by Shannon Kizzia
(10/13/04)
It's when she thumbs into the fold of my labia and parts me for her
tongue that I realize my vows are all wrong.
To love and cherish until death do us part? To have and to hold in
friendship, companionship, and devotion?
More like: To fuck and to lick till orgasm doth rend you asunder.
To part my thighs for your mouth nightly and come on your holy name.
To clasp my legs around your head and ride you through till dawn or
death or whichever comes first.
To coat your sweet face with my slick and howl under crescent moons till
my throat goes raw.
I had it all wrong. I see that now as I lift my head and see her back,
dappled electric from the computer's light, working to bring me off,
body clenched, tongue lapping serpentine, rhythmic, thirsty. Safe and
held are not the places our love stains. Within the sinews of our
bodies, galaxies part like waves to reveal goddesses underneath. You
can't write that into law.
I rock on her open mouth, keening, grasping, my heels kicking at her
shoulders. Fuck white dresses and linking my arm through my father's
as
if we know each other! Fuck veils and aunts weeping and sanctions and
lies! Fuck eons of women marching forward -- step-touch, step-touch --
marching dully to cleave unto the side of another, sewn there, an extra
rib!
"Fuckfuckfuck..." I chant. Her tongue has found the hood of my clit
now and she's massaging it back, lick by lick.
Fuck vows and always and sour laws on old men's breath!
Fuck George W!!! Fuck Washington and Jefferson and the brutal murder
of compassion's full heart!
I vow to change and shift, to remember kindness grows inside me every
day and you're there to help me let it out to shine. I vow to sustain
you when I'm high, be sustained when I falter. To laugh! Oh, sweet,
to
laugh. To always carry a song under my tongue for you. To leave if I
can't stop hurting you. I give you my attention, the overflow of my
heart. I vow to be silly and real and to ignite your faith when demons
growl
at your ear.
She lifts her head, panting, wet with me. She sighs, "Kelly..." I'll
come if she just licks there three more times.
One...two...
I shake, and she holds tight to my legs. I make her tremble. She
comes
to lie next to me, sheets loose, unnecessary.
Tomorrow I'll rewrite my vows, and then I'll say them. They'll burn in
the air. We'll kiss, mouths wet and licked pink. She'll hold my hand
loosely. Her palm will be warm. She'll smile at me, and I'll vow
never
to vow again.
Runner-up in the Sex & Politics Writing Contest
