Our back fence neighbors had installed a hot tub last fall and they'd had a few parties with their friends since. Not that they'd invited us, mind you, but we weren't particularly bothered. Rod and Kim were young and childless and ran in different circles. We really didn't have that much in common besides a fence and the sparse shade of a few elms. So we'd settled into that easy routine of chitchatting about trivialities when we were both outside and waving when we passed on the street. They didn't complain about the way I let the weeds go and I didn't begrudge them the occasional party.

Except that night...well that night, I kinda did. But it wasn't the noise, for there wasn't any, really. It was the envy. William had been born in late January and it had been a long, long journey to spring.

I tried to tell myself that it was silly to be jealous of Rod and Kim. I'd chosen my life and it was a good one, even with the colic. I had a great job and a great wife and a nice home in a good neighborhood. What was there to really be jealous of?

Except I knew. When a thump signaled the hot tub cover hitting the ground, I knew what I was so envious of -- those simple nights of carefree life. I wanted to laugh and drink and soak in a hot tub with friends.

Instead, I carried my son upstairs to his room and lowered him gently into his crib.

I'd just straightened up when I heard another giggle. Drifting to the window, I pushed the curtain aside and looked down on Rod and Kim's yard. At least I could daydream.

It turned out I could do more than that. Since the spring foliage was just starting to arrive, the bare trees didn't obscure my view of their deck. Nor the two people standing there, kissing.

At least that's what I thought they were doing. There wasn't quite enough light spilling from the house behind them to be sure. Just two bodies, standing oh so close in the shadows.

I leaned against the window sill, smiling at the memory of nights like that with Karen, before William arrived. Exhaustion had a way of sapping the passion, but I hadn't forgotten it.

As I watched my neighbors and daydreamed, her robe dropped to the deck, landing in a puddle of light. They didn't break their kiss, and if anything, became more energetic. Moments later, his robe joined hers. They pulled apart a bit, and she laughed, before they turned and strolled to the hot tub. They paused at the side, in one of the patches illuminated by the light spilling from their windows.

I gulped. While I couldn't see everything, I could see enough. They were both nude. Gloriously nude.

He helped her step into the tub and then passed her two wine glasses. Then, as she floated to the far dark side of the tub, he eased himself into the water.

I checked on William. He snored, oblivious to the world. I did an internal check and realized I was far more awake than I'd been two minutes ago. Just a quick glimpse of bare breasts had been enough to shove my thoughts of sleep aside.

The couple laughed, hidden in the shadows. He set his glass on the side of the tub in one of the less shaded patches. Her head had to be the darkened blur in the back corner. They continued to talk, with the occasional guffaw interspersed. They sounded like they were having fun, even though I couldn't make out the words.

Or could I?

I realized that if I cracked the window, I could probably hear their conversation. They certainly weren't whispering, and the night was otherwise still. It'd be eavesdropping, though, and I wasn't sure I wanted to be that guy who eavesdropped on his neighbors. Good neighbors didn't invade others' privacy.

Except...wasn't that just naïve? After all, it wasn't like I was going out of my way to listen. Heck, if it had been a bit warmer, I might have already had the window open. Rod and Kim certainly knew how close the houses were and how easy it was to see -- or hear -- what was going on in the next yard. They were no innocent babes. Why did I have to be?

I slowly flipped the latch and, as quietly as I could, eased the window open an inch. The couple's voices were clear, even if not too loud.

"That's so cool," she said. "I didn't know you could do that."

"What can I say, babe, I'm the best."

She giggled. "You always say that."

"But I'm right, aren't I? You love what I can do."

She giggled again.

"See, you think I'm the best."

I rolled my eyes. On the one hand, it was great that they could still flirt, even after being married for a few years. On the other hand, it was pretty cheesy.

"I dunno," she said, "But you might be in the top three."

"Top three! Ha! I'll show you top three."

He pushed through the water to her. She laughed and then her laughter was cut off. I couldn't see much in the shadows, but the silhouettes were close. Very close. I imagined they were kissing. I pulled the curtain wider and shifted this way and that, hoping to find an angle with a better view. I wasn't successful.

"Oh, Rod, keep doing that," she moaned.

Then their fuzzy silhouette got taller. He didn't speak. Could he be kissing her breasts? Whatever he was doing, he kept doing it for several minutes. Then with a shriek and a giggle, she pushed him away.

"C'mon babe," he said. "Sit on the edge."

She giggled. "Get me another drink first."

He let out an exaggerated sigh, but got out of the tub and dripped his way to the back door. She slid over to the lit side of the tub and watched him go.

I hope they stay there, I thought. I couldn't see her face, as her long hair cast shadows across her features, but at least she was more than a blob of blackness. She propped her elbows on the side and tilted her head, waiting.

"Here ya go, babe!" Rod said as he strutted back onto the deck. He raised the glass in his right hand, before taking a swig out of the one in his left. When he reached her, he made an exaggerated show of handing her the drink. She took a sip as he climbed in.

She stopped him before he could sink into the water. "You sit on the side."

He chuckled. "Anything you say, babe."

She backed up enough to allow him to settle comfortably on the side of the tub. Then she set the glass down and slid between his spread legs. He put his hands on the back of her head. From the way his arms moved, she must have been taking him deep.

I closed my eyes for a moment. It had been a long time since I'd had a blowjob. A long time for anything, actually. Thanks to some high-risk pregnancy complications, my wife had been forced to take bed rest during the last trimester and with our exhaustion these past two months since the birth...

Damn. It had been over five months since anyone but me had touched my cock.

And what made it worse was that our sex life had just started to get, well, exciting. Karen had bought a garter belt and stockings and we'd begun sharing fantasies. We'd even talked about making love outdoors under the stars sometime...

"Oh, babe," Rod moaned. "Your mouth is so fucking good."

Startled, I opened my eyes and looked out the window. Rod now leaned back, propping himself up on his hands. She still crouched between his thighs, but I couldn't quite make out what she was doing. Of course I didn't have to guess from the way he moaned and continually exclaimed how great her mouth was.

"I'm gonna come!" Rod said.

She pulled back. "Not until you show me you're the best."

He groaned and she giggled, but then he eased himself into the water and they traded places. She kicked the water a couple of times, making gentle splashes, before he placed her legs over his shoulder and moved his head to her pussy.

She leaned back and her breasts landed in one of the beams of light from the back windows. I gasped at my dumb luck. At the distance, I couldn't really make out her nipples, but I appreciated the curve of her flesh nonetheless.

I watched her chest as he licked her. Quiet and almost still, she didn't move much for several minutes. Then she clutched the side of the tub and stiffened, but still made no sound. Only the arch of her back announced her orgasm.

I let out my own breath. My pulse pounded and my cock almost throbbed as it pressed against my pajamas.

"You ready for the 'rod of pleasure,' babe?"

"Ooohhh..."

She lay back, not moving out of the beam of light that cascaded across her torso. He stood and pushed her thighs apart, stepping forward as she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him in.

I couldn't stand it. With trembling hands, I undid my pajamas and let them drop to my ankles. I slowly started stroking my cock as Rod began thrusting.

"Oh, babe," he said, "your pussy's so tight."

"That's because you're so big."

"Yeah," he said. "Tell me you want it."

"Oh, I want it."

"You want me to fuck you."

"Fuck me, oh fuck me."

I wanted to roll my eyes. When had this turned into a cheap porn movie? But my cock didn't care if it was cheesy -- it was live. I kept stroking myself as I watched. They kept talking dirty too, only stopping the two times she stiffened and clutched the deck, enjoying a silent orgasm.

After the second one, he flipped her over and screwed her doggy style. I couldn't see as well, but it didn't matter because they were narrating everything they were doing.

"I'm gonna come, babe."

"Oh, come Rod. Come."

"I'm gonna shoot all over your ass."

"Yeah, my ass. Come on my ass."

I beat him to it. It had just been too long since anything real had happened in my sex life, and watching them pushed me over the edge. With a groan, I exploded, sending semen all over the wall and the carpet.

Gasping, I closed my eyes and took a step to steady myself. Except my pajamas were still around my ankles, so I stumbled. Then I overcorrected and started to fall backward. Flailing, I grasped for anything I could.

Which was a bad move.

My hand found the crib. I managed to let go before I pulled it over, but as a result, I landed on my butt.

William stirred, and then howled.

I pulled my pajama bottoms on as fast as I could and stood up. Momentarily panicked about how I'd shaken the crib, I flipped the overhead light on. William was okay, but his lungs were at full force. I picked him up and started shushing and bouncing and trying to jiggle his head like we'd been taught in one of the classes at the hospital. It didn't work at first. I paced back and forth across the room. When I neared the window, I took a moment to peek out, where I saw Rod staring up at me. I backed away and kept trying to calm my son. He didn't stop crying for a good twenty minutes.

Of course, by then the neighbors were long gone and their house was dark. I closed the window and put William back in his crib. Then I cleaned up the mess I'd made. No damage done.

Of course, damage to my ego was something else. There was no way Rod and Kim could have missed the racket or the light coming on. Like a horny teenager, I'd been busted for peeping on my neighbors.

I thought about it as I went to bed, and again the next day. In fact, I thought about it a lot -- not only what I'd seen, but what I'd done. Eventually I decided I didn't need to be embarrassed. I hadn't done anything wrong and I figured if I just avoided my neighbors for a while, the whole thing would be forgotten. After all, they weren't exactly going to admit they'd been screwing in the hot tub, right?

Except I was wrong. The following weekend, I went out to weed while my wife took care of the baby. I hadn't been outside ten minutes when Rod strolled out his back door and over to the fence.

"Hey," he said. "How's the kid doing?"

"Uh...okay," I replied. "Other than the colic, he's fine."

"Yeah. I heard him the other night. He didn't sound good."

I grimaced. "Well, sometimes the nights are rough."

He nodded. "It's gotta suck. Were you the one up with him?"

I nodded.

Kim stepped out of the house. She waved and wandered over.

"Hey, Honey," Rod said as she approached.

"How're you doing?" she asked me. "Is the little guy letting you sleep?"

I rolled my eyes. "No. We're up a lot." I took a quick breath. "And I'm sorry he disturbed you the other night."

Kim blinked. "Well, he didn't disturb me. I've been in Chicago all week, visiting friends."

I froze, and Rod must have seen my surprise.

"I heard the kid the night Julie was over," he said smoothly. "Loud little guy."

"That wasn't you?" I blurted.

Rod turned to his wife. "We were out in the hot tub for a while."

"Ah," Kim said, nodding knowingly. She turned to me. "She's a great gal. You should meet her sometime. Maybe you and Karen can come to one of our parties."

I made a non-committal shrug.

Kim turned to Rod. "Come help me with the bushes in front?" she said. "Bring the wheelbarrow?"

"Sure, honey."

"See ya," Kim said to me and headed around the house. My eyes followed her, as I wondered what she really knew.

Rod read my mind. "She knows more than you think," he said with a smirk. "And you really wouldn't enjoy our parties. You couldn't handle them."

Before I could retort, he turned and strolled over to the wheelbarrow. Without looking back, he took it by the handles and headed for their front yard. Behind me, William shrieked, his tiny voice loud and clear in the narrow space between his room and where I stood. With a frustrated sigh, I turned back to the house. I no longer knew quite what to think.

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