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Clean Sheets-ology: April 2005 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(04/01/05)
The New Moon in Aries on April 8th brings with it a blast of bold impulsiveness. The meek and shy among us will find the latent oomph to stand up in their highest of heel, their lowest of neckline, their tightest of skirt or pant -- and say "I'm wearing it and I'm working it and I look good."
The current Mercury Retrograde communications, paper-trail mix-ups, and things of that ilk will wind down on April 12th, and I for one will be happy to see this one end. Even if you understand why your latest sex-toy shipment to your south of the border sweetie was stopped at customs this time, it doesn't make explaining it to UPS customer service any less annoying. You might not be able to divulge exactly what it's made of, but describing what it's made for could prove to be interesting.
Whether it's planting a tree, planting one up against a tree, or hands and knees in the dirt under a tree -- try to find a natural way of celebrating Earth Day on April 22.
Watch yourself on April 24, when the Full Moon in Scorpio coincides with a Lunar Eclipse. This combination will heighten your already passionate selves to a state of near obsession -- the difference between I want it now, I need it now, and I must have it now. Do more than restrain your partner -- restrain yourself -- good things do come to those that wait. You can wait one more stroke.
Aries (March 21-April 19) Can a new beginning appeal to anyone more than it appeals to our Ram? Things aren't working -- I should try someone new. Is it really easier to move on than to do what you should have done in the first place? You'll take your old problems with you, and your old girl will be checking your new girl's shoes -- not because she wants them -- to see if you're up to your old cross-dressing tricks and stretching things out that don't belong to you. Here's something new to try -- buy your own. Small steps on the way to a wardrobe all your own.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Others come to you this month for your help and understanding. Try not to take too much advantage of those more vulnerable than yourself. Don't agree to more than you can supply -- saying no is okay. When the Sun moves into your sign on April 20, it may bring with it a new partner -- it's your birthday and you deserve new things. Don't be naïve though -- they might not be telling the truth if they say they never did that back door thing but they'll try it just for you. Just make a note to yourself that this person may not be entirely honest -- then get the lube.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Work-wise this month, things are going to be stepping up a notch -- which is good. But in the world of checks and balances, this means that the personal side might be taking a beating, and it won't be the good kind. Acknowledge this, and make the extra effort to be attentive -- don't be selfish -- go the extra mile when you're there, whether your tongue is tired or not. When you're not there, hold yourself with one hand and your cell phone with the other. If you're left leaving a message after the tone and all you can manage is the sound of you coming -- at least they'll know you were thinking of them.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Here, as with Gemini, you may find a clash between work and romance. Step to the front of the pack this month and let everyone know what's ticking inside. Take the risk that arises. When that woman walks into work; that one that makes your head turn because she's different -- different in a way that makes you a little wet or a little hard -- take that risk.
Leo (July 23-Aug 22) Leo needs to pay attention this time round. Everyone is getting a shot at new this month with the Solar and Lunar Eclipse, but the trick is that you need to be aware and willing to take the plunge. Look beyond the immediate fringe of admirers. Way back there in the corner there's someone that's as entranced as the rest; she's watching you intensely; legs spread just enough to hike up a skirt and snake a finger or two inside. He's slowly rubbing his cock through his pants and licking his lips with just the very tip of his tongue. Look outside your own box.
Virgo (Aug 23-Sept 22) The New Moon on the 8th will help you to look at things in a new way. New can mean many things; you're not going to re-invent or restart the sexual-revolution as a whole, but you can bring new ways of doing things into your life as you purge the old. You might be very attached to your neon-blue dildo, but it will eventually become as passé as it was risqué to begin with. Go get something new -- how about a double-ender? Maybe a cock-ring? Grease something with some warming-lube and stick it somewhere that hasn't been stuck before. Off you go.
Libra (Sept 23-Oct 22) You will find support and love coming at you from all angles. Perhaps an extra hand or two, maybe a mouth sucking just so, teeth that nibble, a tongue that licks in your softest creases. Wouldn't it be nice to be caressed this way while you're in the process of being hung from the rafters? I think it would.
Scorpio (Oct 23-Nov 21) Work hard this month, as less help is coming your way. You may have to look toward yourself for the support that is coming so easily to other Signs. That's fine, we've done this before, whether it's an elaborate scene set with candles and a glass of wine, or the quick one-off in the car when we're stuck in traffic. We can work out our own frustrations when we have to, and we're quite good at it.
Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21) Time flies fast this month, sometimes a little too fast to meet all the obligations you've signed on for. By all means stop in at that off-ramp motel, fuck your brains out, but you'd better get your ass to the supper table on time. Quiet word -- schedule in your shower time -- and if you show up still wet behind the ears, you better hope it's raining out.
Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19) Stop beating around the bush. Forego the brooding silent routine and let it be known what you want and what you need in a relationship. How can you get what you really want if you don't ask? You let Suzie Q wander away because she thinks there's something up with you wanting her to strap one on and ride you like a cowboy...when in fact you were just not willing to admit out loud that you like the way it feels. When she wanders back into your life this month and says "I was wondering"...tell the truth.
Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18) Persons you involve yourself with now will have an effect on you in the coming months. In fact, will have an effect on you coming in the months ahead. Spend a little more time listening and less time talking, as you can, on occasion, tell too much too soon. They don't need to know exactly what you did with your last partner, although people do tend to do the same sort of things, so they'll probably be able to narrow it down. If you think you can't be topped, or couldn't be, or wouldn't be -- there's something behind that saying "never say never."
Pisces (Feb 19-March 20) Lots of incoming and outgoing emotional issues this month, but you do have the unconditional support of those closest to you. Don't rush things, and always, always look below the surface of the obvious. You should know that as you are more often pegged as the quiet, serious one, and we know what lies in those deep waters. Yes, chances are that the geeky looking guy is a total freak and the little mouse-ette in the library stacks has a clit-ring with just enough weight on it to explain that far-away gaze. Pay attention and listen carefully; you just might hear her coming. Psst -- that's your cue.
©2005 by Nola Summers
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Nola Summers has combined honest to goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and come up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky, pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake.
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