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Clean Sheets-ology February 2007 Forecast
by Nola Summers
(02/01/07)
The February 2nd Full Moon in Leo may spur you to redo, and redo, and redo things; you'll keep on licking well past the time you should have rolled over and gone to sleep. If they say they're done, accept that they mean it; let them come again another day. Mercury Retrograde with all its little quirks and delays visits us once again -- from the 13th of February to the 7th of March. In Pisces to begin with, fond memories fill your dreams. A move on February 26 into Aquarius urges a reconnection with issues and people that have moved on. So think about it, sort out the good from the bad then re-bed the still bed-worthy. Is there someone from back in the day that you'd like to slide your fingers into again? The Saturn oppose Neptune aspect on February 28th could leave you feeling somewhat unassertive and vulnerable to those who are less influenced by this configuration. Being the victim or pawn will leave you tired, worn out, and bummed out. Instead of falling prey, use the Neptune energy to delve into more spiritual arenas. Dig out some info on Tantric Sex and experiment with a few things. Have you ever tried just being in someone? Slowing it down so the "in" takes longer than the "getting it in"? I'm sure there's a fancy name for "stick your tongue in my mouth when I'm coming"...but I don't know what it is. Look it up and let me know.
Aries (March 21 -- April 19) What the phuck? They said you can't do what? Are they kidding? But sit back a minute and look at the big picture; yes, that old advice of choosing which fight to fight does hold true. It's right up there with always wear clean underpants -- especially the rubber ones. In fact, you know that you will do whatever you want with whomever you want so go ahead and let someone else set the who, what, and where you'll go Friday/Saturday night rules -- hand them the chisel if they want to set it in stone. The rest of the week's wide open isn't it? It's not like a rule or two has stopped you from doing anything before...a jammed zipper maybe, but not an actual rule.
Taurus (April 20 -- May 20) Good grief, are you expected to have everyone's back? This is exhausting for you but in keeping them solid you're standing on solid ground yourself. There is a difference between a mercy ride and a gratitude ride. You'll know the difference in the speed they stuff their hands down your pants. Are they smiling warmly as you enter them (mercy) or have their eyes rolled back in their sockets as they call for their own personal god (gratitude)? It's called getting what you deserve and even though you haven't helped someone out just to get laid -- you of all people understand that it's not wrong to take it. Well maybe a little wrong -- but not wrong enough to stop you from accepting an offer of gratitude...in whatever glorious form it arrives in.
Gemini (May21 -- June 20) Does it make sense to expect the unexpected? Did you not expect that you would actually let someone lick your ass or did you not expect to like it? Hmmm.....Should you expect that there are other activities you're going to like that you didn't expect you'd find yourself doing? Life is full of opportunities -- especially for those that bend over on a regular basis. I expect that you will remain skeptical about most things. Don't let this natural pessimism rob you of experiences and pleasure. But why, you wonder, do they want to do this to you? You look good, you taste good...and it would make them happy to bury their tongue somewhere in you -- pretty simple when you get right down to it -- which you should do...although I expect you'll spend far too much time thinking about it.
Cancer (June 21 -- July 22) Every once in a while there comes a time when what did work stops working or simply isn't working just right now. What this means to you is that you are going to have to try a little harder to get what you want to get. This doesn't mean working your tongue dry on the same spot till you're both worn out; you may have to take the scenic route to a destination that was just right there. Take a Sunday afternoon skin drive and leave a wet trail of warm breath down their thigh, behind their knee, nibble at their calf, suck a toe or two, and go right back up the other side. If you take the first step in actually asking what the problem is it might erase the problem; they'll be so happy you actually asked that they might just see the way clear to do that other thing you've been asking for. Lube: check. Rubber gloves: check. You are a naughty thing.
Leo (July 23 -- August 22) Are there people out there that dress up as Sherlock Holmes instead of the French maid or manservant? People who get hard and wet from solving tricks and puzzles -- if there are you'll feel like you've joined their special club this month. Even though you may tire of the seemingly endless games and thinly veiled innuendos, don't doubt your ability to see what's really what. Was it Colonel Mustard in the library with the candlestick? No doubt you'll figure it out, but in the meantime there's a hot piece of librarian in the corner book stacks sucking the end of a pencil with a mouth that should be filled with something besides an HB rubber eraser. Do you need to buy a clue or a vowel or anything or can you figure this one out by yourself?
Virgo (August 23 -- September 22) Take care of relationships and "things" you've already got going. Valentine's Day its self may require careful planning if you've got too many "things" on the go. It's a wonderful time to see what comes your way, just be aware that others are also watching for what may come your way. Less is more this month -- in the right touch, the right look, and the right words. Don't tie yourself up by spinning an elaborate explanation that will be hard to remember or to prove. Remember this -- if you stick to making love to yourself for a little while you won't have to lie about where you've been.
Libra (September 23 -- October 22) Once again the travel bug bites you -- you still want to go somewhere. On the other hand you might just want to move house -- or beds. The question is whether you want to go solo or join forces and become a significant other. Ponder this thoroughly before you decide -- the world really is a much smaller place than it seems. That bed you're thinking of sleeping in every night can be too small for all the sexual gymnastics you get up to or as vast as an ocean when the getting down is getting as close to over as it can be. Communicate better with ones you have before you decide to go communicate with someone else.
Scorpio (October 23 -- November 21) Pay attention to yourself and your own desires this month. It's not so much that you need constant variety you just bore easily. It's not so much that others bore you; more so that what is being done is becoming boring. You could, instead of doing the entire switch up -- just simply switch up the routine. Yes, getting it hard and fast from behind is great, just not when it's the same way every time. Now, if you're reading this and thinking that you'll take it if they don't want it; just remember to pass it back when you get tired of it yourself. It's a rare Scorpio that will actually share someone, so if you're really considering it you may truly be bored and ready to move on.
Sagittarius (November 22 -- December 21) It's not your birthday anymore, and Christmas is past but Valentine's Day is on its way. Even though you do like to do unto others you should lay back and let others do to you. Not the newly acquainted, but those that have been around for awhile. They're the ones that know what you meant when you said that thing you shouldn't have said the way that you said it. "I love your big juicy ass." They know you meant that falling between those cheeks is Nirvana, not that your butt is too big. The new ones don't get you yet, nor do they know that bird-basket hand move that gets you off first time every time. So many things to teach; so many students and so little time; better go back and do a few refresher courses. We'll call it...um...a professional development night. .
Capricorn (December 22 -- January 19) Your ability to charm all you meet right out of their boxers or panties is extremely high. Be prepared to take advantage of all opportunities as they arrive. Find a little hidey hole and stock it with lube, dental dams, clips, blind folds, cuffs, condoms, and whatever else you think you might need for a night away from home. If you're prepared for any situation you'll be halfway to blissful coming before the next person even figures out you've passed them. Unless, you're standing on the side of the road trying to explain to a state trooper what this bag of goodies is for. Hope you're into that whole uniform thing.
Aquarius (January 20 -- February 18) 2007 really is going to be a year of new things, new people, and new ways of doing things. And "new to you" or "new to them" is going to be the more normal scenario. They're not going to come up with a new way of fucking (beyond the cyber stuff they've already designed) but things will be different for many of us. Unusual opportunities will arrive; you may find yourself brokering relationships between other people and end up literally in the middle -- hot flesh pressed up back and front. Include your self in pleasurable situations you organize for everyone else. Even if everyone knows who everyone's going to end up inside of try not to rush things during this retrograde period. Remember, all things in time, and timing is everything.
Pisces (February 19 -- March 20) When you serve your love up on gold-rimmed bone china and get a brown-bag lunch in return, you need to reread the menu and be more specific about what you're ordering. Ask for what you want. Whipped not spanked; fucked not teased. If you've been lining up at the upscale "in" place to be seen, little face pressed up against the window wanting some of that, you may be overlooking the cozy little place right round the corner with its fragrant, spicy, exotic, finger-licking good food. Entry is limited to an exclusive few but all you'll have to do is sit down at the table and say you want some....please. Note: the best dishes are not actually on a menu.
©2007 by Nola Summers
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Nola Summers combined honest-to-goodness research with time spent on her back gazing at the heavens, and came up with a few ideas of her own on the sexual ins and outs of our individual astrological signs. Her work is never-ending, as the stars and planets continue to move across the sky pulling unsuspecting lovers in their wake. She is a Contributing Editor and Astrologer for Clean Sheets and a Staff Writer for Pulp Magazine. You are invited to visit her MySpace space and her Web site.
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