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Clean Sheets-ology: June 2005 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(06/01/05)
 June is upon us...and doesn't that lend itself to a whole host of scenarios? Unless you know someone named June, then, like me, you find that whole "upon" aspect intriguing. Whether you're upon someone or someone is upon you, just go with it, enjoy it, work it, and then remember it for those dismal days in late February.
The Sun (self-expression) Conjunct Mercury (thoughts) in early June will have everyone bubbly and talkative; mostly about me, me, me -- "I'm coming. I'm coming again. I came." But we'll all be in such a bright mood that just sharing the experience will be enough, until it's our turn. Big, deep, dark Uranus goes Retrograde on June 14 and stays that way till mid-November, so this summer you should expect the unexpected. When you spot little Sandra-stay-at-home deep-throating the buggy-boy in the parking lot of the all-night gas and grocery, don't blame it on the heat or the humidity; it'll be that deep Uranus thing.
One of my favorite special days occurs this month as well -- Father's Day -- the day when we honor the men we know who act as father figures. This is one of the days when the most unexpected should be expected. This is the day that you could strap one on and take "Daddy" for a ride he won't soon forget; blame it on that big dark Uranus thing.
So, June begins: we'll start by talking about ourselves and our own needs, move into providing grocery store workers some sex-at-work time, blur the edges of who gets what in the anal play arena, and finish it all off by dancing around the midnight bonfires to bring in the Summer Solstice on June 21. You may take the remainder of the month off -- or spend it doing exactly the opposite of what you normally would.
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Aries (March 21 -- April 19) June brings the opportunity for the birth of new ideas and the melding of mind and spirit. This could be as complicated as timing your collective comings with the rise of the full moon, or just having some totally mind-blowing sex; the kind that makes your dick hard or your pussy wet while you're sitting in the board meeting trying to look interested in the blather up front.
Taurus (April 20 -- May 20) Others will find you serious and masterful this month, even when you're not trying to be so. Being masterful is a funny thing; anything that you're good at can be seen as total genius by your partner. Telling her you're going lick her till she comes six times might be seen as a challenge. Keep sneaking that tongue-tip back in there and she'll soon be too weak to resist your efforts. You will be remembered as a Master in the oral arts.
Gemini (May 21 -- June 20) You should be making progress now on many fronts, or backs, if you prefer that position. Be careful not to give the gears to the wrong person at the wrong time because you've misconstrued their presentation. "Turn over," is neither a direction nor an order. It is, most likely, the short version of "Turn over so I can wrap my tongue around that fabulous cock. God, I miss your taste."
Cancer (June 21 -- July 22) Lucky you, this month is good for romance and relationships. You should make new friends and those friends will probably come with surprises. Maybe they'll bring their own magic bag. You will be looking for situations that more suit your lifestyle direction. It is okay to want to be spanked, it is okay to ask for it, and even more okay to find the partner that will do it, and to keep looking until you do.
Leo (July 23 -- August 22) It's almost redundant to tell a Leo that they should do their own thing and please themselves, because it's a lifestyle for them -- but I'm going to do it anyway. I don't know that absence makes the heart grow fonder -- closer to drives you crazy -- makes you play with yourself and have weird dreams. If this month takes you away from your lover(s), just think of the fun you'll have when you get back -- no need to mention what you've been up to while you were gone.
Virgo (August 23 -- September 22) Keep your eyes open for the competition -- because there is some. You may have the desire to develop some new skills. If you've been thinking about taking that "How to Give Better Head" class, then now's the time. Quarrels often come with competition, and after having taken your little course, you can solve them the old fashioned way -- shut them up with a good blow job. They'll forget what the argument was about, and that is as good as a win.
Libra (September 23 -- October 21) Diplomatic Libras excel at creating harmony in and out of bed. Be honest in all your communications and don't beat around the bush -- say what you mean. Do not say "Hmm, Bukkake, what's up with that?" Admit you know about it; admit you're interested -- honesty saves a whole bunch of time and unearths a whole bunch of everyone else's fantasies. You can't fulfill them if you don't know what they are.
Scorpio (October 22 -- November 21) You expect certain outcomes, but each outcome is different, because the initial play is never ever exactly the same. Let the plan in your head go. That's not to say that you're not going to get something you like. First I talk to you, then I kiss you, then I make gentle love to you. No -- this time, I fuck you in the ass -- hard -- if you can breathe, I'll kiss you; if you're still able to speak, we'll talk. Or vice versa; chances are you'll let the plan go and find you like any number of variations.
Sagittarius (November 22 -- December 21) Always nice to hear that luck will be with you, isn't it? Buy lottery tickets if you want, but it could simply mean that you made it out the back door with all your clothes as someone was coming in the front. Did you see the episode of Rescue Me when the fireman gets himself stuck in a cock ring? That's not lucky. Having a co-worker show up with the tools and knowledge to get it off is...luckier than calling an ambulance. Luck hides behind circumstance, so pay attention.
Capricorn (December 22 -- January 19) Is there ever enough time to do everyone all the ways you want to do them? Actually no, not effectively anyway, that's a lucky fantasy. It's great to be able to multi-task, but what that really means is that you're doing everyone to an acceptable level, but not taking each person to a new level. Prioritize and get rid of associates that are wasting your time. Listen as much as you speak -- less telling what you want and more asking how they like it.
Aquarius (January 20 -- February 18) The peace and quiet of your home setting may bother you right now. If it does, you should fill it up with noises of fingers fingering, tongues licking, and skin slapping up against skin. In fact, turn everything off and just listen to the symphony of sounds you can make with yourselves. Older members of your circle may figure prominently this month, like the househusband next door -- he's probably looking for something to do during the day.
Pisces (February 19 -- March 20) Even though you want to be home more often, work calls you away. When you're at home you're thinking about that hot office number, and when you're at work you can't wait to get home and inside whoever is waiting there. Try to keep your mind on the matter at hand, to avoid calling out the wrong name at the wrong time. Impulse spending can make romance expensive, but who doesn't appreciate a new dildo bought just for them? Spend the extra few dollars and get the good lube, and make it all money very well spent.
©2005 by Nola Summers
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Nola Summers has combined honest-to-goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and come up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky, pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake.
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