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Dave's High School Graduation Gift To Himself
by Steve Meador
(06/02/10)
 For
a couple months he began the tale with exactly the same words, "The room smelled like
orgasm." At first the line rivaled the famous, "It was a dark and stormy night."
It was the continually varying balance of the story that created a new theme, "Give me
some hip boots, the bullshit is flowing." Anyway, first, he paid his money and was
asked to take a seat in the lobby, like at a doctor's office. Later versions had
him selecting the hottest babe from a lineup of top-quality sluts. Originally,
he went to the room with his Miss fucking America and she made him drop his
pants, under which was no underwear. That progressed to dropping his pants and his
briefs, to dropping his pants, revealing his manly boxers (The boys had to breathe!),
which the pimply-faced bitch ripped down so fast he got a skin burn from the
elastic waistband. She grabbed his crank and checked it thoroughly for scabs
and pus, then handed him an alcohol rub so he could scrub up. The first
account had his bratwurst only a couple inches from her face. That scene
expanded to him standing about a foot and a half distance as she
performed the exam on his stretched-out kielbasa, with it nearly poking
her eye out before she played kitty-kitty and licked the tomcat clean.
Well, there was one unchanged happening. Her moans and groans and blood-curdling
screams nearly cracked the plaster as he gave that two-bit whore everything
she deserved. At a reunion, 35 years later, he lamented about the old whorehouse
in Ft. Wayne, how it had been condemned by the city and bulldozed. I bought
him a beer and said maybe all those screams had fractured the foundation.
©2010 by Steve Meador
Reader
Comments
Steve Meador's book, Throwing Percy from the Cherry Tree, released by
D-N Publishing in 2008, was an entrant for a National Book Award and a
Pulitzer Prize for poetry. He has been widely published, in print and
online, resulting in multiple Pushcart and other nominations. Pudding
House released two of his chapbooks in 2007.
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