by Nola Summers
(02/04/04)
Aquarius
If there was a land of Aquarians, and you could go there, it would be a place where the men were men, the women were women, and all their partners in every conceivable combination were satisfied. They are a devoted, friendly bunch; open-minded, tolerant, and playful. The less tolerant around them may perceive their spontaneity as being unpredictable and their ability to move on as an inability to commit. Aquarians are intellectual, enjoy good conversation, and can dish out a double-meaning better than most. I once accused an Aquarian of being lazy. He wasn’t, he replied, he’d just lost interest in the task at hand; there were plenty of things he was interested in, and he was quite enthusiastic when involved in them -- well said without actually saying. Not lazy then, but still not a fan of hard work; they’ll order the easy-assemble, easy-stow under the bed St. Andrew’s Cross Kit before they build their own.
All that free-love stuff associated with Aquarius is intriguing isn’t it? Well, go with it if you want, but don’t bother with the pretense that you’re not up to something. If you’re doing the neighbor, or your boss, or your old girlfriend, the pizza delivery guy -- whoever, don’t lie about it. You probably won’t have to stop it, but you’d better tell the truth. Aquarians are delighted by the differences of the world. They will not be wearing matching outfits unless it’s skin against skin. Ever fuck someone when you were completely naked and they were fully dressed? Probably an Aquarian -- gotta love them..
Chain them if you must, just leave the key within reach; they need to know that they are free to go whenever they want. Don’t tell them you’re not done as they head out the door, or they won’t be coming back. Most importantly do not bore them -- they will treat you like you have the plague.
The Aquarian man is an intellectual, and wants a mind to go with the warm body he’s bedding. He’d like you to be right there with him, and you’d better pay attention so you’ll know exactly how it is that you’ve ended up strapped to the coffee table. A veritable roller coaster ride in the bedroom, kitchen, living room, basement; if you’ve missed a spot, he just hasn’t had you there yet.
The Aquarian woman is not far different. You’d better know more than her first name that first time. Don’t even try faking it, because she’ll know, and you’ll be gone faster than you came -- if you even get that far.
The ankles and calves are Aquarian hot spots. Who can resist delicately turned ankles and tapered calve muscles flashing briefly beneath a long slitted skirt; slipping out of the rumpled bed sheets; stretched and straining to reach the very highest shelf? They will be most appreciative that even though you know what’s at the top of that fabulous leg, you are willing to start way down at the bottom.
AQUARIUS-ARIES
Aries aggressiveness coupled with Aquarian inventiveness provides a platform for loads of fun. Neither likes to be controlled or dominated, but Aries can’t help but try, and Aquarius will not have it; not that way, not this way, not if you continue to tell them how it’s going to be.
AQUARIUS-TAURUS
Stop it. No, really, don’t even go there. No. These two are complete opposites. What Taurus needs, Aquarius cannot provide. This pairing is just wrong -- Taurus will even cling too much in the leaving for Aquarius. Just keep moving.
AQUARIUS-GEMINI
Both love to socialize and want a relationship without the upheaval of jealousy and restraint -- but where’s the passion in that? If I let you squeeze your big man feet into my white high heels and dress up as a nurse every night, even that will become boring (and I’ll be out a pair of good shoes). Boredom on both sides is disastrous for these two.
AQUARIUS-CANCER
Cancer feels as unwanted and neglected as can be, since the Aquarian is openly affectionate with everyone. They need much more attention directed their way. As much as Cancer wants to open the cage, they can’t help grabbing a wing as Aquarius flies by. End result -- no tail feather -- empty nest -- no tail.
AQUARIUS-LEO
This is a better situation; lots of hot sex to start things off. The inventiveness that is Aquarius complements Leo’s energy and physicality. An “I’ve been thinking...” and an “I can do...” find each other. No need to ply the other with a glass of wine over a romantic dinner. Call midday and tell them what you’ve been thinking, and by the time you get home they’ll have tied themselves to the bedpost. Things start to unravel when “I am the world,” Aquarius realizes, that to Leo, the world is Leo.
AQUARIUS-VIRGO
There may be a meeting of the minds here, but thigh to thigh, ass to cock, tongue to nipple, hip to hip, won’t press up against each other for long. Oh there’s always the first time or two, but when Aquarius starts bringing home strays, Virgo will change the locks and kick everyone out.
AQUARIUS-LIBRA
Libra won’t change the locks; they’ll have extra keys made. These two are diplomatic enough to maneuver each other. Neither will attempt to curtail the others activities at the risk of losing a partner that tolerates their behavior. Neither minds that there is a rope, as long as no one pulls it back in. They both enjoy socializing, entertainment, and the arts.
They will go to the gallery opening and have fun at the after-party picking out strays together, to bring home and play with.
AQUARIUS-SCORPIO
Hot with a forecast for more heat. To these two, after-sex bruises, and ripped clothing is normal -- and that’s when they’re taking it easy on each other. Scorpio men or women will take as much as they can and give as good as they get as often as they can, and this suits the Aquarian just fine. If Scorpio can control the possessiveness that is their inner demon, then Aquarius may stay.
AQUARIUS-SAGITTARIUS
Practically a free-love, jealousy-free zone. Both want new places, and to have fun with the new faces they find there -- and if it’s dark in the dungeon and they can’t see the face that comes with this new place -- so what! They both may shun the real ties that bind, but will enjoy each other while it lasts.
AQUARIUS-CAPRICORN
Aquarius wants to be free and Capricorn wants to contain. Short-lived at best; but you can’t have a one-night, one-week, one-month stand without someone to have it with, and then there has to be a reason to move on, so these types of pairings are quite necessary in the grand scheme. Go find your beloved soul-mate somewhere else; but for now, could you bend over the arm of that couch and let me in?
AQUARIUS-AQUARIUS
These two do like each other -- but like is not “must have.” It’s the difference between doing it in the commercial and thinking you will drown in your own pussy juice if you don’t have that rock hard cock inside you right fucking now. Can’t speak for everyone of course, but I prefer the later -- repeatedly.
AQUARIUS-PISCES
Pisces, in their inherent dreamy way, will go along with whatever Aquarius dreams up. To keep this going, Aquarius will have to tell Pisces that they love and need them at the breakfast table, and make it as convincing as they did last night when they were on the down stroke of the paddle that they talked their little Fish into wielding. Pisces needs reassurance on a regular basis, and “right there baby, nobody hurts me like you do, I love you,” only works in the heat of the moment.
