by Really Grown Up Big Sister
(10/18/00)

We've hinted around about it, but we've never actually introduced you to our bratty new sibling, Strange Horizons. We do not like it.

It stole Mom's attention straight off. First she gives it all the cool new graphics toys, then she shows it off to all our friends, and some of them turn out to like the gurgling, drooling, pinkly-wrinkley little menace. "Ooh, Speculative Fiction, cool science, new video games," they say, making disgusting cooing noises and turning all glassy eyed as it screams and wets its diapers. They were never actually our friends -- not really.

Then Mom gives it a bedroom and server toys all to itself; no sharing with the inlaws, no hand-me-downs, no "wait 'till you're older." Nothing's too good for the precious little parasite.

And guess what? It turns out to be a disgusting little preppy. Sex, sin, and lechery? Not in its school-uniformed life. Science fiction/fantasy, articles, galleries, reviews, editorials, and all its first photos together in a cool new album. No fair.

We're the best. Really. So don't even visit. Stay here and play with us. We're going to put arsenic in its bottle, and then everything will be okay again.

And that's the truth. Ptthhhhh.