by William Dean
(12/08/04)
The old saying "Give 'til it hurts" takes on new meaning among the kinksters as we swing into the Kris Kringle season once more. If you find more folks crowding onto your "nicely naughty" gift-giving list, you might be getting flummoxed as to what could possibly be appropriate, fun, and seductive. Well, have no fear. We're happy to stroll the aisles for you and offer our suggestive suggestions.
Whether they're neophytes, fuck buddies, or 24/7 veterans, there are definitely gift goodies for everyone to get their jollies and, not surprisingly, many of them come from Toys in Babeland. Prompted up by Santa's favorite helpers, Anne Semans and Rebecca Suzanne, at Babeland, Clean Sheets got to play test marketer elf with a whole gift basket of salacious toys and accessories for the sexiest holidays.
There'll be no end to volunteers to be Santa's fashionable sub -- who can resist his snappy sleigh whip and those fur-topped boots! Any sub will look sugar plum dreamy in the Panther Collar and Cuffs set. Smooth, comfortable black leather is accented with gleaming silvery studs, lockable buckles, and multiple classic D-rings. You may want to further accessorize (as I did) with Babeland's Tweezer Clamps. These are sliding bar type (so you can easily adjust pressure on nipples, lips, or anywhere) and attached by a gleaming silver-colored, heavy-duty chain, which neatly slides through the Panther collar D-ring. Yum!
While they may not jingle like a sleigh bell's ring, cock rings are doubtless a gift that keeps on giving. Babeland's Megastretch one-size-fits-all cock ring is a delightful stocking stuffer with promise of pleasures to come. The black, super stretchy ring has nubs around the circle and it looks incredibly sexy when paired with a black Midnight condom. Spread a few drops from one of the handy (and tasty!) Wet Flavored Lube Samplers (pick from Pina Colada, Wine Grape, Sweet Cherry, Passion or Tropical Fruit, or three others -- they're even sugar free!) and the smooth, glossy feel is simply Santa-licious.
If you're feeling extra generous or you really want to impress that special guy, you can detour off to freddyandeddy.com and select one of the fabulous Gear Essential steel cock rings extraordinaire. These babies are totally impressive and range from the bright, polished chrome "slim-line" Titan to the truly inspiring Omega. I've tried both and, believe me, lovers go ga-ga when you're carrying almost a pound of brushed steel encircling your cock and balls. The rings all come in spiffy metal canisters embossed with the Gear Essentials logo and are priced reasonably from $27 to $48 each.
And while we're talking high-class gifts, let's stroll back to Babeland and take a peek (or a long, lingering gaze) at my top-of-the-list suggestion. It's The Fashionistas. This astounding, multiple-award winning DVD offers four hours plus of the best fetish work I've seen. It stars Bella Donna, Taylor St. Claire, the irrepressibly inexhaustible Rocco Siffredi, Caroline Pierce, and Chelsea Blue and is directed by John Stagliano. The Fashionistas won 10 AVN Awards, including Best Film. The ostensibly two-disc set also includes two bonus discs of sex scenes and soundtrack, commentaries, behind-the-scenes looks, and even some hidden Easter Eggs (can you find them all?). Finding this under the XXXmas tree is sure to knock the socks, pants, dress, or underwear off any deserving giftee. It's a big-ticket item, but you'll still have some change left over, I'll bet, to add a handy packet of special Babeland condoms, too!
Toys in Babeland has really taken the fret out of holiday gift-giving, too, by putting together a series of gift baskets that eschew the tired old fruit cake, candies, and nuts variety! I highly recommend the Hands-On Holiday pack for festive frolic. Tossing the Dirty Dice included will no doubt slip right into using the Charlie Sunshine Massage Oil, then you can get down with messier fun with the set of Edible Body Paints (Wild Cherry, Banana, Blueberry, and Mint), and top it all off with Lickit & Luvitt Chocolate Supreme Love Cream (2.5 oz. of rich, creamy Belgian Chocolate). Can you say Christmas Feast? Can you be a Christmas Feast? I knew you could!
There now, wasn't that easier than getting crowd-mugged in the malls and dazed and confused amid the faux jewelry, returnable cardigans, and cheap perfumes? Christmas shopping doesn't have to turn into a rowdy zoo at feeding time. Shopping online will give you more time to get your own jollies, right?
Okay, one last -- I couldn't resist -- suggestion for a cute and suggestive stocking stuffer. (Those fishnets hold a lot, don't they?) It's the Bondage Duckie from Bliss Box: adorable in a black leather corset, ballgag, and mini-cuffs! Squeak me hard, Santa!
