Marcy Sheiner is a multitalented woman -- as a writer, an editor, and as a teacher. Besides being the editor of some of the very best erotic anthologies today, she is also the author of several of my favorite erotic stories -- one involving fucking Mick Jagger, the other in Aqua Erotica, called "Rainy Day Man." She has always been one of my favorite editors to work with, and we're delighted that she's taken a moment to talk with us here today about her new book, Sex for the Clueless.
CS:
How did you come to write a book called Sex for the Clueless?
MS:
I've been writing sexually explicit fiction and sex journalism for nearly two
decades. I edit two annual collections of women's erotica -- Herotica and Best Women's Erotica.
The publisher had
already come up with the title and concept for this book, and was in search of an
author. Someone in the sex writing network suggested me, the publisher asked
for an outline, and I submitted one. After they accepted it, I looked at my I
ambitious outline and thought, "Oh, no, now I have to write all this!" But when I
sat down to do it, I found that I had a lot to say.
CS:
Who is this book primarily for? Who do you think is "clueless?"
MS: I think that all of us are clueless in at least some aspects of sexuality. My book
is aimed at anyone who wants to become more knowledgeable, more open-
minded, and who wants to seriously explore their sexuality. You do not have to
be entirely clueless to learn something from this book.
CS: Some people might wonder -- does the world really need yet another book telling people how to improve
their sex lives?
MS:
The more books available on this topic, the better. Sex information is not
always accurate and user-friendly, and many books on sex actually increase our
sense of inadequacy. More specifically, Sex for the Clueless treats sexuality
as a realm to be explored rather than as a problem to be solved. And the tone of
the writing is lighthearted and accessible.
CS:
In your opinion, what is the biggest problem people face with regard to
sex?
MS:
Shame. We are inundated from birth with parental and cultural messages
about sex that are at best ambivalent, at worst judgmental and damaging. These
messages aren't really anyone's "fault" -- they stem from a long history of sexual
confusion, discomfort, and repression.
CS: Do you really go to all those orgies and sex parties? Have you done every
lewd and "forbidden" act described in the book?
MS: I went to my first sex party out of curiosity, at the urging of a friend. I went to
several more as part of researching the book. I've never been to a so-called
"orgy" but I guess sex parties are the contemporary version of ancient
Romanesque orgies. People think that those of us who write, talk and teach
about sex live wild sex lives ourselves, that we have few if any hang-ups, and
that we're savvy lovers whose lives totally revolve around sex. Would that this
were true!
CS: Do you think any and all sex practices are okay?
MS: The only sexual practices that are totally verboten, in my opinion, are with
children or corpses. Otherwise, so long as nobody is hurting anyone else and all
parties agree, any sexual activity that adults want to engage in is their own
private business. I may not be turned on by some things -- in fact I've come across
some practices that actually repulse me -- but I don't feel that I, or others, have
the right to tell anyone else what they can and can't do in the privacy of their
bedrooms (or backseat of the car, motels, or anywhere else where it's legal!). My
attitude about sex is "live and let live."
My moral code in general is your basic "Do unto others." People who are
anti-sex-prudes, religious fanatics and such misplace their concern with
morality when they dictate how other people should behave sexually. They think
that people like me are immoral, "bad" people. But the people I know who do
this kind of work are some of the most moral people I've ever met.
CS: Who are some of those people?
MS:
Susie "Sexpert" Bright. The writer and activist Carol Queen. Kat Sunlove,
publisher of the Spectator and Legislative Affairs Director for the Free Speech
Coalition in California. Shar Rednour, writer and filmmaker. Annie Sprinkle,
performer and activist. I could go on and on...most of these people are involved
in other kinds of social activism as well.
CS:
Are you involved in other kinds of activism?
MS:
I do a lot of writing and advocacy about disability and the Disability Rights
Movement. In the past I've worked in the women's movement, the anti-war and
anti-nuclear movements, for the rights of prisoners, and even for the Democratic
Party.
CS:
What other kinds of writing do you do?
MS:
Fiction, journalism, and poetry. I've written four novels. I'm just completing a
memoir about my experience as the mother of a child with a disability.
CS: Besides writing, what are some of your other passions in life?
MS:
Baseball (quite recent), music, sex, good conversation.
CS: What is your writing routine like?
MS:
I write in the morning. I don't write every day, though. It depends
what's going on, because I always have other writing related things to do,
including teaching, editing, letters, PR, etc. I need absolute quiet and
solitude to write.
CS:
How does your family feel about what you do?
MS:
My mother is proud and glad that I eam money with my writing, no matter
what the genre. I have two thirtysomething children. My son thinks that what I
do is a hoot, but my daughter is somewhat embarrassed by my work. This isn't
surprising: Girls look to their mothers as role models, after all, and having a
mother who's public about her sexuality would be difficult for anyone. In fact,
I'm a little nervous about how my mother will react to Sex for the Clueless.
CS:
Do you have a number of projects in process at any given time, or are
you devoted to one at a time? What can we look forward to from you next?
MS:
I work on a million things at once -- right now I'm working on four books, as
well as teaching and speaking. Ripe Fruit, an anthology of erotica by and
about women over fifty, will be out next spring. My memoir about being the
mother of a child with a disability will soon be published by Disability
Press, part of iUniverse. I just finished a novel I'm trying to get
published. And, of course, Best Women's Erotica is ongoing.
