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Clean Sheets-ology June 2006 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(06/01/06)
May was Masturbation Month, and if you're all tuckered out (Oh, you don't do that -- then neither do I.) you'll be happy to read that the skies are going to give us all a bit of break by starting June off relatively quietly. I'm going to rest up a bit from that thing I don't do...very often...and let my energy build as the month progresses. Father's Day on June 18th, Uranus Retrograde on the 19th, and the Summer Solstice on the 21st combine to produce a unique energy. Think of it as a time when you can flip the script, be as bad as you want to be, and blame it all on something else. Dark is light, good is bad, daytime and nighttime are equal. Give him something he's not likely to forget on his special day; or take something -- you decide. Can you really hear or say, "Bend over baby," too many times? I think not.
Aries (March 21 -- April 19) Rumor has it that we, as creatures of habit, make love the same way most times. It's not that we make love a new way to a new partner; it's just new to them. This month you're going to have to decide whether you feel like breaking in someone who's new to your dirty old ways, or if it's easier to not bother and simply plow the same field the same way. The old and new pull in opposite directions and by mid-month you'll have to decide, or adapt to both.
Taurus (April 20 -- May 20) You cannot believe your luck: you've managed to already, or will very shortly, come upon (not to be confused with come on) the partner of your dreams. Don't let your nervousness in this new situation be misconstrued on your potential partner's part as rejection. Sweaty palms? Get your damp hands thoroughly wet between their thighs and more than one problem will be solved.
Gemini (May21 -- June 20) Did they come? Lovers feel the pressure you put your self under in order to make them come and hitting the right groove becomes more elusive. Let it go. You can only help them reach their peak. Making them is tying them to the bed and applying buzzy things to their most sensitive parts. If you let it go they'll stop thinking about how hard you're working, and before you know it everyone's done.
Cancer (June 21 -- July 22) If you find yourself suddenly moving back to one from plus one, don't be overly concerned. Out with the old and in with the new. Unlike your Aries brothers and sisters this is a win-win situation for you. Instead of convincing someone to try something you want, you'll be the one who is being offered new things. You'll be ass-up lickety-split, slippery with spit and enjoying it before you get the chance to say you don't do that.
Leo (July 23 -- August 22) You're stressed, overworked, and prone to sudden changes of mind this month; deciding mid-stroke that it's time to turn over -- again. Take a break from everything that's usual. Prepare dinner for someone special then serve it on yourself Nyotaimori style. Someone's going to end up just like a little lava cake with the sweetest part oozing out between their thighs and down their legs. Yummy, don't forget to wipe your chin.
Virgo (August 23 -- September 22) You'll either engage in a long distance love affair or travel some distance to be with the latest object of your desire. It's not easy being apart and absence doesn't make you harder or wetter when you eventually get there -- it makes you forget who you're doing, or at least why you're doing them. There's a lot to be said for the fuck and run and everyone should try it once; twice if it's worth the drive.
Libra (September 23 -- October 22) It's okay to take your time thinking through major decisions. Your stars show that forgiveness may be required in close relations and you'd be mistaken to think that this applies only to you forgiving someone else. If your decision-making involves that steamy number in the next cubicle you need to think on what sliding in there really means. Sometimes the grass is greener, the pussy is wetter, and the dick is harder -- but do spend all the time you need fantasizing about it first.
Scorpio (October 23 -- November 21) Compromise, although not a natural Scorpion trait, can be a good thing. You are very used to getting what you want in bed through sheer persistence and aggressiveness; what you can't directly take, you convince should be given up. Stubborn, hardheaded, call it what you want -- you're just being you. You can be patient when it's a means to an end (in this case their end; their sweet tongue-tip-tasting end, and it will be yours -- in the end). Let them interpret your patience as compromise.
Sagittarius (November 22 -- December 21) Jealousy and possessiveness are in the air. My goodness, the extra layers are coming off in the summer heat and now no one is supposed to look? Is it you or is it them? Either way it's not a good thing, and it's taxing to always have to prove undying devotion. Try some D&D...distract them by shoving your entire hand down their pants/panties thus diverting their attention from the fact that you are paying attention to every ass that walks by.
Capricorn (December 22 -- January 19) Sometimes the ones that we love and I mean that literally, need a helping hand, or fist, or thumb. They need that little extra to bump them over the edge. You're not doing anything wrong; they just need more this time. Be happy that they still come to you to do the job, expect you'll do the job well, and that you'll take the extra time to do it. Three times in a row would be considered a job well done. Congrats on not taking what's distracting them as a statement about you.
Aquarius (January 20 -- February 18) You are involved with a partner, or partners, who want a stronger commitment from you. This can range from moving in and marrying or agreeing to a Monday and Wednesday night fuck. If you feel pressured by whatever form this takes then say no. Changes are apparent mid-month so pay attention to those little niggling doubts but don't hightail it out the door just yet. If there are fava beans and a bottle of Chianti on the kitchen counter then by all means run away as fast as you can.
Pisces (February 19 -- March 20) Don't go off half-cocked; timing is everything. Please be patient. You feel like you're in a rut but you're really getting ready to climb out. Like when the most delicious come just starts to work its way up from your toes: you can feel it coming and you wish it would hurry up, but the anticipation is almost as good, which makes it worth the wait 'cause you can feel it coming. Life is the same -- it keeps on coming and sometimes you just have to let it be.
©2006 by Nola Summers
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Nola Summers combined honest-to-goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and came up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake.
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