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Clean Sheets-ology June 2007 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(06/01/07)
Once again that bad boy Mercury is heading the other way on June 15 and he's not coming back till July 9. Usually it's electronics, communications, and plans that go tits up but you should pay attention to the little things as well...like the lube tube. The fact that it's empty stems from a miscommunication over who was supposed to get the new one...and no, spit will not suffice...not for long enough anyway. June 17 is Father's Day, I prefer "Who's Your Daddy Day" -- that way everyone can get involved. June 25 brings a Saturn Opposite Neptune aspect; this is big ego energy but if let your guard down just enough you may find that your partner does know exactly what's good for you right now. Give in, and let them in all the little places you've kept them out of before.
Aries (March 21 -- April 19) Affairs of the heart and business aspects get all straightened out: could be an office affair in the summer air. Now here's something to consider for all you desk-sitting-cubicle-dwellers; have you taken a good look at that hot security guard and is there a possibility that the cafeteria lady is wearing lacy thigh highs and a thong underneath that nondescript uniform? That's right my little white collar wonders, go slow, but take a good long all encompassing look at what the real possibilities are.
Taurus (April 20 -- May 20) Begin your June with a slow summer warm-up to the hot days coming in July. Explore all possibilities but be wary of falling into the trap of doing everyone and being so distracted that you do not do anyone to perfection. And that is the key; find out what they need, what works; and do it exceptionally well. Probably, anyone can make them come, but how many are taking the time to make them come again...and again...and again. Even if you don't stick around you'll always be remembered.
Gemini (May21 -- June 20) Stagnation is boredom, and to you boredom is the end. No matter how good you fuck them if they want it the same way most times, you will hunger for something new. Would putting your own spin on the sponge bath be too much for them? Not if you go down on them the same way you always do after. (You know they love it.) They can take the spotlight and come as loud as they can -- when you come back up for air take a bow as only you can.
Cancer (June 21 -- July 22) Still trying to figure out what went wrong back then? Things were hot, they were hot, you were hot together -- then nothing. Sometimes it is them...and as your replacement is replaced you begin to realize that this time it was not you. Handle this with typical Cancer diplomacy -- don't bring up your past with the replacement,just be very glad you got out from under that when you did.
Leo (July 23 -- August 22) Even though you like to be looked at, admired, and adored, you still have trouble accepting the actual words of praise that come along with that. When they say you have fabulous tits, say thank you and give them an appreciative look; a cock that is a work of art, say thank you and paint a picture on their ass with it. The easier you find it to accept words of worship, the more they will come.
Virgo (August 23 -- September 22) Why is it that we plan many things down to the last detail and work to get them, but when it comes to sex and partners we decide to "just let it happen"...seriously, what's up with that? It's counter-productive. If you want someone, figure out how to get them between your legs and under your sheets. Once you've got who you want -- figure out how to keep them.
Libra (September 23 -- October 22) You can be a real pain in the ass sometimes. No one knows better than you how to avoid responsibility in personal affairs when it's going to clearly be more fun to just let things be. This time you plan it and carry it out. No matter if it's a sex-filled weekend away or a popcorn filled porn-movie night. How hard would it be to make the reenacting of the movie plot a possibility?
Scorpio (October 23 -- November 21) Even though it is not your style, you should feel comfortable this month blowing your own horn and banging your own drum. You never need to make an entrance; you just need to show up to get everyone's attention. The biggest will come to you, they always do, when it happens, feel free to blow and bang whomever you choose because, as usual, the choice will be yours
Sagittarius (November 22 -- December 21) What you see as roadblocks are merely slight delays. Use your ability to make connections and network to get you more than you wanted or imagined possible. Let's see; you know that person, and you know that person but those two don't know each other. If you're the common thread that completes the trio then use the fact that they both want you and you want them both...see where I'm going here. You are one step away from the threesome you've dreamed about. .
Capricorn (December 22 -- January 19) You have exhausted yourself trying to get inside that juicy pussy or ride that cowboy cock. Maybe they're just tired of listening to your tired old lines and they've tuned you out. Mix it up a little, appear to be interested in someone else, or disappear for day or two. It's when things are different and they can't figure out what you're up to that their interest in you will be piqued. Now who wants who?
Aquarius (January 20 -- February 18) You really really want to try this new position or technique, or explore some S&M, but you're going to have to do some pretty heavy convincing. You'll get what you want if you find the right way to approach it. Tying them up when they're sleeping is not the approach you should take. If you're stressed then go wild -- get out the rubber sheets and the cooking oil if you have to, just make the final goal that you are fucked to exhaustion. It can be quite wonderful to wake up on the floor all sticky and sore;even better when the fog clears and you remember how you got there.
Pisces (February 19 -- March 20) Are you so transparent that people can look right through you as if you aren't there? Can they not see you? Can they not hear you? Can they not feel you? Are you just a warm pussy or hard dick? What the fuck is going on? Ah, once again you took your cart down the asshole aisle when you were looking for "love me for me" and accessories. You need to make a list and check it -- in fact take it with you next time you're shopping for the right one.
©2007 by Nola Summers
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Nola Summers combined honest-to-goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and came up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake. She is a Contributing Editor and Astrologer for Clean Sheets and a Staff Writer for Pulp Magazine. You are invited to visit her MySpace space and her Web site.
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