by William Dean
(02/12/03)

Romantic resorts, erotic events, nude cruises, private villas, secluded inns, and intimate islands; these are the settings for the sensual daydreams that take us away from our daily grind and spice our imaginations with romance, desire, and promised fulfillment. But our imaginations get dulled, overtaxed, burnt-out. When the sandy beach of your private mental tropical isle starts making you think more about Gilligan’s Island than the moonlight-shadowed skin of your lover or that hot cabana boy or girl is more likely to ask for a hefty tip than your room number for a secret tryst -- then it’s time you turned to someone for help. Where do you find a global guru, a travel expert who can take you away from it all? We turned to Dave West, co-author, along with Louis James, of Adults-Only Travel: The Ultimate Guide to Romantic and Erotic Destinations.

CS: The usual public idea of "Adults-Only" travel is of over-the-hill wealthy executives going to island paradises to ogle topless women or bar-crawls in Southeast Asia. How does that differ from what’s really going on in adults-only travel these days?

DW: While there are certainly some very exclusive private island paradises out there that cater to the overworked executive to ogle or bar-hop, most adult destinations focus their energy to the younger, more passionate guest who is simply looking for an exotic getaway that offers a high level of pampering.

Pretty much everyone is familiar with the kind of vacation you can enjoy at one of the larger Caribbean adult-only properties like Hedonism, but you do not need to go to the tropics to enjoy an exotic getaway. There are some very erotic and romantic adults-only vacation destinations around the world from Canada to the Caribbean to Australia that cater to adult crowds of all types.

CS: What are some of the erotic aspects of adults-only travel for couples or singles among the swinger/gay/lesbian/bisexual communities?

DW: There are certainly many destinations that cater exclusively to the gay, lesbian, swinger and other demographics, this guide was designed to offer couples alternatives in adult travel. That’s not to say that all the places featured are couples only but that is certainly the emphasis of the guide.

CS: Could you give even a general idea about what a "newbie" to the adults-only travel scene might discover?

DW: Adult Travel can sound misleading. Many think of it as some sort of dirty taboo but the truth is that most people are delighted when they realize the pleasure an adults-only vacation can offer. While a typical vacation is great, there are certainly times when traveling with just adults is favored. Most destinations that cater to the adult market offer the peace and tranquility that most desire to bring out the passion. For example, when it’s time for that special weekend away with the one you love, nothing can bring the romance to a halt quicker than screaming kids. That’s not to say family travel is bad, but there is a time and a place for everything.

CS: What are some of the best places to travel to for "adults"? What are they going to experience at such places?

DW: There are literally hundreds of destinations to choose from, all with a different format and spread across wide geographic regions. The best place really depends on the personal preferences and budget of the traveler. For example, many might enjoy the open sea air in the buff, sun bathing, miles from anywhere, sipping a cool margarita. Others might enjoy something a little more exciting like dancing till dawn at a full swing, all night party. Still others might enjoy a trip to help rekindle the passion by learning the sexual art of Oceanic Tantra that’s offered at one of the Hawaiian resorts in the guide.

CS: Obviously not everyone can afford the really expensive tourist places, are there midrange and even low-cost "Adults-Only" getaways available?

DW: The great thing about travel is that there is something for people of all lifestyles. One of the things we tried to accomplish with the book was to include a wide array of destinations in all price ranges. Just about anyone can enjoy a weekend getaway at a romantic bed and breakfast for only a few hundred dollars. And for those who wanted to enjoy something a little more lavish, they could charter a private jet that takes them away to a hidden island and stay in a mansion that is hosted with a staff of professionals to cater to their every desire. Although, most of the destinations we chose are moderately priced so they are in reach of the average couple.

CS: What’s been the response from readers to your guidebook? Are people really having a great time or have some people not found what they were expecting?

DW: We’ve received excellent response so far. Many have bought the book to help get their spouse interested in some of the more exotic destinations, and some buy it as a coffee table book. We have found that most people are simply looking for an exotic spot to spend their time. With over 150 unique destinations including an underwater resort, a hotel made of ice, mile high club charters, 25 nude cruises, and numerous erotic events, this book makes a great resource for travelers as well as an excellent conversation starter.

CS: Is there such a thing as an "average" adults-only traveler? Is there some general profile that fits the lifestyle? Or is it pretty much anyone/everyone who can find a great vacation in your guidebook?

DW: It would be difficult to define what makes a traveler average, everyone has a different idea about what makes something a good time. One of the things we wanted to accomplish when we designed the book was to have it fit anyone’s lifestyle. No matter if you’re a newlywed looking for the perfect honeymoon spot or maybe you’re looking for something to help put the flame back in your relationship, something much more erotic, or you could be a homemaker looking for an escape from the kids. Whatever your situation, you’ll be sure to find something in the guide that gets your attention.

CS: You must have done quite a bit of traveling yourself to some of these places. What are some of your personal favorites and what makes them special?

DW: All the places that I visited have been great, that’s why they’re in the guide. Because of my schedule I very much like to get away to some of the wild, more erotic events. But if I had to choose my favorite resort vacation I’d say that I really enjoyed my time at Viking’s Exotic Resort. Dean, the owner is a great host and they offer some theme packages for visitors that are top notch. I really enjoy the warm trade winds and the crystal clear waters of the Caribbean, and they are some of the nicest beaches in the world.

CS: What are some of your tips and techniques for couples looking for a really memorable and erotic break from the 9 to 5? How can they help make it more sensual or romantic?

DW: Everyone faces different challenges so it’s hard to say what will create a great vacation for everyone. What helps me to relax is leaving the challenges of every day life at home. It also depends how much energy you have, while some might enjoy all the specialized events a large resort has to offer, many like the relaxing atmosphere that some of the smaller destinations offer or the personal pampering that you’ll find at many of the more secluded inns. Regardless of your expectation in a vacation spot, good communication with your partner is probably the best recipe for a sensual and romantic getaway.

CS: Finally, what, personally, do you find passionate and exciting about traveling?

DW: I’ve always had a passion for travel because unlike many other areas of life, travel is unpredictable and can be very spontaneous. Almost every place that you find yourself has something new and unique to offer, that’s part of what keeps it exciting. I also enjoy meeting new people and taking in the beauty that so many places have to offer.

Visit the Adults-Only Travel Guide Website

Sprechen Sie Sex?

Randy Panache, our Berlin correspondent, spotlights the scene in the city of Sally Bowles, Cabaret, and the infamous Kit Kat Club.

Berlin as it had become in the 1920's and early '30's with easy access to prostitutes, free love with casual acquaintances, open lesbian and gay lifestyles has been accurately captured in the film Cabaret or the drawings of Georg Grosz and Otto Dix. These decadent tendencies were part of what Hitler was reacting to when he seized power and declared a new era.

Those days are long gone. Today, Berlin is Germany’s largest city and political and cultural capital -- and also relaxed and livable. What’s left from the wild prewar decades is a laissez-faire, leave-your-neighbors-in-peace-and-quiet attitude. You can dress however you’d like -- extravagant or slumming, it’s all okay. Germans are in fact quite at ease with being naked in public: Tuesdays and Fridays those with voyeuristic and exhibitionist tendencies can get and give an eyeful at a sauna and pool complex (Blub, Buschkrugallee 64); you can sunbathe topless or nude at several of the city’s many lakes (for instance, Grünewaldsee or Krumme Lanke).

When it comes to going out for an evening there are more choices than you could experience in a lifetime. In the past couple years, comfortable lounges with low-lying couches and easy listening with a beat have hit Mitte. As in New York or San Francisco, black is Berlin’s fashion color of choice. If you want to chill out and watch the locals in action, slip into your best black casual wear and check out Barlounge 808 (Oranienburgerstr. 42-3) or Wienerblut (Wienerstr. 14), keeping in mind that nothing much happens before 10 p.m. -- and that bars in the city stay open all night.

Casual pickups in all flavors and combinations have pretty much shifted to the Internet, since it is a convenient filter -- and good for projecting one’s desired image. But the Kit Kat Club is the place to show off your most extreme erotic outfit and wallow in the most up-to-date techno vibes.

One of the few Berlin clubs with a dress code is the Kit Kat Club. To be more precise it has an undress code. Everyone is encouraged to wear as little as possible, unless it's made out of rubber or leather. The Kit Kat is ostensibly a fetish club, but really it's an excuse for exhibitionists to do what they do best. Housed in a black-and-neon Eighties pleasure dome, there are various alcoves and dark corners where a few clubbers get better acquainted." (From The Guardian Weekly, July 15, 2001)

A personal favorite is the Möchtegern (meaning 'wannabe') Bar (Leibnizstr. 87). You’re requested to show up in erotic outfit, the women preferably in something see-through and short, the men at least not in jeans, T-shirts, or sneakers. The front room is furnished with comfortable low leather armchairs and a bar. The playground in the back room is covered with mats and adorned with peepholes; the basement has various apparati for what might be called SM light. The general motto of Berlin’s erotic scene: "Alles kann, nichts muss" (roughly "anything’s possible, but no musts").

For those who like darker scenes, there’s The DarkSide Club (Nostitzstr. 30), Berlin's newest BDSM location (reopened in May 2002) with clean facilities, including stables, a playroom, a lounge, and a medieval torture chamber, "The empire of the dungeon keeper with extraordinary furniture". It even has old catacombs which used to be filled with rubble from the last world war. The locals on the BDSM scene often complain about the lack of suitable locations, but have so far judged this "the most sensuous club in the whole city." Affordable drinks, music at a pleasant volume, attendees 25 and up, dressed very stylishly or quite kinky. Costing EUR 25 a couple (of all persuasions); ladies EUR 8 ("or wannabes!"); single men also EUR 25.