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Clean Sheets-ology: August 2005 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(08/01/05)
Leo
The New Moon in Leo on August 4th starts the month out on a platform of creativity. You'll find yourself, if you apply just a touch of imagination, enjoying what you do and doing what you enjoy. You've dressed him up in your panties and the red patent numbers that were just made for walking that short distance between the shoebox and the bed -- you suggested he try these things on -- now what? Go ahead and enjoy it -- he's hard -- get on and ride that horse. As an aside, August 8th is Sneak Some Zucchini On Your Neighbor's Porch Night. Is that just another way of saying you're gonna go get a little something-something next door? Slippin' Mrs. Smith some organic growth? Mercury Square Mars on the 13th makes communications challenging, so keep your egos in check, separate fact from fiction, and chill with an iced tea. In fact, hold that iced tea in your left hand, because the 13th is also Left Hand Day. No, put the drink down and put your left hand down your pants or up your skirt because it's Underwear Day as well...while you're down there feeling around, why not prove how ambidextrous you are -- can you make yourself come with either hand? Venus in Leo on the 16th brings an opportunity to pass on the hard work and have some fun; take this opportunity to be the real you and you'll find that others find you as sexy as you find yourself. The Full Moon this month falls on the 19th. An August Full Moon is sometimes referred to as The Moon of the Fields which I take as a clear invitation to peel off completely and head out for some love under the night sky...anybody else coming?
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Aries (March 21-April 19) You've sorted out your differences and all is well on the home front, or, if you're up to your old tricks -- your home fronts. Private plans are better left private for now. Your intention may be to control your partner completely -- make them your love slave -- delicious, really, when done just right. Something done right takes time; they won't realize how deep they're in until after they've licked clean the foot they've just fucked themselves on. By then, Sir, they already want more.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) You don't have to cover every square inch of skin with your tongue. I know they taste good, but you're the Bull, not a pig at the trough. You will derive great pleasure from the pleasure you give your partner, but don't forget your own needs as well. Remember to give because you can -- not because you have to.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Things still seem tough on many fronts, but conversations both ways can inspire and boost on many levels. Listen to the creative ideas of your closest associates and weed out the good from the not-so-good. Don't hear what isn't there -- "shower and come to bed" doesn't mean you're dirty. Cocoa butter smells great and does a wonderful job of moisturizing, but you've never licked it out of that smooth little groove between your butt and your balls, have you? Go wash, Chef -- then come back and we'll do some taste tests.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Unexpected occurrences change your views in a positive way. Funny where things end up when there's lube involved. Oh, you didn't think that would feel quite as good as it does? Didn't think you'd enjoy being fucked as much as you enjoy fucking someone else (and I mean that in the most literal of terms). What does this all mean? Nothing more than you've wasted a heap of time not doing something that feels really, really good. Be more open-minded and welcome to the world.
Leo (July 23-August 22) Have you spent any time in the last few weeks reflecting on your inner Lion? You should be developing new strategies and implementing them with confidence and boldness. That may seem strange advice for one who is so comfortable with, in fact, craves attention. I know you're not concerned that you're on view -- that's the whole idea -- just stop thinking about whether they're big enough. Nipples like bruised raspberries, each threaded with a fine gold hoop and connected with the thinnest of chains. What's not to like?
Virgo (August 23-September 22) You, on the other hand, need to trim down the paraphernalia and move toward a more simplified routine with your partner. Break out the candles and rose petals if you must, but I really meant get back to the dick-sticking, tongue-licking, finger-fucking kind of stuff. Take off your gym shoes...and...just...do...it.
Libra (September 23-October 22) Ever see a person that you've just got to have? Not tomorrow, not next week, right bloody now. In the ladies' loo if that's all that's close at hand. You see the big scary accessory that's waiting at the end of the bar, but you're going for it anyway. That's the difference between wanting and losing your mind. There's not a lot of space between being lustful and being a lunatic, so don't wait till you're looking up from the cold tiles on the stall floor to figure it out.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21) You're working hard at everything, but all the things you need are not close at hand. Tension builds as you spin your wheels. Unfortunately, your fave personal appliance can only shave an edge off of that kind of angst. What to do, what to do? Well, Little Sister, you already know the answer to that: plug that baby back in till Big Daddy comes home and finishes the job.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) The Hunter is also plagued with unseen tensions as August rolls out. Try to avoid looking backwards and reliving and rehashing old issues. Yes, every time you think about that particular two-handed twisty-twirly-swoopy-lubey hand-job technique they used, you get hard, and even though you try doing it yourself it's nowhere near as good. Fine enough, but surely you could show someone new what to do, and given half a chance they'll get the hang of it.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19) Relationships are confused with communication mix-ups. Do not even think about Sandy when you're tonguing Mandy. Do not come up for air until you've got a face like a glazed donut, and she's lost track of who she is. Be very careful with persons who show up from the past for another kick at the can -- you'll never get their names right. Also, ixnay on the "remember that time" conversations -- that really was someone else.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18) New connections are very likely, but dig a little deeper before plowing the fields of the August Full Moon. It's no use saying that you thought they were a little wacky when you met them. You'll already be strapped to the porch swing and be wearing a zucchini in the most unlikely of places. Um, you're not going to cook that are you? When someone from the past shows up, remember this; people don't change, they just become more adept at pretending they've changed. What a pill to realize that the best fuck you ever had was with someone you thought was crazy. I believe that is referred to as one of life's little ironies.
Pisces (February 19-March 20) I don’t think we need to do any deep Tantric work here, but if you want true satisfaction in the sack or shed or wherever you’re doing it right now, then you need to work more closely with whoever’s got their thighs wrapped around you. Don’t just flip them over and dive in -- discuss it first. “I’d like to turn around now, baby. We’ll go slowly. Stop me if it hurts,” will get you to, “Just a little more, we’re almost there,” a lot faster than, “Turn around so I can fuck you in the ass.” Let’s involve everyone in the room in the decision-making process so we can all have some fun.
©2005 by Nola Summers
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Nola Summers has combined honest-to-goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and come up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky, pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake.
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