"Have another popsicle."
A guy I knew, when he was a horny teenager, used to invite
neighbor girls over and ply them with all the popsicles they could
eat. He loved watching a girl suck one, her mouth sliding up and
down its length, the ice gradually dying her lips orange, red, or
purple. Like watching a slick, cool blow job.
Popsicles are sexy for the person eating them too: not quite real
food, but more than a cold drink. Sucking on one gives you a
physical thrill -- a quick cooling-off in the mouth that spreads into
your whole body, a little spasm of shivery delight. That's why
people eating ices often have a slightly rapt look: they're enjoying
the combination of oral pleasure (sucking) and euphoria from the
shock of cold followed by sweet melting.
I could sit outside all summer watching half-naked people (women
especially) walk by sucking popsicles. When it's really hot, one has
to lap them up fast or they start dripping. To see someone get drops
on a bare chest -- over a tank top or bikini bra -- dab them up with a
finger, and lick, can be downright pornographic.
Ice cream cones don't offer quite the phallic tease of popsicles;
they're a little more subtle. One year I lived in Rome, where ice
cream (gelato) is a way of life. Fantastic ethereal flavors:
rosewater, mango, rice pudding with saffron.... It amazed me to
see elegant women (so elegant I wouldn't expect them to so much
as drink bottled water in public) walking down the street licking
cones of gelato with cream on top. When you eat ice cream, you
can't help but show your tongue a little and lick your lips. The
women didn't seem consciously provocative about it. That made it
even hotter for me.
Moving beyond voyeurism, how can you put iced delights to work
in your actual sex life? First, try making an ice cream treat with
your lover. If you need inspiration, Cher Ladd-Vuolo
and Bill Noble can
tell you how to make a banana split for lovers or even turn your
partner into a strawberry sundae.
The eating of popsicles and ice cream makes great foreplay/tease
material. If it's someone new, you can lick a popsicle lasciviously
to make it clear you like oral sex. With someone familiar, you can
let them know you're in the mood, and (if you're in a public place)
heat them up until they're ready to drag you home. Be as explicit
as you dare. Ice cream cones, again, are less obviously suggestive,
but offer more room for creativity. You can swirl the ice cream
with the point of your tongue; wrap your tongue around it; press it
with a flat tongue; shape it into a point and then back into a
mound. Trust me; your lover will get the message.
Of course, you can actually play with frozen treats. A low-temperature
jolt is great for masturbating, phone sex (let your
long-distance love listen to you suck an ice pop and have him or
her tell you to do something like touch it to your nipple), or with a
partner right there. I've always liked a bit of ice on my labia and
clitoris, especially if there's someone to lick it off. Ice is great for
cooling off the butt after a spanking and it gives you a real
endorphin rush when it trickles down into your more vulnerable
parts. Now, imagine adapting that with popsicles. At askmen.com, David
Strovny tells you to go down on your woman while she
imitates fellatio with a popsicle. It could also be chilling fun to
suck a popsicle right before giving a blow job or performing
cunnilingus. Or what about blindfolding your partner and letting
him/her wonder where the popsicle tip will go next?
Now, popsicles are messy. They're sticky -- which can be a plus -- but also
mostly in colors you don't want to have permanently on your sheets and underwear.
That's why it's especially nice to do the original, teasing stages by the pool,
on the beach, or in the back yard. If you retreat inside for the X-rated stuff,
you might like to lie on the floor with a beach towel (continuing the playful
summer mood).
Some people claim to fuck themselves and each other with popsicles, which
does sound exciting. (My mind boggles, thinking of push-up pops or those rocket-shaped
ones with ridges.) But putting something sugary, as well as cold, inside any
orifice but the mouth, might cause concerns. I'd be apt to copy some BDSMers
and use those homemade popsicle molds with plain water. Before you stick any
ice inside someone, make sure you moisten it to avoid sticking (ouch, ouch!)
and go slowly at first. A woman's vagina, in particular, is quite sensitive
to temperature changes, which can make this exercise a lot of fun, but a turnoff
if you move in too fast.
Ice cream is nice to lick off an erect nipple, a bobbing penis, or
your lover's mouth. For a bit of extra sophistication -- and less fat
and calories -- get some fabulous sorbets. Or make them; it's pretty
easy with one of those mini ice-cream freezers. Aim for medium
sweet, with a little something extra. Cassis with rosemary; kiwi
with lime; grapefruit with ginger. Mound a few contrasting flavors
in a bowl and feed them to each other, perhaps while sipping
warm tea. No, really! The tea not only cleanses your palate
between flavors; the hot-cold contrast heightens the temperature-change
euphoria I mentioned earlier. Kiss and trade mouthfuls of
the half-melted sorbet; it's great for that, not as cloying as ice
cream.
What if it's a hot summer day and you want to try some frozen fun,
but you're alone and impatient? Why not run outside and accost the
Good Humor man? You've got nothing to lose but your popsicle
virginity.
