Are You How You Eat? -- Erotic Manners for Fuck Feasts

by Mademoiselle Lilian Lapin
(07/03/02)

Bon jour, mes cheris. It is, once more, your friend, Lili. We have been having the clouds and a little rain in Capri lately, which is parfait, you know, for a quick sassy stroll to the markets and then a lovely dinner tres intimate. Eating is so sexy with a little pitter-pat of the liquid dripping outside the windows, no?

I have some some good recipes for you to turn up the humidity and heat, but first, we must talk about the how you eat, yes? Oh, la! You think Lili just looks under the tables in Europe's beautiful restaurants? Mais non! You can tell far more by watching the diners.

Some people simply shovel in the food as if they are excavating for the bottom of the plate. You have seen them? They do not dine, they stuff. Eating so fast, how can you savor the delicate flavors? And, mes cheris, woman or man, they want to be savored, no? I know women who actually are proud that they can finish off le blowjob from start to finish in a minute or two. Sacre! What is the pleasure in that for the blower or the blowee, you ask? Me, too! And the same for us femmes. A lover who does not take the time a bas, down there, is just too, too much. A woman's parts are not a happy meal from le McDonalds, is it? Of course, not! They are a full course meal, with dessert, from the finest of restaurants. Fast food is not for the erotic and sensual lover!

Another type of eater is le bird, yes? They eat in little pecks like a chicken for dried corn. Peck, peck, peck. Now, truly. How will such a person perform the oral sex, eh? Peck, peck, peck. This is for clucking, not fucking, cheris. Me, I love to see a lover lick their lips to see how they will lick mine. Oh, yes! So, I say to you, observe people how they eat, you can learn so much! There are those who look angry at their food, eh? What is, as you say, up with that? Food, like les parts prives, are delicious. Give me a man or woman who roll their eyes in pleasure at a taste, who smile at a bit of spice, who eat nether too dainty nor like le steamshovel -- this will be a good lover.

Of course, we French know much about the oral pleasures. So we know that fast is foolish. Variety, too, you know is le spice de la vie. How many times do we have to tell you that play and teasing are things you must indulge in? Consider. When you dine out, do you eat first all the peas and then the carrots before the sip of wine? Mais non! So, why would you just center on le pussy lips? Lick the thighs, let your tongue and lips wander around some, and s'il vous plait! Do not just fasten onto the clit like some vacuum cleaner. Taste everything, mes amis! Savor the flavor!

Now Lili will tell you some good recipes for little tête-à-têtes, okay? And remember a little food is better than a lot. After a huge meal, one is ready for a nap, not the longtime lovings. Besides, in Lili's recipes, you do not even have to cook!

One thing to remember with lovers is that you are not an old married couple, yes? Even if you are! So, think not a great big meal, but snacks and special desserts. Love and passion, my friends, is not about diets, but about the sensual delights that lead from table to bed...or maybe even the floor.

What is more pleasureful than to answer the doorbell and voila! There stands your lover with a tiny box from the bakery with the smell of fresh pastry like sweet perfume drifting up to you. No, no, not the doughnuts, but perhaps some exquisite petits fours or eclairs. Or small fruit tarts or maybe even a pair of plump and suggestive muffins, eh?

"Surprise!" your lover says with a seductive smile.

Do not grumble at the interruption. Do not frown and say "I am watching my weight." That is the turn-off, not the turn-on. Be delighted that they thought of you! Invite them in, stop what you were doing, and sit down to share the treats with them. Let the sweet pastries lead to sweeter pleasures, okay? Break off a little biteful and feed your lover. Let them feed you. Taste your lover along with the pastry. This is a good recipe for l'amour, no?

Okay, Lili, another one, I hear you say. A wonderful recipe for lusty desires is to visit your local shoppe and buy a new toy for your lover and you to share. Lili has had this happen many times! When you buy the toy, then go to the fresh fruit market and buy some lovely soft fruit, perhaps some peaches or apricots. If you are feeling especially playful some ripe cherries or strawberries. In a gift box, you nestle the toy among the fruit, wrap it up and off you go to your lover's apartment. Ding dong. Who is there? Apollo, you say, or perhaps Venus, Bacchus or Aphrodite.

You will see your lover's eyes light up when they open the box, yes? And, cheri, between you and me, there is no aphrodisiac more exciting than the light of desire in a lover's eyes.

Oh, all this talk has made Lili very wet. And hungry! Au revoir until next time when Lili will tell you something even more exciting.