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Clean Sheets-ology April 2006 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(04/05/06)
I don't know about April showers, but I do know that it's warming up and the layers of winter clothing are coming off. That is always a good thing. Venus enters Pisces on April 5th which is timely in a sexy kind of way. This energy will be felt in a very "I am love, we are love, and you look hot to me" kind of way. With the "warm sun, less clothes" bonus, you will be half way to hitting it already. Work it as much as you can until April 18 brings a Mercury Square Mars aspect into play. Not so good -- all those little quirks that seemed so endearing over the last week or so may suddenly become quite irritating. Watch what you say and how you say it. May is coming -- it's Masturbation Month -- and if you're not careful how you behave in the last half of April, you'll be doing it solo...not because you like it, you get to come first, or any other lame excuse you come up with...but because you pissed off your partner.
Aries (March 21 -- April 19) You love to engage in talk about what you'd like to do when you're doing it. Many times this "talk" is a step or two beyond what you're doing. You'd love to be an Aries sandwich -- taking it everywhere at the same time. You don't have to go from zero to sixty in ten seconds but taking the initiative to at least bring home some slippery stuff would help.
Taurus (April 20 -- May 20) No matter how expansive your social scene is there will always be somewhere you haven't been, someone you don't know, someone you haven't done, and some way that you haven't done it. There is some truth to the statement that people make love the same way and the only thing that really changes is who is being made love to. This is a perfect excuse to go do someone that is new to you. Go conduct a survey -- just play safe.
Gemini (May21 -- June 20) If there's something you've wanted to try now's the time to give it a go. We are all bound by our own experience but need to make the decision to not be held back by that. What if it feels good and you've wasted all that feel good time? You may have to rethink emotional concerns, or unlock the doors you keep yourself hidden behind. Let that white light in little by little till it feels as if that warming gel is spread all over your body. See now, it does feel good to let go.
Cancer (June 21 -- July 22) If it's accepted in this me society to work for your own gain, why is asking for something specific in bed when you need it still deemed as selfish loving? Granted, timing can be an issue; deciding you want some ass sex for the first time when there's no lube and you're going to have to do it standing up in someone else's bathroom needs some rethinking. It's okay to want, and it's okay to need but unless your partner is psychic you're going to have to ask -- more importantly -- it's okay to ask.
Leo (July 23 -- August 22) What's done is done -- unless you're not sure it's done. You like the attention of more than one but are rarely successful at multiple dating as you tend to spend more time worrying about getting caught then having fun. You might not be sure that you want to stay where you are and the good news is that you don't have to decide right now. So go back and fuck them as many times as it takes you to figure out if you're staying or they're going.
Virgo (August 23 -- September 22) As a facilitator and accommodator you tend to not speak up when you should. Take this to heart: If it makes you uncomfortable then say so. Deliver the bad news in a good way and make sure that they're listening. We're not doing that right now because you're not ready -- doesn't mean it's never happening -- it means not right now...get them to understand that then let them spend the next little while in active anticipation.
Libra (September 23 -- October 22) Who said long distance love affairs don't work? I know it wasn't you. If yours seems out of control right now then you aren't doing what you need to do to keep the home fires smoldering. Phone sex is in fact all it's cracked up to be -- now a days you can even take a pic of what you're doing to go along with the sound effects. Phone sex has been around forever with good reason -- it's hot.
Scorpio (October 23 -- November 21) It's still about control for you, dear Scorpio. Controlling yourself is rarely the issue. Control of -- or the effort to not control others is tricky. You want what you want when you want it and sometimes fall into the trap of thinking that when your partner says not now it means not ever. Relax and let things happen...It's enough to get what you want; you don't have to control the when as well. Being woken up by a stiff dick or a wet pussy is a lovely surprise...and certainly beats that whole naked at work dream you were having.
Sagittarius (November 22 -- December 21) Even if you've made a concerted effort to dispense with your own life baggage, that doesn't mean that everyone else has been able to do the same. Your relatively new thing is deep between your thighs, face like a glazed donut -- but did they just mumble someone else's name? And you're going to stop them now and ask them what they said? Stop them now when you're this close to coming? Don't be silly. Chalk it up to doing what little you can to help them get over...in fact they'll probably feel way better if you let them do it again.
Capricorn (December 22 -- January 19) If romance seems to have mired in the spring mud pretend you're at Woodstock and roll around a bit. Big issues must be addressed or you'll find that bigger is not always better. Brokeback Mountaining it every time is an issue if you don't want that every time. There are still two (or more) people involved and everyone's needs and wants must be addressed at some point. Not everybody every time but over time all must be satisfied. If you are not satisfied on the level you need then you need to move on.
Aquarius (January 20 -- February 18) Take a look at the big picture, spread your arms and give the whole world a big hug. Seek those that are different from your usual. Don't look for better because you won't find it. Is there a better blow job out there...mm...not better than the one you're getting right now so keep things in perspective. But don't turn someone away because you don't do Asian or blondes or women. Think more along the lines of I haven't yet but now that you're here and you've asked, I think I will.
Pisces (February 19 -- March 20) Try to remain a steady force this month. I know that's tough when spring is in the air but someone needs to keep everyone else out of trouble. That usually is you traipsing down the path to the big bad wolf's house needing to be saved so you could play that role of savior for once. Unless there's someone being eaten for dinner down there, that sounds like fun. Okay, you can both go, but hold hands and stay on the trail.
©2006 by Nola Summers
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Nola Summers combined honest-to-goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and came up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake.
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