How to Give Head in the Men's Bathroom
  of the Church you Were Baptized,
   Given First Communion, and Confirmed In

Look around. Don't look suspicious. Try not to look like two high school students cutting their sixth period. Don't look in your boyfriend's eyes with lust in the parking lot. Especially don't wink or slap his ass, even in a playful manner. If Father Tony sees this, he'll tell your mother. Just open the door and push your boyfriend in. Close the door behind you. Lock it. Turn off the lights. Then you can do anything.

Remember the long hours of bible school and the way Mrs. Choverria mispronounced your name. The desks you had to sit in for two hours every Tuesday night. Those activity books you had to color. And how Mrs. Choverria said it was a sin to color the Lord Christ's hair purple. Remember how she said you were damned to hell when you gave Jesus tits. Time out, she said, and then mispronounced your name. Press up against your boyfriend, who's against the door. Kiss your boyfriend on the lips. Stick in your tongue. Suck on his tongue, his lip. Breathe through your nose. Deeply. The heart in your chest is beating. It's hot and hard under his belt buckle. Remember bible school only to make you more wet.

Undo his pants with your tongue still in his mouth. Hear him moan when you rub the wetness from his tip around the head. Around and around. Then take your mouth away from his. Move your tongue down his neck. Pull up his shirt. Flick his hard nipple with your tongue, then bite it. Hear him moan again. Then pull down his pants and stick him in your mouth. Put your lips around him and suck him. Suck him hard. Think of going to church on Sundays. Think of the Host. The wafers. His body. The Body. The heat. Harder than he has ever been. Suck him. Think of the Host. Think of how it would stick to the roof of your mouth after you would do the sign of the cross and say Amen. Suck him. Lick him. The wafer off the roof of your mouth. His Body. The way he melts in your mouth. How he's the hardest he's ever been. Grab his ass and stick him all the way down your throat. Amen. Remember your favorite thing about church; the wine. Want it. Thirst for it. Ask your boyfriend to come in your mouth. The blood of Christ.

Start to use your hands. When your boyfriend says harder, faster, think of your parents and how they make you go to church every Sunday, and how they think you're immoral. Grasp him harder. Remember the way your mother called you a sinner when you came home an hour late, after sundown, missing dinner, and you didn't realize your boyfriend gave you a hickey. Remember the way your cheek felt after she slapped it with her wedding ring turned in toward her palm, scraping your cheek with disgust. Go faster, faster. Put both his balls in your mouth and suck. Flick your tongue. And remember the way you started to laugh. A little giggle to a spastic snicker. Put him in your mouth, down your throat, grab his ass, and remember when your mother started to cry. Start stroking him again when you think of the way she choked words through her hands, how could you do this to me. Hear your boyfriend say I'm gonna blow, I'm gonna blow. Watch him brace his hands against the walls. Forget about your mother. Feel only your boyfriend in your mouth and the wetness in your panties. Swallow.

©2004 by Mary Van Note

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Currently a student at the University of California at Santa Cruz, double-majoring in Literature and Women's Studies, 21 year old Mary Van Note is awaiting the moment her first novel will be published, having finished it at the age of 19. In the past year, she has spent her time writing and performing stand-up comedy in various venues throughout the Bay Area. See more of her work at her Web site.