by William Dean
(06/25/03)
The scene is classy: dark wood paneling, professional lighting, comfortable seats. The dancer comes out on stage and starts a series of erotic moves that combine gymnastic floor routines, belly-dancing, and a little of the old burlesque stripping. As you gaze -- transfixed -- suddenly you become aware that something's changed around you. You look. The men sitting near you are eagerly watching. So are the women. The women? But...
Back in the day, the strip bar was pretty well divided: men sat and watched, women danced. But now women, too, are coming to check out the strippers. And we wondered why.
Catherine Rose has been teaching women how to do that erotic dance thing in San Francisco for three years. This month, she's hosting women's tours of the North Beach clubs. We asked her to help us find out what's up with the newest trend.
CS: Why do you think women are attracted to going to gentlemen's clubs?
CR: I think women are attracted to going to gentlemen's clubs for a variety of reasons. It's a completely foreign environment -- a boy's club -- and women have a lot of curiosity about what happens inside. Women want to find out what sexual entertainment really is. A surprising amount of women have had secret thoughts about being an exotic dancer at some point in their life. All these reasons and many more attract women to this experience.
CS: What's the atmosphere like for them?
CR: The atmosphere of each club varies; each has its advantage. From swanky luxurious, to frat boy wild party, to raw and nasty. Depending on the economic climate, it can feel like a Dionysian fantasyland, or a desperate, high-pressure vacuum.
Women have told me that they feel exhilarated by visiting a male dominated club. It‘s as if they got to sneak a peek at something they usually don't see. They are usually impressed with the dancing, and come away with a heightened appreciation and respect for this profession. Watching other women express their sensuality so openly can be a real inspiration for women.
The dancers are usually very appreciative of female patrons. They can provide a relief from feeling consumed only by the male desire from the audience and women can appreciate the full gesture of a dancer, while men are more fixated on sexual arousal.
CS: Is it just an opportunity to check out what men are really doing there or is there some sensual erotic element at work?
CR: Most women are not concerned about what the men are doing. They are there for their own experience. Women like to look at other women. We are also fascinated by the Goddess/Whore archetype. For some women, watching strippers is a sexual turn on, or titillation, for others, it is an opportunity to check out other women, other beautiful women.
CS: On your tours, how do you present what women will see and experience at a strip club?
CR: I present information in the most non-judgmental way. I let them know whether a club is topless or has full nudity. Topless means alcohol is served, nudity means no alcohol. I educate them about the economic reality of the work: the dancers make most of their money performing lap dances and relatively little from stage dancing. They are almost all required to pay very large stage fees to the club for the opportunity to work. I describe the experience of lap dancing including the cost per song and invite them to experience one. Most dancers don't gender discriminate when looking for lap dance customers.
I also educate the group about the importance of tipping, especially if we are sitting in the front row, which is also known as G. Y. N. ROW (short for gynecology row). It's essential that we tip every performer, and I explain how it might feel for a dancer if she sees tips right away, versus feeling like she has to work for it. If the dancer feels appreciated for her presence, she will probably have more fun, and everyone benefits. I want the women on the tour to have a positive experience. Good tipping etiquette is essential to this.
I cannot control what a woman's experience will be at a strip club, but I can let them know what facilitates a good dancer-audience dynamic.
CS: Are there elements of learning how to make the erotic "moves" dancers use to enhance their own sex lives?
CR: Learning erotic moves can definitely enhance a woman's sex life. Most women already have at least a handful of very sexy moves under their belt. By giving a woman a safe environment, and permission to express herself sensually, she unleashes what she was born with: potent female sexuality. Add some basic stripper/dance moves, and she can set herself on fire.
My students tell me that when they perform for their lovers, they feel sexually powerful, alive and in command; they experience their lovers watching them with desire and reverence. What could be better than that?
CS: What are the best gentlemen's clubs in San Francisco and what do they offer that makes them special and unique?
CR: Deja Vu's Centerfolds has excellent dancers who are especially skilled at pole dancing. This club feels frat-boyish on the weekends which I really enjoy. The men (boys), are easily excited and very enthusiastic. This creates a fun and wild environment.
Larry Flynt's Hustler Club is swanky and somewhat luxurious, but dead during the work week. The dancers on the Saturday evening shift are consistently good, some with outstanding stage presence and pole skills. What I like about this club is that they hire women who are not all stereotypicaly beautiful. We met a women who was 42, who got into the industry at 39. She told us she has saved enough to retire soon. Some of the Hustler dancers are quite voluptuous, and many not sporting silicone.
The Hungry i has a rich history as a former comedy club, where Phyllis Diller, Bill Cosby, Lenny Bruce all performed. When it turned into a stripper club, it was next door to the famous Condor Club, where Carol Doda, the first woman to do topless dancing, performed. There is a painting of her on the wall. The place looks like a turn of the century brothel. One dancer, Alex, who claims to have danced for Tom Waits on more than one occasion, performed a set that may have been the most expressive erotic dance I have ever seen.
We are lucky in San Francisco, compared to other cities, because exotic dancers here are more diverse in age, body type, sexuality and racial background.
CS: How can erotic dancing help get women in touch with their own sensuality?
CR: Erotic dance is an opportunity to bring an awareness of one's sexuality to the physical body. It is not a highly structured form of dance; most women can pick up basic erotic dance moves really quickly, if not innately.
Given a safe, playful and inviting environment, women discover, through the class exercises, that they are in fact beautiful erotic beings, and that erotic dance is an exhilarating, empowering and confidence boosting experience that can be enjoyed by everyone, regardless of age or size.
CS: Without naming names, can you give some examples of how some women you've instructed in erotic dance have used it to accent and improve the erotic part of their lives?
CR: Women have told me that they experience feeling more alive and sensual in their bodies after taking my class. They feel more confident about playing with or sensually teasing their partner(s).
Many are surprised at how easy and natural it feels to move their bodies erotically. For some it is a reclaiming of something valuable and essential that may have been lost somewhere down the line of marriage, child-rearing, or business life.
Women tell me they get turned on by the response they get from their lover(s), or from the attention they got at a party or nightclub, after some "dirty" dancing or striptease. Everyone wants to feel attractive and erotic dance is a simple way for women to express their feminine power and beauty.
CS: If someone with no experience in erotic dance came to you to learn, what are the three most important things you could teach them?
CR: Breathe and slow down -- the more you breathe, the more your body will relax and slow down. Your dance will look and feel more sensual. The hottest dances include some snail paced movement. Deep breathing combats nervousness too.
If you find that you are self criticizing, or comparing yourself to others, remember, if it feels good, it looks good. Tell your mind to go to the corner and be quiet.
Posture: arched back, butt out. Any move will look good when you have good posture.
CS: How has your own life, pleasure, sensuality been enhanced by erotic dancing?
CR: My experience as an exotic dancer has helped me to accept my body and recognize my sexual power as a woman. Even when I was 25 pounds heavier from drinking and eating my way through Europe, I still made lots of money and was appreciated by all my customers. This experience taught me that what makes a good erotic dancer is something more than physical appearance. It has more to do with confidence, attitude, and presence.
Performing an erotic dance gives me a satisfying feeling of being totally in my body, accessing and expressing all my softness and strength, and feeling totally adored.
CS: Is erotic dancing in gentlemen's clubs just a job or is there more to it for some women?
For some women, it is simply the fastest way to survive, without other marketable skills or a lot of time. For others, it is an exciting or thrilling way to bring home the bacon. Older women coming into the industry as a second career are more apt to be in it for the fun, or to break their own taboos. A lot of women, especially artists, enjoy the freedom of working a job that not only pays well, but where they can take off at any time with little or no notice.
I have noticed some common themes that hold true for most dancers: a desire to reclaim personal power, a desire to express their sensuality, and a desire to earn a decent income.
CS: Do you think there's been a definite increase in women learning and practicing erotic dancing for their lovers at home?
CR: I think so. I have been teaching erotic dance for over three years, and I have noticed more and more teachers in the Bay Area offering enticing classes and workshops for the single purpose of unleashing female sexuality.
Women are hungry to learn new or more ways to safely express their sexuality, and to either share that special gift with lovers, or to an adoring audience.
CS: What's the one thing you know about erotic dancing that no one else seems to have figured out yet?
CR: The dance is not about pleasing an audience, but rather, about sharing your presence.
Catherine Rose, a former Exotic Dancer of 8 years, has been offering erotic dance classes & workshop in the Bay Area for over 3 years. This summer she is leading a ladies tour of San Francisco's North Beach gentlemen's clubs, on June 27th and July 26th.
For more information, email info@erotic-dance-workshop.com or visit her Web site: www.erotic-dance-workshop.com.
