$2.99
available through
Smashwords
Reviewed by Brian Peters
(8/27/11)
We all love Lily Lick here, and we're not ashamed to say it. She managed somehow to get our sweaty, focused attention back to a part of pop culture that we'd been paging quickly past looking for porn.
If you're old enough to remember newspapers and magazines printed on paper (and Lily isn't saying, but perhaps she is), you remember the astrology column. Deadly dull ersatz relationship bromides, written in a code not worth cracking, and sandwiched in somewhere between advice for the lovelorn and the comics. Generally it had all the charm of a fortune cookie, except without the brevity, the wit, or the sweetened cardboard-like shell to munch on. Bad girls didn't dream it, and bad boys little reptile-brain-directed fingers kept paging for the underwear models. As far as we know, the closest it ever got to sexy was as "what's your sign" cocktail party chatter, and we're not totally sure those folks could read, anyway.
Then Lily Lick's Love Signs changed all that. Bumping, grinding, 24/7 sex-obsessed characters humping all over the night sky, and all we needed was our birth date to get a ticket to the show. This beat making out in the dark at the planetarium by a long ways -- not that we're asking you to give that up or anything.
Now Lily has given us an e-book (well, practically given: at $2.99 a copy you and your soon-to-be-between-the-sheets partner couldn't even to-go three items from the value menu for your twisted creative pleasure, and you know it). Mind you, it's not a bunch of Lily's column reprints -- not that we'd mind that either. These are twelve fully-formed, securely-horny-with-exquisite-rough-edges characters and Lily's best guesses on how they'll interact, lube, claw, and restrain each other.
Confident and formidable as the descriptions are unto themselves, the interactions between the signs are decidedly the best; always rough and tumble, and without resort to fairy-tale endings. Take Aries-Libra, for example:
Both like the finer things in life -- why do the wild thing on the floor when there's this big satin-sheeted comfy bed? Why slip and slide on the tiles in a steamy shower when you can languish together in a yummy bubble bath; each will make the effort to please the other even if it takes all night, in fact why not take all night and do it right all three times --no make that four. Does that sticky morning wakeup call count for today or is it included in last night's count? Aries natives require constant adoration so while working the room, Libra will have to remember to come back to them and privately work a finger in somewhere wet, squeeze a cock, or discretely pinch a nipple or both, thus letting ever watchful Aries Babies (and I mean that quite literally) know they haven't been forgotten.
And the story continues through a twelve by twelve matrix of slippery, crying out, whimpering, strutting characters, between and above the sheets, in the kitchen, and in the park fountain. As Lily puts it best, "...don't you want to know?"
