by Mike Kimera
(05/21/02)
"So what was your best?"
"Best what?"
"Best erotic experience."
Mark is a sex bore. He talks about it so much it's a wonder he gets
time
to do it.
"Mine was with two Swedish twins in a sauna," he says, leaning towards
me
conspiratorially. "I'd added a day to a Swiss business trip to get some
skiing in and these two and I were first back to the hotel from the
piste.
Well, you know how the Europeans are with saunas, everyone together and
no
clothes allowed. Just one of these girls would have been amazing -- snow
white hair, all-over tan and sleek body -- but twins! I thought I'd died
and gone to pussy heaven."
I hate men who say pussy like that. Like a woman starts and ends at her
cunt. But I've known Mark since grade school, so I give him some
latitude.
Turning slightly away from him, I look toward the lake where my wife, Helen, and
Barbara are sunning themselves. They are the best of friends, and they
tell
each other everything. I want to sit quietly beside them and listen to
their talk. Instead I am standing next to Mark at the BarBQ pit,
burning
burgers.
"So anyway, the shock came when the first one took me inside her. In
the
heat of the sauna her pussy felt cool. No shit. Cool pussy from an
ice maiden in a sauna. How sexy is that! Then, when her sister joined
in..."
I think Mark is making this up. Maybe the twins were real. Maybe he
even
saw them in the sauna. But I want to believe that he doesn't cheat on
Barbara on his business trips.
I am a little in love with Barbara. Helen pointed it out to me one
night
as we drove back from dinner at their house. She said that she'd
noticed
that Barbara is always the last person I look at in a room, and that I
avoid being alone with her, both sure signs of my attraction. Denial
would
have been pointless; Helen knows me too well. After a few seconds of
guilt-ridden silence, Helen pulled the car over to the side of the
road,
and right there, on a tree-lined suburban street, where nice neighbors
repaint their picket fences every spring, she fucked me. She didn't say
a
word. Mouth on mine, she freed my cock, pushed aside her panties and
rode
me. I came like a boy. She grinned at me, held my face in her hands and
said, "If you ever call me Barbara while we fuck, I'll cut your dick
off."
Then she drove us home.
Only when Mark says, "Your turn," do I realise I've missed his
sauna-sex
story, and he is now waiting for mine.
"Come on Pete", he says, "even a terminally married man like you must
have
had some erotic adventures. 'Fess up"
An image of Helen blossoms in my mind. She is nineteen and has just let
me
fuck her for the first time. She'd insisted that we use her parents'
bed.
"It will make up for all the times I've had to listen to them
screwing,"
she'd said as she led me into the master bedroom. I am lying on my
back,
wrists still tied to the headboard, sated and happy, watching her
between
half closed eyes, pretending to be asleep. She is sitting at her
mother's
dressing table, brushing her long black hair. The sun streaming through
the window behind her seems to me to be a kind of halo. She leans her
head
to one side so that she can push the comb through the full length of
her
thick glossy hair. This causes one small upturned breast to push off
the
silk robe that Helen has "borrowed" from her mother, and to stretch
triumphantly up towards the sun. I am hypnotised by the play of light
on
her hair; the smooth movement of her arm as she wields the brush and
the
slight but attention-grabbing movement of her silhouetted breast. She
puts
the brush back on the dressing table, looks at me and smiles. Many
times
since, I have returned to that moment of still happiness, crowned with
the
love in her smile.
"Well?" Mark says.
"Sorry Mark," I say, "nobody seems to want erotic adventures with me."
I mean it as a playful way of changing the subject. Mark takes me
literally.
"I don't know," he says, "you're not bad looking. I know Barbara thinks
you're sexy. You just need to read the signs."
"I think the food is ready now," I say, gathering the
half-burnt/half-frozen products of Mark's culinary skill onto plates.
"You must have been tempted. At least once," Mark says.
"I'm happily married Mark. Temptation is easy enough to overcome."
"Ah yes," Mark says, "I'd forgotten about the 'Peter Brader,
man-of-steel'
act."
I start to walk back towards the lake, hoping to bring an end to the
conversation before we get in to a fight. Mark has always taken my
abstinence from casual sex as a personal affront. Briefly I wonder if
he
thinks it's all an act and I'm just refusing to share the details with
him.
"Barbara really does think you're sexy, you know."
I stop and look at him. He laughs.
"No need to look so horrified. She's not going to rape you or anything.
But she told me that she admires your serenity. Isn't that a great
phrase?
Admires your serenity."
I try for a wry smile but Mark is already striding ahead of me, so it is
lost on him.
"OK girls, the hunters have returned with freshly charred dead animals
for
their women to feast upon," he shouts.
Sometimes I think Mark is locked in a parallel dimension. The "girls",
both in their late twenties, exchange pained glances at Mark's return,
but
he either doesn't notice or doesn't care.
This meal is a tradition amongst us going back eight years, to when we
were both newly married couples. Every Memorial Day we drive out to the
lake and have a barbecue on the public beach. Back then we slept in our
trucks and drank beer with our burgers. Now we rent a large cabin and
sip
Pinot Noir. Sometimes I think the burgers are the last talisman of the
days when we had more hope than history.
I have my head in Helen's lap. She smells of sunshine and cotton. I
relax,
content to listen to her telling Barbara stories about the people in
her
office. I have never visited Helen's office. I am reluctant to have
reality superimposed on the vivid images I have of her colleagues.
Barbara
and Helen used to work together, and Helen introduced Barbara to Mark.
When Barbara laughs at the punchline of Helen's story, it is a raucous
laugh that seems to escape from her. I turn my head slightly, knowing
that
Barbara will have one hand in front of her face. Helen feels me move,
recognises the reason, and unseen by the others, pinches my earlobe as
she
pulls me back to my original position. I look up at her. She mouths the
word "later" and I shiver at the thought.
Despite Helen's admonition, I find myself wondering about Barbara's
laugh.
It reminds me of Miss Honeychurch in "Room With a View", whose
passionate
nature is discernible only by the way in which she plays piano. With a
stab of guilt, accompanied by a sudden erection, I have a flash of
Barbara
coming as raucously as she laughs.
On our second year out here, we almost got into a group thing. We'd
stopped talking and started kissing, still in couples but with each
couple
acutely aware of the presence of the other. I left the decision to
Helen,
who in turn looked to Barbara. Mark was thinking with his cock and
pushed
up Barbara's T-shirt to take her nipple into his mouth. The discomfort
on
Barbara's face was obvious.
Helen grabbed me by the belt and said, more loudly than she needed to,
"Come on Peter, I need a bed to tie you to."
I was happy to leave. Barbara smiled her gratitude while trying to keep
Mark's fingers out of her shorts. Civilised man that I am, I still
could
not erase the sight of Barbara's stiff nipple topping a small neat
breast
that just demanded to be taken into my mouth. Helen knew what I was
thinking. When she rode me she held my nipples between her fingernails
and
used them like a bridle. I was sore for a week but my cock was made of
ivory that night.
The scene was never repeated. Barbara confided in Helen her
embarrassment
at how Mark fucks her. I was puzzled when Helen passed on the remark.
She
just laughed and said, "Well, you've seen him dance haven't you?" Mark
thinks he dances like John Travolta, but he looks more like Fred
Flintstone. He dances vigorously, with his eyes closed, paying little
attention to either his partner or the rhythm of the music. The
magnitude
of the criticism made my balls retract.
I am constantly amazed at what women tell each other. Men brag, women
tell
the truth. It's a frightening thought.
A tinny rendition of the James Bond theme fractures the silence. Mark
has
brought his cellphone, even on Memorial Day. Barbara glares at him, but
he
turns his back on her and takes the call. Mark uses an earpiece on his
phone. He says he doesn't want to fry the brain cells that survived the
drugs. He looks demented as he paces in a circle, apparently talking to
himself.
We overhear enough of the conversation to know that he has been
summoned
back to the city by some European emergency that he must respond to at
once. I wonder at that -- it's 9 p.m. in Berlin right now. It occurs to me
that
I have just seen a piece of performance art. Maybe Mark doesn't make
his
adventures up. Perhaps there is someone waiting for him even now in a
city
center hotel room.
To my surprise, Barbara lets Mark go without complaint -- she just sits
and
watches as he takes the car, leaving her behind like luggage that we
will
forward to him later.
"I'm going to lie down in the cabin for a while," Barbara says once the
car is out of sight.
"Are you OK?" I say. Dumb question. Helen digs her fingers into my side
to
tell me to shut up.
"No Peter, I'm not OK, but I'm trying to get used to it. Not everyone
has
a marriage like yours. I live with a man who never touches me, but who
tries to fuck anything female that can move without a zimmer frame. He
doesn't even have the tact not to embarrass me in front of my friends.
So
I'm trying to preserve my dignity by not letting myself cry until I get
back to my room."
Barbara's eyes are wet, but she is standing straight and her voice is
strong and clear. She holds my gaze until I look away, then she picks
up a
bottle of wine and heads back to the cabin. Helen follows her. They
talk
quietly but passionately. I can't hear what is said. Then they hug in
that
way that women do, halfway between a caress and a handshake.
Helen waits, head on one side, hands on her hips, for my questions. I
don't ask any. She looks at me for the longest time. I seldom know what
she is thinking. She moves to stand in front of me, tilts my head down
towards hers and says, "I love you, Peter Brader."
We give Barbara an hour before we return to the cabin. I head into the
kitchen to clear away the debris of our meal. Helen goes to check on
Barbara. I have just loaded the dishwasher when I hear Helen say, "Come
here, Peter."
I know from her tone that we have started to play. I am
surprised, but out of long habit I go to her and wait, eyes downcast, for her
instructions. I love surrendering to her like this. My cock is already
thickening and my heartbeat is elevated. It is so exciting not to know
what will happen next. Even so, I am concerned. Surely she's not going
to
take me here, in the main room. The thought worries and thrills me at
the
same time.
"Strip, Peter."
Helen has never done this before. On our Memorial Day weekends she has
always
used the bedroom for our fucking.
I don't look at her or speak as I strip. I feel exposed standing there,
my
cock sending semaphore signals of desire to my mistress.
"Put your hands behind your back," Helen says.
The steel cuffs Helen produces from her bag are cold against my wrists.
They make me feel pleasantly helpless.
"Peter, I want you to stay hard as long as you can. Let me help you,"
She
ties a soft leather strap around my balls. My cock trembles at her
touch.
She grins and plants a chaste little kiss just underneath the head.
I wait for her to undress. She doesn't. Instead she reaches into her
bag
and pulls out a scarf. Standing behind me she blindfolds me with the
scarf. I feel her breath on my neck. Her teeth sink into my earlobe as
her
fist closes around my cock. I groan.
"You wanted Barbara today didn't you," she says.
I nod.
"Say it. Tell me what you were thinking"
"I wanted to know how she sounds when she comes," I say.
She lets go of my cock. A cool finger probes my anus.
"So you prefer her to me?"
"No. I love you. I need you."
"But...?"
"But I like Barbara."
"Would you like her to fuck you?"
"Yes," I say. I think I know where Helen is going with this but I can't
believe she really means it.
Helen kisses me; a deep, slow kiss, exploring my mouth with hers.
Except
it is not Helen. Helen is still behind me.
The kissing stops. Before I can speak Helen presses against my back and
whispers, "It will be OK Peter. Trust me." I nod my head slightly and
she
whispers "Thank you."
I understand the blindfold. It gives us the option to pretend that none
of
this has happened.
No one is touching me now. I wait. I assume the women are undressing. I
wonder if they are touching. Suddenly it occurs to me that over the
years they may have done more than just touch. My mind doubts that
this
is true, Helen would have told me, but my cock goes with the image and
twitches ludicrously.
A hand, strong and purposeful, pushes on my shoulder, signalling for me
to
kneel. The floor is hard on my knees. I won't be able to do this for
long.
I recognise the smell of Helen's sex, seconds before it is pressed
against
my face. She holds my head and rubs herself against me. My tongue
presents
itself for use. She presses her labia against my mouth until my head is
forced backwards. She rubs me in a figure of eight against her sex,
then
she is gone.
Seconds later another sex is pressed against my mouth. To my surprise
it
smells and tastes just like the first. Maybe I can't tell the
difference
between Helen and Barbara. Maybe Helen is returning to confuse me. The
message is clear enough: stop trying to analyse, go with the flow, be
the
moment, let the sex flow through you. That message is at the heart of
my
sexuality, and I recognise it as their gift to me.
Hands guide me to lie first on my side and then on my back. Cushions
are
placed under my head and my butt. Care is taken to ensure that I am
never
touched by both women at the same time. I could let myself imagine that
there is only Helen or only Barbara, but now is the time for feeling,
not
imagining.
A mouth suckles my nipple. The sound of it is loud against the eerie
silence that possesses us like a spell. The tongue moves down my belly
slowly, skilfully, until it reaches my pubic hair, then it goes away. A
hand, warm, strong, grips my cock around the shaft. The palm of a
second
hand rubs my precum over the head of my cock, making me wriggle and
moan.
It takes effort not to come, but I control myself.
Attention shifts from my cock to my mouth. Swift butterfly kisses that
make me smile. Then tickling. Tickling that goes on until I am giggling
helplessly with tears wetting my blindfold.
I am allowed to get my breath back, then I am mounted. My cock slides
into
ripe wetness that grabs at me eagerly. Hands on my chest. Thighs around
my
legs. Deep forceful strokes, followed, after the shortest of times, by
a
tremor of passion that passes through to my bones. She falls forward on
to
me, sweat-slick breasts sliding over me, teeth nipping at my neck.
Then she rolls off me, leaving my cock straining for relief, my body
demanding stimulus. Both are granted by the mouth that envelops my
cock
and the swollen labia that descend upon my face. I lick eagerly at
first,
then become distracted by the play of teeth and tongue and lips upon my
cock.
I break the spell of silence, begging to be allowed to come. The mouth
releases me as she slides down my body and impales herself on my cock.
She
does not move, but she squeezes me with her cunt, milking me
irresistibly.
She is moaning now, but quietly, as if she were gagged. Her hands are
on
my ankles; her cunt is pressed hard against my pubis. When I start to
come, her grip on my ankles tightens and I hear a groan that starts in
the
back of her throat and becomes an explosive "Fuck!" She stays on me
until
my cock softens, then she lets it slide out.
I am exhausted. Cool fingers undo the leather around my balls. My cock
is
patted gently, like a Labrador being rewarded for performing a favorite
trick. I find it hard to focus. My awareness always ebbs after I come.
I am being helped up and lead somewhere. A bed. Fresh clean linen. The
bed
feels so comforting after the hardness of the floor. My hands are
uncuffed. My arms are massaged vigorously and asexually. Scarves are
used
to tie my wrists to the headboard.
I am ready to give way to sleep when I hear that unmistakable buzz
followed by the smell of lubricated latex. My asshole clenches in
anticipation.
"Spread, Peter," Helen's voice. A calm command she knows will be
obeyed.
The vibrator is slim and has a slight curve. It is perfect for
stimulating
the prostate. I relax and let it slide in, wondering who is holding it.
My
tired cock starts to rally. I think I hear a giggle from beside the
bed,
but I am distracted by having my balls sucked one after the other.
My brain is fuzzy. I want to sleep. I want to fuck forever. I turn down
the noise in my mind and focus on the cunt that is now raising and
lowering itself on my cock. I have no control over the pace. I am a
flesh
dildo. I am happy.
With the vibrator in place, I manage to stay hard until after she comes.
I
am rewarded with a skilful handjob that drains my balls and takes the
last of my energy.
I hear Helen say, "You can sleep now Peter," and I know the game is
over.
As sleep washes over me, I think I hear a different voice say, very
quietly, "Thank you."
I sleep late. When I awake my hands are free, the blindfold is gone, my
ass is sore and my memory is confused. Before I can get out of bed,
Helen
and Barbara, both fully dressed and looking refreshed and relaxed,
bring
me breakfast on a tray.
"Good morning sleepyhead," Helen says. "We've brought you something to
build up your strength."
"Do I need building up?" I ask.
Helen ignores the question and hands me a glass of cold OJ. Barbara is
standing at the foot of the bed. She is smiling, not broadly, but
persistently. I doubt she is aware of it.
"Barbara is going to come and stay with us for a while," Helen says.
I look at both of them. Helen posed it as a statement, but we all know
it
was a question. The silence continues while I think about it.
"It's only until I decide what to do about Mark," Barbara says, "Helen
thought I could stay in the guest room for a while."
I think about how long I have known Mark and yet how little I really
like
him. I consider how comfortable Helen and Barbara are together. I
remember
the carefully anonymous passion we shared last night. I know that if I
say
yes, it will change things forever in ways that I can't yet predict.
"I'm sorry about you and Mark," I say to Barbara, "but I'm glad you're
coming to stay. I'm sure we'll work something out."
The look on Helen's face tells me I've done the right thing. I don't
know
if last night will be repeated. I trust Helen to work that out. I do
know
that I am still naked under the bedclothes and that I desperately need
to
use the bathroom.
"If you ladies will excuse me," I say, "I have some urgent business to
attend to, privately."
Helen grins and leads Barbara by the elbow, saying, "A man's gotta do
what
a man's gotta do," in a terrible John Wayne accent.
Barbara picks up the theme and says, "Yep, and there are some things a
man
must do alone." They are both laughing as they leave the room.
I'm still not sure what I've just agreed to, but however it turns out,
it
won't be dull. I head off to the bathroom, whistling happily.