by Count of Shadows
(11/1/00)

Rantie Rooney's Naked Thoughts:

Did you ever wonder why there's never any sex-positive news in politics?

It's always a scandal. Why is that? Don't politicians have sex? We know they do, but why is the only time we hear something, it's bad? Or we're made to think it's bad, terrible for our image. But our image compared to whom? It seems there are some people who want us as a country, as a rather large crowd of people on the planet, to be puritanical. They want us to mate only in the interest of increasing the population, only to spend vast sums of money on insuring they have the means to tell us not to be naughty, only to keep praising their version of the Great Father of Us All and to keep our minds out of what they call "the gutter."

What's up with that?

There have been experiments in sexually free thinking and lifestyles for centuries. When you look at the history records, someone's always looked at these experiments with a shocked expression and some equivalent rant about how "We're going to hell in a handbasket." Why? Is there something morally corrupting about handbaskets they're not telling us?

You have to think sometimes repressive people are a bit silly, don't you? Narrow moralists, for example, will tell you the French are obsessed with sex. "Look at that phallic tower they stuck in the middle of Paris," they point out. "Look at the obscene shape -- and size! -- of their bagettes." Obsessed. Strict moralists want everything flat, unstimulating, dull. No towers to remind us of upright organs. No fruit or vegetables that vaguely resemble naughty parts. They'd much rather we deny sex exists.

The really uptight moralists want us to have Ken doll politicians, too. They want our social and legislative leaders to check their genitalia at the door along with any lustful thoughts. They want only "normal" people to formulate our national futures. They're shocked into loud raving at the thought that a gay male or a lesbian female or -- heaven forbid! -- someone who likes leather or a little spanking or is transgendered might someday stand up in the Governor's Mansion, House of Representatives, the Senate, or at the White House podium and address an agenda that includes sex in a positive way.

Because repressive strict moralists buy products and are loudly vocal in condemnations, they influence the marketing pundits who influence the media pundits who try to influence us. It's another reason why our children and teenagers and even many adults are sexually ignorant. It's why we're encouraged to snicker at sex scandals. It's why on the surface we use strange euphemisms for natural acts and human body parts that should be considered beautiful.

It's an old saying that "Politics makes strange bedfellows." Maybe we need more. Maybe we need to stop calling them "strange."