The bright yellow walls are patterned sparsely with flowery orange
designs, and the room seems small for the number of people in it.
Nearly 30 people lean against the counters and tables; perhaps five of
them are men. All of them are intermittently, almost unconsciously,
touching -- fondling, really -- the merchandise as they listen to the
speakers. This is Toys In Babeland's New York store. The crowd is
here to listen to the speakers at the Masturbation Summit Press
Conference.
Though crowded, the room is clearly large enough for a sex shop, a
mixture of open space and dense merchandise displays: counters
cluttered with sex toys, vibrators in a rainbow of shades, shapes and
sizes. Dildoes are the most apparent. Dildoes ranging from slim
finger-sized to 'Oh My God' hugeness. The colors flow from black to
shocking pink and even crystal clear, sometimes combined in swirls and
patterns.
Near the front of the room, on the right, is a sexually eclectic
bookshelf; diagonally across the room is a large, provocative sign
which shows the Statue of Liberty holding a Hitachi Magic Wand in
place of her torch. The caption is a familiar quote: "Life, Liberty,
and the Pursuit of Happiness."
The women gathered here to speak are well-known within the Sex
Outreach community: Betty Dodson, Rebecca Chalker, Mary Dorman Esq.,
Candida Royalle, and Tristan Taormino. But they are not here to just
speak on the subject of masturbation, but to speak out
about it. They waxed eloquent about how they discovered masturbation,
about the obstacles they faced in doing so. They spoke out about why
it is so important that information about masturbation not be
suppressed, as it is in so many places.
Five states (Alabama, Texas, Georgia, Massachusetts and Nebraska) in
our nation of democratic freedoms and liberty still have laws
restricting the sale and distribution of sex toys. In Texas, for
example, it is easier to buy a gun than a dildo. The current Mayor of
New York City (embattled in his own scandals) is imposing harsher laws
on the vendors of sex -- not simply sleazy porn shops, prostitutes and
strip clubs (gone in the Disneyfication of the former red-light
district of 42nd and 8th Avenue), but any place that sells any
kind of sexuality-related material. This includes BDSM playclubs,
sex-toy stores like Toys In Babeland and the Pleasure Chest, and video
stores offering adult material.
Despite testimony from medical professionals on the usefulness
of being able to prescribe the use of adult materials for sexual
dysfunction in both men and women, the Federal Appeals Court upheld the
Alabama law which bans vibrators. All these provide evidence that this
backlash against sex toys is more than just a 'couple of backward states'
parading their patriarchal biases. It is an overreactive trend toward
the restriction of sexual freedoms and information, the criminalization
of sexual paraphernalia. It is indicative of old-line prejudice against
non-procreative sex. It is the stigmatization of those who want only to
be left alone as they indulge in consensual behavior.
Mary Dorman, a dapperly-dressed lawyer who is very involved in First
Amendment issues, was speaking as I arrived. Surprisingly, she was
talking about how she loves censorship -- or, at least, the attempts at
it. In her view, censorship provides a prime opportunity for visibility
on the very issues which censors try to suppress.
And such censorship does so in a provocative way which helps those
fighting censorship in general. From her experience in arguing First
Amendment and sexual harassment cases, Ms. Dorman believes that the
personal use of vibrators should be protected under the right to
privacy established by the Supreme Court under Roe v. Wade.
She says that the statutes criminalizing the purchase and use of sex
toys do exist and can be abused by selectively applying them. But she
also avows that these laws cannot stand up to any true challenges, and
that such selective enforcement only harms the efforts of those
seeking to suppress the ownership and use of sex toys.
In an amusing and perhaps ironic sidelight, she notes that Supreme Court
Justice Clarence Thomas is known to be a fan of well-endowed porn video
star Long John Silver, and thus is likely to come down in favor of
masturbation and masturbation tools falling under the right to privacy.
Candida Royalle was the next speaker. She is a bombshell-blonde who
revolutionized the adult video industry with productions oriented
specifically towards women and couples. She admits to be a late-comer to
masturbation, clueless about it and about orgasm in general until well
into college. And this, despite having had a few lovers. Ms. Royalle
told of her emotional and intellectual voyage from childhood abuse and
shame over sexuality to her own self-acceptance and her productions of
sex-positive, women-centered porn films. She said she owed much of
her new attitudes to masturbation and vibrators.
It is this same type of ignorance still faced by many women (and men),
this intolerable lack of knowledge of one's own body and its reactions
and needs, that is the problem which can often be solved by more open
information about masturbation, and accessibility to masturbation tools.
Candida herself is working on that, with a recently launched
newly-designed line of vibrators. Revolutionary in shape, these range
from a simple curved wedge to a hooked U and are designed specifically
for women's bodies. Though she currently has no intention to do similar
design work to accommodate men's bodies, she stated that more than a few
men have tried and enjoyed the models for women.
Tristan Taormino, author of The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For
Women and under thirty years old, was the youngest of the
speakers. Wearing block-heeled platform boots and with her long dark
hair pulled back in a pony tail, she spoke about how she entered the
arena of her own sexuality from a different generational perspective.
Coming of age after the 'impossible' diseases of herpes and AIDS, she
has always had to deal with safer sex issues. She noted that, for
her, masturbation -- either solo or with a partner -- counts decidedly
as a safer sex practice. The most powerful quote I remember from her
speech was, "You need to get in touch with your own body before you
ever try to explain it to someone else."
Given the stigmatization of consensual sex in current society, this
simple idea curiously appears to still be a new one. Tristan, too, is
creating adult videos -- woman centered, anally centered. She is
following in Candida's footsteps and, in her own way, revolutionizing
the concepts of standard porn: she's giving vibrators to her
actresses. She spoke passionately about how the focus in old-style
porn videos has always been the pussy. There exists the misconception
that anything that obscures the pussy is bad.
However, she says none of the actresses have ever refused this
pleasure tool. While some directors may complain about the buzzing
being too loud, Tristan tells them, "I want to hear that buzzing up in
my office on the fourth floor! Buzz away! I want my actresses
cumming!" She also manages sex parties for women. One had been held
the previous night and was dedicated to masturbation, jumping the gun,
so to speak, on the official day of the Masturbate-A-Thon. A portion
of the proceeds from the door were being given to the Federation of
Feminist Women's Health Clinics, the charity that Toys In Babeland was
sponsoring for its part of the Masturbate-A-Thon.
During the question-and-answer period following Tristan's remarks,
some interesting information came to light. After the obvious
inequality of approving a drug for men who cannot orgasm, the FDA
approved a vibrator -- just one -- for doctors to prescribe for
women's use in orgasmic dysfunction. This is good news since women
tend to be generally ignored in such matters as drug studies and side
effects. The bad news, however, is that it costs $359.
Further bad news came from Betty Dodson, Grand Dame of
Pro-Masturbation -- the vibrator is useless. She said she had been
given one to review, and she could barely feel it on her
clitoris. This started an interesting give and take, where Tristan
proposed that it's good that the Powers That Be are finally doing
something positive about women's sexuality and needs, but
Dodson maintained that this excessively expensive machine is the
only thing being endorsed, and there is no mention whatsoever
about what women could do for themselves with their own hands, their
minds, locally grown vegetables, or the much less expensive contents
of the store we were all standing in. This discussion ended up with a
mention of a Magic Wand Marching Band, to be held as part of the Dyke
March, one of the marches during Pride Month, featuring a contingent
carrying vibrators. Betty Dodson would be walking in front as the
Grand Marshall, pumping a Hitachi Magic Wand up and down to set the
rhythm of the march.
After the official press conference broke up, I indulged in the coffee
and cakes that seem to be de rigeur at such things -- I've been
reliably informed that no reporter worth her press pass ever turns
down free food. I cruised the shop and discovered that the delightful
poster of Lady Liberty and the Hitachi was missing. It had been
hiding a display of BDSM toys. A prominent display of masturbation
books, that had provided a visual backdrop for the speakers, had
covered a cabinet full of porn videos. The staff were quickly
re-arranging displays of various gear, including untangling the power
cords for various hi-powered vibrators. I got into a conversation
with one woman about kink toys, and about how it seems many women come
into the store to buy a vibrator and expect it to be a one-size fits
all affair. "What do you mean, what do I like? I don't know, just
give me something." they murmur with a furtive air. Many are even
unable to meet the eyes of the saleswoman they are talking to. This
press conference will hopefully be the start of a new drive to
eliminate such fear and ignorance. Toys In Babeland is doing their
part.
Now comes the more difficult part: getting governments -- local, state,
and federal -- off our backs and out of our pockets, our bedrooms, and
our sex lives.
