by Sue Cady-York
(08/17/05)
Bring me to the edge of come. I love coming, but if I don't come all the way -- the big quiver-shiver -- then bring me to the edge of come.
Freud left out the chapter on "Clit Envy" -- talk about a Freudian slip. At Toys in Babeland, my church on Mercer Street in Soho, you can see, touch, and play with endless toys that are an ode to the clitoris. If you don't have a clit, I understand your envy. The clitoris is the only organ that has just one function, and that is pleasure, so prepare to worship! Go buy toys, books, or take classes on stimulating yours or someone else's clit, G-spot, front door, back door, or doors you closed and padlocked that are longing to be opened. Go to Toys in Babeland and just look. It's free, mind expanding, and you will also raise your sexual IQ.
I love reading, and to have great sex by yourself or with someone else, reading is a must. There are endless books with pointers and tips, or just hot erotica and porno made for every possible target audience imaginable. I enjoyed reading Down and Dirty Sex Secrets by Tristan Taormino, and if you can't get to the G-spot female ejaculation workshops at Babes, then reading her book can give you some clit-adoration you might not have considered. Box Lunch by Diana Cage is a wild book to munch on, although Diana doesn't have my favorite tip for eating pussy -- telling the woman her pussy is beautiful! Before you dive in, a wonderful way to start the verbal intercourse is "pussy praise" -- but then don't dive straight for the clit. Say hello with a gentle high five! Violet Blue's book The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus does focus on pussy praise. Violet addresses all aspects of pussylingus, including pussy-anxiety, and is the most helpful book for women, no matter what their sexual orientation, to overcome any vaginal angst and obtain a healthy vaginal ecosystem, including using the most vagina-friendly soaps. The Multi-Orgasmic Woman has the best meditation and breathing exercises, including sending your vagina, or any part of your body, a smile. Her co-author penned The Multi-Orgasmic Man.
Any books by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy are worth the read, and my favorite is The Ethical Slut. Their books are like having a best friend, lover, and parent help you to understand and set boundaries.
Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man is a must-read for those who want to give good head, and who appreciate a good sense of humor. This book combines a funny bone and a big boner, and they are double-delicious. Like two scoops of Ben and Jerry's ice cream...which brings me to whipped cream. Whipped cream is one of my favorite sexual accessories. Spray it on him and spray it on you -- if a guy isn't going to give praise, lick, and pray at the altar of your pussy, then don't bother using your book prowess on him. He won't muff dive? He just blew getting blown. The "ugly balls syndrome" is a dude that taketh and doesn't giveth. Going Down by Ben R. Rogers and Joel Perry gives you great sex tips, with humor, and after reading it you will, to quote a chapter heading, "Blow His Mind."
"Smart Balls" is a highly recommended toy that tones your Kegel muscles and massages your G-spot. Yes, you will have a smarter pussy...at least 5, 10 vaginal IQ points for sure. A gorgeous lipstick lesbian friend asked me what Smart Balls were -- I told her that Smart Balls are the BMW of ben-wa balls, and a must for your box.
I love to scream with pleasure. When I am out on the street, I sometimes let out a joyous yell, and it feels so good to be a woman in New York City screaming because I am happy. I consider it positive noise pollution, or a way to take back some power. How the hell can you let go in bed if you are always holding back your passion all the time? If you raise your shoulders to your ears right now and then release and sigh...do it again and really let it rip...a sigh, or even better, a scream, it can help you in bed. Shallow breathers -- start doing it bigger -- as in breathe! The yoga "fire breath" is a great breathing exercise. Breathing helps big-time, but screaming takes it to another level completely.
Coming is incredible, and there are so many kinds of orgasm, from the mini-o that is a vibrator-jaded-o, that's nice, to the earth shattering quiver-shiver that you feel from your head to your toes, your breasts, and tummy, your nipples, and pussy tingle, and you have those wonderful Kegel-convulsions. Touch my G-spot and bring me to the edge of come. If I can't jump over the edge, I love just hanging out there on the edge of come, the precipice of bliss. I can joyously perch there in all the wetness and hardness on the edge of come for a very long time.
