by Rebecca Adams
(05/01/02)
"Tell me about the first time you ever masturbated."
I like to say this to people on a first date. Initially, most everyone stares at me in surprised disbelief. Then they offer a slow, stunned smile, and they tell me a story that they've never told anyone else in the world.
"I must have been in my early teens at the time. I had watched a number of
my friends show me how they masturbated, but it was too shameful for me to do
that back then...."
"In my teens, I remember starting to make out with boys. With one boy, we did 'dry humping' on our living room couch during one evening visit, but then he had to go home and I had to go to bed...."
I'm intrigued by the variety of experiences we've each had, in utter isolation
-- the household objects we humped, the medicine cabinet lubes we sluiced over
our genitals -- and by the surprising similarities. Who knew I'd find another
woman who humped poles on the playground? I thought I was the only one!
There seem to be some patterns around what people identify as their first time
masturbation experience, which may say something about who we are sexually as a
culture. Or maybe it just shows how creative kids are about their bodies and how humans associate sex with orgasm. Either way, here are some of the things I've found. Maybe you'll see yourself in some of these stories. Maybe your story is completely unique. But either way, it's fascinating to hear how people began their sexual lives.
ORGASM
First and foremost, masturbation is orgasm. People don't tell me about the
first time they felt a tingle in their privates, or about the first time they
put a hand "down there." They tell me about the first time they can recall that
throbbing, delicious sensation between their legs.
"I tried a lot before I masturbated successfully. I just didn't quite know how to get there.... I'd try for hours at a time."
"I was just in my parents' hot tub alone with the jets on, got a hard-on and was thrilled by pushing my erection into the jet. I think I may have done that many times before, but this particular time I withstood the pressure long enough to have my first orgasm."
"I never had an orgasm until I was 19, with my boyfriend. When we broke up,
I found myself wanting to get that sensation again, but I had tried touching
my clit before and it just did nothing for me, so I looked on the Internet for
books on how to masturbate...."
DIRECT OR INDIRECT?
People who remember masturbating in childhood almost always talk about orgasming
from indirect contact -- against a mattress or pillow, through clothes, against
a pole...kids are amazingly creative when it comes to finding things to hump.
"During recess in the 5th grade, I was shimmying up one of those tall metal
fireman poles. I made it to the top and my arms were stretched above me, hands
holding on to two attached stabilizing bars, with my legs wrapped around the
pole. The tension of my thighs coupled with the almost meditative quality of
hanging by my hands jolted my body like prolonged electrical shock...and I didn't
want to come down!"
"I was feeling a bit excited and noticed that part of it was because I was wearing tight underwear. I thought, 'If one feels good, two would feel better.' And by golly, it did. I ended up wearing 2 jock straps and 13 pair of underwear all at the same time."
"When I was really little -- like 4 -- I used to hang from doorknobs. I'd
hang with my arms locked tight and my legs clutching the door, humping it until
I felt 'done.' I had no idea that that experience was sexual, I only knew that
every now and then I'd get this urge to go hang on the door."
But this is only true for those who masturbated early! Guys and girls who started in adolescence tended to go the direct route, learning techniques from books or from stories friends told.
"I'd heard about masturbation, but I'd never been able to make anything happen,
so I got this book which said to use lube, like Vaseline -- it's my favorite
lube to this day -- and stroke your cock. It made all the difference."
"So finally, after years of hearing about it, I bought a vibrator and some
lube. During my first masturbation session, I came in about 5 seconds, and I
thought, 'This is for me!'"
EJACULATION
For boys, "first time masturbation" is almost always synonymous with "first time
ejaculating." Even in guys who recall feeling orgasmic sensations prepubescently, the story they tell me is the first time that sticky white goo shot out of their weenies.
"As I was going about my merry business, I felt something strange I had
never felt before and some milky white semi-firm liquid came out of my penis.
I had no fucking idea what the fluid was, and it scared the shit out of me.
I thought perhaps I had injured myself and became very worried. Concerned that
I might have hurt myself and might need to see a doctor, I went to my mother
and told her what had happened and asked what was wrong with me."
"This sensation just kept building and building, and my whole body got tense,
and I moved my hand faster and faster and I thought, 'Oh my God, this is amazing!'
Then I thought, 'Jesus Christ, this is the most amazing thing ever!' Then I
thought, 'Oh my God, I'm gonna die!' And then this white stuff squirted out
of me, all over the floor."
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
"And I did it 5 more times that day."
"I decided this was definitely something I wanted to get good at."
"I took another crack at it, and lo and behold, it became quite enjoyable once the worry was eliminated. As it felt better than anything I had ever felt in my life, I did it and did it often."
"I've been masturbating now for just 6 years, and I get better every year. I've got a collection of toys, lube, books, and other paraphernalia that keeps me entertained and creative."
Whom have you told about your first time masturbating? Does your significant other know? Your best friend? Shouldn't they? Shouldn't you know their stories?
Ask your friends and lovers about the first time they masturbated. If you're
afraid they'll be offended, well...no one has ever refused to answer me.
