$16.95
ISBN 1573442216
available through
Amazon
Reviewed by Jean Roberta
(5/3/06)
Revised versions of anything tend to make this reviewer skeptical. A second edition manual on how to pleasure the ass? A hip new version of Gray's Anatomy? This year's student-friendly explanation of "riting rules"? (As an English instructor, I get as many free copies of such things from publishers as spammy ads in my inbox.)
Rest assured, however, that the current version of Tristan Taormino's groundbreaking book on all things anal (first published in 1998) really is bigger, more packed with information, clear answers to courageous questions, new diagrams, and surprisingly lyrical quoted passages from erotic stories about asses and all the things that can fit painlessly into them. I actually held my first and second editions of this book together and saw that the revised version is one-and-a-half times as thick as the first. It also has a sexier cover.
In the 1959 dope-inspired autobiographical novel, Naked Lunch by William Burroughs, there is a surrealistic scene in which a man's anus complains bitterly that it is ignored and despised, and that it just wants to be loved as much as other body parts. As hallucinatory as this looks, the talking anus has a point. It has traditionally been regarded as the garbage chute of the human body, and its sensitivity has been seen as inherently humiliating as well as grimly funny. Traditional fantasy scenarios of ass-fucking (the intrusive strip-search by police or border guards, the medical exam, or prison gang-rape) tend to involve the abuse of power or authority.
Tristan Taormino has been challenging these notions for several years. (Not that she is opposed to anal sex in the context of BDSM.) It is hard to imagine how anyone could love or understand the ass better than she does. Questions I never thought of are answered in this book, along with a thorough product assessment of lubes (absolutely essential when exploring a delicate orifice which does not self-lubricate), enema devices, and anal sex toys. There is so much to know that it is easy to imagine an aspiring participant having to pass a preliminary exam first, as well as a few other things.
If memory serves me, the talking ass was left out of the movie version of Naked Lunch. Tristan Taormino has gone further. She produced and starred in an instructional video to go with the first edition of her book on anal sex, and has since gone on to make a more ambitious film, Tristan Taormino's House of Ass, produced by Adam and Eve Pictures. According to the blurb:
"Village Voice sex columnist Tristan Taormino invited a group of porn stars to join her for a weekend of fun and sex in a secluded house in the mountains...Each cast member knew in advance who they would do one scene with. In addition, each person was encouraged to have sex with anyone else in the cast as their mood and libido dictated." The award-winning stars, Joanna Angel, Mr. Marcus, Keeani Lei, Scott Nails, Justine Joli, Sarah Blake, two one-name actors, Talon and Saana, and Tristan herself, perform in a variety of anal scenes.
The official launch party for this film took place in New York on February 26, 2006. Photos and more information appear on Tristan Taormino's Web site. (And now the implied reference to kissing in "pucker up" seems more ambiguous than it did in times past.)
In the new, improved book, the author acknowledges the few logical reasons (as distinct from irrational beliefs) why some people are afraid of anal sex. She refers to her experience as a sex educator who has taught workshops and classes on various sexual techniques. She explains that a woman student once asked her: "After the initial penetration of a guy's cock in your ass, when should it start to feel good?"
Apparently Tristan answered: "Honey, it should be feeling good all along, and if it's not, then something's wrong." She goes on to explain the advice she gave to the woman and her male partner: "Go slow, do plenty of warm-up, and, if it hurts at all, stop without any consequences -- no frustration, no feeling guilty, on either side." This sounds like useful advice, and not only as applied to a form of sex which requires more skill, patience, and co-operation on both sides than the traditional in-out of marital intercourse for the purpose of making a baby.
There is a whole chapter in this book on anal pleasure for men, despite the general focus on women, because women who play with men are likely to need this information. There is a chapter on anal masturbation, another on analingus, one on "butt bondage" (long-term butt plug wear), one on anal fisting, and one on giving and receiving enemas, both as a sexual goal and/or as a way of preparing the ass for other events. Safe sex tools and techniques are thoroughly covered, and the reader is warned away from some commercially marketed products which are potentially harmful. The author explains:
"With popular brand names such as Anal Ease, Anal-Eze, and Tushy Tamer, 'desensitizing' lubes promise to make anal sex easier and more comfortable. Don't believe the hype! These lubes contain benzocaine (or a similar ingredient), a topical anesthetic that numbs your anus and rectum...I absolutely do not recommend using these products or others like them, ever. Because they have the effect of numbing your anal area, you literally cannot feel your ass and you are in danger of hurting yourself. Plus, some people are allergic to benzocaine."
This reviewer could add that anesthetics are no longer as enthusiastically endorsed by health-care providers as they once were for women in labor, which could be described as the one sexual event which can be expected to hurt even when the participant is doing it "right." The reasons for doing it "cold turkey" are similar to the ones stated above: anesthetics are not necessarily safe, and an inability to feel one's body puts one literally out of touch with reality.
Much of this book can be read metaphorically as well as literally. The paradoxically dirty pleasure of ass-pleasuring, as described, can be seen as a route to greater intimacy than the conservative and the fearful are likely to find in a sexual relationship. The author refers to an autobiographical book, The Surrender by former ballerina Toni Bentley, in which anal sex is described as a transformative physical and spiritual experience which brought the author closer to her conception of God. Of course, the same act is unlikely to produce the same results every time, or for every person who tries it. But now no one can claim that the ass is a hellish wilderness or that there is no relevant Bible for seekers after its truth.
