by William Dean
(04/05/06)
What do you call a woman who is a pro-porn advocate, sex educator, and the author of The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus and The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio? And she's also a blogger at tiny nibbles.com, an erotica writer, iPod broadcast producer, and the most outspoken voice for teledildonics -- the remote control sex play for adults. You call her Violet Blue, of course.
Teledildonics, which was projected by the late, great Future Sex magazine in 1992, as how we'll be boinking each other in the 21st century, may, indeed, be the next big thing. Sex and technology keep making strides forward, and the "feelies" of Aldous Huxley's Brave New World may not be far off. Violet Blue has taken a few moments off from her busy schedule to fill us in on what's up with sexy hi-tech and the world of tomorrow today.
Clean Sheets (CS): Some of us remember the old Future Sex magazine that used to cover the merging of sex and technology. That was back around 1992, as I recall. What, in your opinion, are the most important advances in sexually-related hi-tech since those halcyon days of more than a decade ago?
Violet Blue (VB): Since 1992? Wow, quite a lot, though really I think what's been most important is everything related to how we use the web sexually. Over a decade ago there were lots of dreams and online fantasy, and now there's a buffet of fairly refined tools that allow people to not only get off in a variety of ways we hadn't imagined yet -- but also to connect sexually with others in whole new ways, from teledildonics, wikis, social networking sites and competitive sex toy stores, to podcasts and getting accurate sex information, and sharing all that with a lover.
CS: Ever since the days of cyberpunk science-fiction, a lot has been produced and projected about "virtual reality." In films such as Lawnmower Man, we saw full cybersuits that mimicked "full sensory input." Is anyone in the hi-tech sex industry working on commercial versions of this kind of gear, or are we still pretty much talking "some possible future" here?
VB: Hee hee, this is one of my favorite avenues of thought: remembering all those crazy cybersex fantasies and seeing what happened to them. Lawnmower Man was kinda cool in concept back then, and now it's hilarious, though not as funny as the sex toy companies that literally tried to make those virtual reality fantasies come true with neck-crunching headsets and bodysuits lined with shocking electrodes.
No one's doing immersion on a practical level; the problem all of the teledildonic, gaming, and cybersex inventors have is finding a common platform for consumers, making it affordable, and then making it hot (which might be the hardest part). The closest a consumer might get in the near future to immersion cybersex with strangers (or computer generated porn performers) is the very possible mix of something like the visual online game Second Life coupled with teledildonics (remote control of sex toys over the Web) and force-feedback sensory technology. It's all out there, but no one's put it together...yet.
CS: I recently wrote about how games and sex are being integrated with electronically-controlled devices. What are some of your recommendations, based on experience, for someone who's starting out and wants to explore what teledildonics and other devices can do to enhance and perk up their sex lives?
VB: First of all, visit qDot at Slashdong.org and check out all of the how tos, mods, and inventions he's done with sex toys, teledildonics, and gaming. He's always working on something fun and new and explains things in plain terms. Also, read my essay on teledildonics to see what the landscape is like right now; in most cases you need a membership to play with remote-web-controlled vibrators, which sucks. I'm a big proponent of open sourcing this technology, but the patent holders are very greedy. Still, you can go to sites like thethrillhammer.com and sign up to play with a web-enabled sex machine with a model.
CS: Companies such as Highjoy.com, are rapidly growing in popularity. This combination of adult dating services, interactive chat, and connections with sex toys such as i-Vibe for online hookups seems to be opening up entirely new venues. What's your take on casual "hi-tech sex" like this?
VB: I don't know if I'd call them popular, unless you mean they get a lot of press by being a big fish in a small pond. They're expensive, you are forced to use their service and their toys, and their privacy policies should make you think twice. Most of these kids of services are great if you want to hook up with a pay-for-play camgirl and control her vibrator in a live session; that's where most of the income on these sites come from. They're about as reliable for finding a real partner as Adult Friend Finder, which many people believe to be filled with filler content.
But I think that casual online sex is great. Talk about safe sex and the freedom to explore any fantasy you want... Anything technology can do to make it more realistic, more fun and more physically engaging for the participant is wonderful, in my opinion. Some might argue that it makes people less community oriented and see it as a threat to intimacy; I see it as exactly the opposite. We can now explore a variety of fantasies and experiences that might be emotionally risky on terms we're comfortable with, at our own pace.
CS: Can you generally describe what the interaction is like for a "typical" or average encounter via teledildonics? What kind of controls are available and how pleasing is the outcome, so to speak, in terms of sexual satisfaction?
VB: At this time, teledildonic interfaces are PC only, with the exception of the thrillhammer, which is control-only on the computer end. So as a Mac/Linux user, I'm unable to really investigate the possibilities of playing with teledildonics, and having friends or anonymous partners control my sex toy over the web. Ideally, what happens is that you have a webcam going (pointed at wherever you like), with your teledildonic interface running, and either a chat (text) or audio interface.
In my upcoming book The Adventurous Couples Guide to Sex Toys, I explain how to set all of this up and put on an entertaining and satisfying show, in addition to explaining the various teledildonic clients so people can shop for one they might like.
One person has the toy, another controls the vibration/intensity of the toy via a Flash interface; the person on the toy end can pre-program the vibration settings so when the controller is maxing out the "volume" thinking that more is better, the user of the toy can make the max level something they actually like. With long distance lovers, it's a great way to learn about sexual preferences, if there's good communication going about how much, where and when to reach orgasm. But while some of this is visual, there's a lot of fantasy at work between the lovers, too -- the context can be any fantasy or story the lovers want to talk dirty about.
CS: Since it appears the control is mutual, are teledildonics hookups virtually abuse free?
VB: Physically, yes, though I'm sure like any other web communication (if with anonymous partners) people could be subject to offensive behavior from others. Like a chat room, there will be people trying to be rude, and you'll want to protect your privacy.
CS: How prevalent do you think hi-tech sex toys and online interaction is among non-vanilla people? Does it seem there is a growing network of users among GLBT folk or BDSM folk?
VB: I haven't seen it as a kinky or non-kinky toy trend, but more of a computer user trend. Any generalizing about users will necessitate generalizing about computer users and their porn/sexual habits, which is incredibly difficult to do. Tough to say; interest seems to be pretty general. But there would be more "mainstream" interest if the tech was easy for people to access, cross-platform, and not so damn proprietary.
CS: What kind of technical improvements do you foresee in the near future for hi-tech sex and eroticism? In the next five years, say? What is still the biggest challenge?
VB: The biggest challenge is the patent greed; if computer controlled sex toys could be experimented with we'd see a huge growth in development. Imagine if there were patents blocking video on the web; we wouldn't have YouTube, Google Video or any number of ways for people to make video work and enjoy it. Same goes for this tech; we're dead in the water on teledildonic development until this changes.
CS: What would be your ideal set-up for interactive hi-tech sex? What kind of "partners" make for satisfying encounters?
VB: Ideally: video, audio, anonymity and a variety of physical choices. Something that doesn't look silly! Tech that's multi-platform, easy to run and won't suck the power out of my hard drive. Something that combines social networking with teledildonics. And as for partners, well, that preference would change with every mood, no? That's the great thing about sex on the web, even in simple IM or chat rooms, you can have sex with any kind of partner you want. Ideally, though, someone who can type fast.
