|
|
|
Clean Sheets-ology: October 2005 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(10/05/05)
 Have you picked your costume out yet? A neighbor arrived at my door late one Halloween and told me that he'd heard there was someone dressed as a merry widow living there. Hmm, okay, lesson one, divorce and death are not the same thing -- and -- get off my front steps.
October finds us in a Mars retrograde period that begins October 1 and lasts until December 9...or did you want to argue that point? The action that is Mars remains, just not in a pro-active kind of way. The wet spot may become a sore spot -- you're not fixing it or lying in it because that's what you always do: not this time. Venus in Sagittarius on October 7 brings forth a desire to express oneself openly and honestly, so when the issue of the wet spot rears its damp little head, you'll have no problem expressing why you're not sleeping in it again -- you're tired of sliding gracefully out of bed only to discover you've got the bottom sheet stuck to your butt.
If October 16 is Bosses Day, does that mean that you should let someone tell you what to do, or should you take the opportunity to be the boss? Should you clean and polish someone's leather gear, or sneak it on when they're not looking? You're not the boss of me. Actually, by the end of the night, you'll find that I am.
How many people wait till Halloween to dress up as their fantasy and hide it under the guise of a joke costume? The hot nurse, pretend doctor, cop with handcuffs, harem girl, leather queen, detention room teacher...the list is endless. The barometer should be whether you're hard and/or wet at the end of the night. If you are, don't waste it -- and don't wait another year before dressing up again.
Aries (March 21 -- April 19) You should endeavor to finish old relationships before you start new ones -- did you sign a contract with any of those relationships? That really just seems like good year round advice, but it certainly bears repeating for you this month. Remember when they said don't ever do us both in the same day? They meant it, and they are not impressed that you can get it up or take it that many times either. Play the game, but don't play one another.
Taurus (April 20 -- May 20) Relax. Unfold. Unfurl. The only straining you're up for right now is against the ties that bind you face down on the bed. It's not so much a need to give up the control you constantly strive to retain, as it is a need to just let someone else take the helm. Intensity in another's actions doesn't frighten you -- you appreciate the drive and the insistent push. Relax. Unfold. Unfurl.
Gemini (May 21 -- June 20) Nice to be able to include a third in the conversations that take place in your head between the two of you, isn't it? If there's too much to do and not enough time, make a mental list with the things you want most at the top. In order: Oral, missionary, hands and knees, anal. There's a coup -- working down a list and coming -- but keep the order; moving anal around is going to mess up the natural progression of the list.
Cancer (June 21 -- July 22) Make sure that your cash intake can support any lifestyle changes you want to make. Try not to spend too much time questioning love and lust declarations that come your way. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. If your last lover said you need to shave, and this one says they love, in fact can't stop swirling their tongue around that unique little cowlick right below your ass -- you should believe them. Then bend over and spread.
Leo (July 23 -- August 22) Concerns over promises that were made to you or by you last month distract you from all the fun you could be having. Stop worrying so much about the actions of others. Strip everything down to basics, and only deal with those things deemed essential. Certainly if you're going to play pool with your underpants as the prize, it would be deemed essential that you have them on. Pulling them fresh and clean out of your purse and sliding them off in the bar and stuffing them all musky and damp in your opponent's mouth isn't the same thing -- just as "used panty" and "fabric softener" are two vastly different fetishes.
Virgo (August 23- September 22) Those associated with you will be at the mercy of your moods as you take all and sundry on a rollercoaster ride of come here -- no -- go away. Maintain a modicum of balance and try to keep work-related sexual interest that has stewed in the backyard of your mind for months at arm's length -- even if you're on the "come here" screaming corner of the rollercoaster ride that is you.
Libra (September 23 -- October 22) Tension in relationships is directly due to your currently scattered behavior. For you, the Full Moon and Lunar Eclipse will bring with it the winds of change -- perhaps a temporary separation, or in reverse, the end of that feeling of distance you've been experiencing...you know that feeling of distance you get when you're never there? If you miss burying your dick, try moving it a little closer.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21) This month as usual, Scorpions are hot and always ready, but they take a lot of heat as the misbehaved sexual deviants of the astral world. Remember though, just because they want a lot of sex, doesn't mean they want sex with a lot of people -- and it takes a good partner to appreciate that. A true Scorpio would rather chew their left leg off than ask for anything specific...maybe, just maybe it's time to ease up on the stubbornness.
Sagittarius (November 22 -- December 21) Are you feeling a little overwhelmed with responsibility and obligations? Part of the problem is that you tend to over-promise on what you can realistically deliver. Did you promise to bang someone's brains out after a romantic dinner, only to remember on the way home that it's Monday Night Football and you want nothing more than to put your feet up and watch the whole game? Houston (who stink this year), we have a problem. Let go, and let life take its natural course more often. Perhaps you can get a blowjob at half-time? ...however, asking for that would be ill-advised.
Capricorn (December 22 -- January 19) When problems arise in your relationship arena, you'll need to step back and figure out how it is that you ended up in the situation you find yourself in. Are you the proverbial wallflower? (Poor planning and lack of forward action.) Are you hanging upside down in a closet, head shaved, with a fully charged vibrating butt plug plumbing your depths? (Poor planning and lack of forward thought.) Go back to the beginning, think it through, and start again.
Aquarius (January 20 -- February 18) End what you begin. When they say it's okay, they don't need to come, go ahead and go to sleep, they might mean it at the time, but only if they're tired of you pretending to be still into the whole procedure. You'll sleep better when you've finished what you started. Don't let low cash-flow stop you from pursuing new prospects -- most everyone this month is interested in a back-to-basics movement. Now, more than ever, you can dispense with the dating dance and move straight to full-on basic fucking.
Pisces (February 19 -- March 20) Be open to all possibilities and surrender yourself to new experiences. You have been distracted by the effort to stick to past themes and routines, but it is time to let those go, as they have been nothing more than a rope that holds you back. Remember, whatever you haven't tried is a new experience to you. Your nipples harden inside your push-up bra every time Suzie struts past your desk in her stilettos? Does the thought of girl-on-girl intrigue you? Are you imagining a pointed red leather toe sliding up and in between your thighs? You are wet, aren't you? Go explore...and feel free to surrender.
©2005 by Nola Summers
Reader
Comments
Nola Summers has combined honest-to-goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and come up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins, and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky, pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake.
|
|
|
