by Nola Summers
(05/01/05)
Is it spring yet? The month of May brings with it several delicious things that start with the letter "M." The first of May is commonly known as May Day. May Day, more in times past, is associated with fertility festivals and general wild sexual behavior -- all to do with upholding and revering Mother Earth -- the giver of all things. You could certainly try the excuse that you were anointing the soil in some sort of May Day ritual if you get caught "dogging" by the local Bobbies -- probably won't fly though. If you've found a May Day Pole to decorate with ribbons and dance around, be sure to check first that they're color-fast, so the Big Guy doesn't have to explain to the boys at the gym why his Johnson is multi-colored. Our next "M" is Mother's Day. It does require a bit of the umpteen faces of Eve, but there is something to be said for the woman who can powder some little darling's backside one minute and take it up her own the next. Lastly, May is Masturbation Month, so if you really needed an excuse to love yourself everyday -- that's one problem solved. If you missed the kick-off on May 1st, then please take all the time you need to catch up.
Aries (March 21 -- April 19)
The stars suggest that you should develop connections recently made. I wasn't aware, though, that you were ever in the position where you were not making new connections. Always flirting, always planning, and always strategizing. Now is the time to step back, and instead of pulling everyone, cut to the chase and pull one at a time. Bury your face between one set of legs; it makes it a lot easier to remember what that one set of legs likes.
Taurus (April 20 -- May 20)
Can new people expand your life -- or are they just bringing a bigger butt plug into play? Are you closer to finding your center, or are you closer to finding what it feels like to have someone so deep inside that it must be the center? Sometimes it takes someone new to move you to the next level. Venus in Taurus points the light on relationships and social gatherings -- and maybe it is just little Timmy's Mother Day Concert -- but take a good look around at who's looking at you.
Gemini (May 21 -- June 20)
You are unsettled in almost all aspects of your life, and anxious in the rest. You must take the time to relax, even if it is a foreign concept for you. There is always something or someone else that needs doing and attention, but you can, albeit with effort, slow down and take it one hour at a time. Experience the candles and the romance; roll around in the soft and fuzzy spectrum for a minute or two. Fight the urge to fuck them as hard and as fast as you can right this minute -- the day is long -- take a break -- the night is just as long -- it's just darker.
Cancer (June 21 -- July 22)
You've been waiting, waiting, waiting, and now you're ready to be noticed. Why must you wait some more? Be cool, be collected, and wear that tight little number that shows the outline of your nipple ring. Look-at-me laughter will always be outdone by the sexy little grin and wink that you've perfected. Use it, they will come, and they will make you come, and all the waiting will be worth it.
Leo (July 23 -- August 22)
Even though you are willing to make sacrifices to keep the peace, you should expect clashes over methods and approaches. What does that mean? Simple really -- stay within the boundaries of what's expected of you this month. Spell it out some more? Okay, follow along. You've got your little minx splayed out and secured to the bedrails; the precursor to you licking her to seventh heaven and fucking her silly. The current planetary positions suggest that this is not the time to pull out the dong and go for double penetration -- maybe next month, but definitely not now.
Virgo (August 23 -- September 22)
You want to be free, not just from the ties that on occasion bind you, but from the ties of everyday relations and relationships. You should always be picky, and most times are, even though you often don't act on what your inner dirty dog tells you. This month change partners if you want, lay down the law early; tell them what you want and when you want it. You can give one free pass as to figuring out how you want it, but make it clear that the time-frame for getting it right is quite short.
Libra (September 23 -- October 2)
As you strive for success in all things, it puzzles you that others can't keep up, or don't seem to want to. Don't kick them to the curb before you know why, and don't stop asking until you get the answers you need. Maybe they don't have the energy to go again because they've been up early working that second part-time job just to keep you in the finery you desire. Remember as well that sometimes you can have them all, and sometimes choosing one does mean the exclusion of another...not everyone is willing to share your fine ass.
Scorpio (October 23 -- November 21)
May will be a difficult month for our Scorpio brothers and sisters. Being stubborn, hard-headed, and resistant to change is an everyday occurrence, and the very act of trying not to be any of those things will be trial enough. Be open to new possibilities -- not just new things -- more a new way of doing things. It is Masturbation Month -- retreat from the world that wants to change your very being -- indulge yourself -- develop a new mantra. I wonder if, I could, I should. Followed soon after with I didn't think I'd come that way, but I did. June will be here soon.
Sagittarius (November 22 -- December 21)
Seduction: does it matter who's the seducer and who's being seduced? I think not. Can you be seduced by the wrong person? Oh, probably, and you should watch out for that whole wrong person issue, but in the sweat and grind, the twist and turn of deep penetration, the ease that comes with no strings, no ties, who's to say what's wrong? Along the same lines as the song lyrics: ...not Mister Right, but Mister Right Now... carry on boys and girls, you can go the right way down the wrong road.
Capricorn (December 22 -- January 19)
Capricorn is a bundle of energy this month. Areas of life that had run amok are leveling out, and calm is within reach. Don't think it -- ask out loud when opportunity knocks. When the delivery boy asks if there's anything else you need today, don't wait for him to make the first move -- he's not a mind reader. Say yes, there is something you need, and that you'll take delivery of it face down on the dining room table.
Aquarius (January 20 -- February 18)
Don't run your emotional books the way you run your business books. If you've neglected your loved one and you're running in the red, you'd better get the books balanced. You can mix the two, even if it's just playing fuck the boss at home with a briefcase full of nipple clips and spanking tools. Take a letter Mr. Smith: You have failed to uphold your end of the bargain. You will, after strapping on and lubing my cock for me, bend over and take it like a man. Yours Truly, Mrs. Smith.
Pisces (February 19 -- March 20)
Good news this month for the Fish among us. You are feeling playful, romantic, and energetic. There's the bonus -- that energetic part. And it's not just physical energy that abounds, but creative energy as well. There's the real bonus. No same-old, same-old this time round. You'll have your partner swinging from the chandeliers and from the basement rafters; their little toes will barely touch the ground all month long. Smiles and orgasms all round.
