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Clean Sheets-ology September 2007 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(09/01/07)
Back to school isn't the only thing that's happening at the beginning of September; the skies are full of opposing energy. It's up to you to decide what to do with it -- make it work for you or let it work against you. If you feel like you've bitten off more than you can chew then don't open so wide next time. When you're finished gagging, I suggest a cooperative approach and more importantly, a controlled thrust. Venus stations Direct on September 7 and as she moves forward we should all honor our inner goddess -- yes even those among us named George or Fred or Bill... Mercury Trine Neptune on the 18th may bring a brief suspension of rationality and normal beliefs. Do you believe you can't come with those little nipples of yours clamped and twisted? What a perfect day to find out. A Full Moon in Aries on the 26th brings energetic enthusiasm -- are they coming or just having a whole bunch of fun?
Aries (March 21 -- April 19) Things that went south (and not the good south) in August are going to straighten themselves back out in September. In fact the new hook-ups are better than the ones you lost. Think the best friend, the sister, the brother...and yes, maybe even someone's mother. Remember the more mature partner really does just want a piece of your ass. When opportunities arrive to expand something try to look at more than just a bigger ass plug...not that there's anything wrong with that.
Taurus (April 20 -- May 20) Work's a tricky thing isn't it but the upside of summer staff (beyond that extra ass) is that they're gonna split when the holidays are done. The regular office fling never needs to meet the summer replacement unless they get hired to stay on; then you've got a problem. Oddly, the more involved your evasive sidestepping is, the better the chance your story will be believed. Before you do all this scheming though make sure little Suzy or Sammy Summer Fling actually wants to keep your ass. Maybe you don't have to do all that fancy footwork after all.
Gemini (May21 -- June 20) Enough already with the deciding whether you need to decide about something. Still, what you do finally settle on will have lasting effects. Quit dicking around and start dicking -- there is a difference and I know that you know what it is. Spend a little time not being the giant mind machine. Take it out, wave it around and let the dick speak. As a lady Gemini, you should take what you want, when, and how you want it and think about it later.
Cancer (June 21 -- July 22) I know you like to spend time figuring out what makes people tick and that's all well and good for after coitus snuggle fests when partners blurt out those little things that are better left unsaid. But here's a thought: spend time figuring out how things work as well. This will serve you well when you have to bring stuff home. You know there are things that are needed for back door play, but do you know why you use the lube that you do? No? Then how will you bring home the right one?
Leo (July 23 -- August 22) Just lie back down and let it happen; let it happen to you this time. Even though you like to be the savior, planner, and center of attention it's possible to be all that and let someone else do all the work. Pamper yourself by letting yourself be pampered. Do you think you could manage bringing the powder and puff, the bath oil, the fluffy towels and telling them to use them on you? Why don't you give it a try? Pretend you're on stage if you have to but just let it be what it be.
Virgo (August 23 -- September 22) You love to flirt and mix things up but this month the only one who thinks they don't know what you're doing is you. When that happens and it's brought to your attention, you will not take it well. Everyone seems to be in everyone's business and you can try to figure out why and who's doing who on whose time but it would be better if you just stepped back and let things play out. Play with yourself while you're waiting. That way you might be the only one not pissed with you by month's end.
Libra (September 23 -- October 22) So last month when you were doing your darndest to be cute and sexy and available there weren't that many takers. Apparently they've thought things through, changed their minds and are knocking each other over to get to you. Just because they're ready now doesn't mean they get to decide what you get and when you get it. Take your pick then leave them wanting more of something you're not giving them again.
Scorpio (October 23 -- November 21) Yes, yes, yes you're busy, busy, busy but try not to let that be the only vibe you're giving out this month. If you mix this with your usual get lost aura you might be celebrating solo more than usual. And I say more than, because we all know that you love yourself regularly. If they say they can do it to you all the way right, and deep in your heart of hearts you know they can't, be generous and let them try. Just be diplomatic as you usher them back out the bedroom door.
Sagittarius (November 22 -- December 21) Do you ever feel like you're doing everything you can but you're just not getting anywhere closer to getting in between those thighs? Try using your sense of humor to seal the deal. Not pratfalls or slapstick or Dr. Seuss hats or any of that other silly shit you can come up with. Share a joke, enjoy their stories. Have you ever had so much fun in bed that you were laughing as much as making out? That's where you need to go. .
Capricorn (December 22 -- January 19) Most times you tease out the transition from meeting to sleeping together but progress this time may have come much faster and easier than usual. What's to complain about there? It can be a sticky situation beyond the wet spot when you discover just as quickly that as much as you like what they can do to you, you don't actually like them. You can give them one more chance, but if it isn't going to work give them a push right back out the door they came in.
Aquarius (January 20 -- February 18) You may want to give the dinner for two a miss this month and stick to the club scene. It's not that you don't have enough in common to fuel the dinner conversation, but you will have much more fun in a crowd. Yeah, they do look hot dancing up there without you; think of it as sharing without really sharing. On the other hand big kid sharing can be very nice.
Pisces (February 19 -- March 20) You are on top of the world emotionally and chock full of energy and good vibes. Instead of just going with this wonderful flow use it to add everything you can to the relationship. Don't just give them what they want; give them what they don't know they want. Bring home the corset or latex and wear it for them or help them put it on. Now is the time for joyful experimentation.
©2007 by Nola Summers
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Nola Summers combined honest-to-goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and came up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake. She is a Contributing Editor and Astrologer for Clean Sheets and a Staff Writer for Pulp Magazine. You are invited to visit her MySpace space and her Web site.
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