by Sue Cady-York
(05/07/08)
What if you were stranded on an island alone without your favorite sex toys? No vibrator or any other modern day technology to toy with, and not even some good hot erotica...what would you do?
Would you return to your hand? Can you move from one type of orgasm to another that easily? I recently read The Science of Orgasm, where studies have shown that even women with spinal cord injuries can have orgasms. This idea helps to liberate the orgasm for the 21st century—meaning that orgasms are no longer defined as just clitoral or vaginal, but rather that "it is all good." Artist, Suzannah B. Troy says "We come in one size, beautiful!" and she is right on. Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra, also confirms there are all kinds of orgasms, and from her enthusiasm and tantric creativity she implies that they are all very, very good.
So here I am, normally a slave to my techno sex toys, suddenly on a desert island, with no vibrator. Way back when, the first instructions for giving yourself an orgasm were to set aside one hour and take that time to touch yourself lovingly...and it worked! It was rather like the "Rocky" of achieving orgasm, and working within this time each day made me a gold medalist at achieving solo orgasm.
But stuck on this island I'm a bit concerned to have to return to old fashioned non-techno orgasm achievement. First I tell myself to just start with a fantasy of what gets me hot. I think of Science of Orgasm and I imagine I can't move my arms or legs and that I am going to achieve orgasm just through my sexual fantasies. I find myself cheating, squeezing my Kegel muscles, which I find always stimulates my g-spot. I give myself permission to use my Kegels, and slowly I give myself permission to move my hips and rock them in concert with my Kegel contractions and releases. I add sound, since no one can hear me alone on this beach where I am naked and stretched out on the warm dry sand. I focus on the releasing part, and scream and sigh as fantasies are forgotten and so is my "paralysis," because I am using my hands, my wet fingers, and have a massive orgasm.
I am panting, and tears run down my face from the release...and then I start to laugh. The ocean waves are licking my legs and there is wet sand between my legs that becomes a tributary of saltiness, sea, vag juice, tears...all salty confirmation of passionate energies.
I think of something hilarious, and I am laughing and laughing as the warm ocean water caresses more and more of my body. I am thinking of Eric Idle from Monty Python and how hard he made me laugh when I went to Barnes & Noble to hear him plug his new book. I had a giggle orgasm in the bookstore because I laughed so hard, my entire body shook, and I came right there. Even when you eat your favorite food and shout out, "It's orgasmic!" you didn't realize you might be stating a scientific fact. The concept of orgasm for women has been redefined. The 21st century has brought a liberating truth about female orgasm, which is that there are all different kinds or orgasms, and they can be achieved and defined in all different ways...and they all feel good whatever the size of the orgasm. There are big ones, small ones, the full body full-throttle orgasm that leaves you shaking and quivering, where you feel the tingle in your brain, your nipples, breasts, stomach, womb, pussy...but also the small tiny orgasm that is quick and delicious.
We have more toys, more Web sites, more knowledge, and more resources than ever, but it is also good to remember to take a break and revisit some old-fashioned ways, or even change up your approach using nothing at all except your biggest sex organ—your brain.
I think of this as I return to civilization and walk into my favorite women's toy store. I am so happy when I walk in, I almost feel like I had an orgasm. Maybe I did have a little one...and that counts. Reading The Science of Orgasm has taught me that orgasms are more than just a physical sensation, they are also an intense sensation in our brains.
