by Kristine Hawes

We generally expect that our sex toys will give us pleasure. When buying them, we look for things like comfort, solid design, and, of course, the ability to turn us on and get us off. What we don't usually look for, or expect, in a sex toy, is beauty. The Celtic Phallus is certainly not the least expensive dildo on the market...but it may be the most beautiful. (And if you or a lover is a closet Anglophile, this dildo may satisfy your secret fetish for Celtic knotwork).

The dildo (or phallus, as the liner notes call it), is approximately seven and a quarter inches long, and approximately one and a half inches in diameter. It comes in a brick red ("cinnabar"), a pale, creamy white ("ivory"), and a soft black ("ebony"). It also comes with a soft carrying pouch to protect it during travel.

The most intriguing aspect of this dildo is the Celtic knotwork decorating its surface. Spiral designs (authentic knotwork) are carved /pressed into the polyurethane resin -- one spiral chain for the head and two for the shaft. There is another knotwork pattern at the ring base. The carvings aren't deep but they add a texture similar to that of a standard textured dildo. The knotwork ridges are pleasant but not overpowering. The texture is slightly bumpy, making continual play easier and more of a tease. They certainly do not detract from the overall effect during sex. The head of the phallus is neither large nor wide -- it's fairly realistic in diameter as well. The un-carved portions are smooth and slick -- no rough spots at all.

One of the best things about this phallus is the fact that it's made from resin. Anyone who has ever tasted a rubber dildo will know: it tastes terrible. Silicone, while not as bad as rubber, still has an aftertaste that isn't pleasant. Resin, however, only takes on the 'flavor' of its user. No aftertaste. For those of us who really want to get everything from their toys, this is a plus.

Another aspect of this dildo, and probably the reason they call it a phallus, is the fact that it is rigid: there is no forgiving smoosh upon entering the body. This is a good and a bad thing. It can be painful if it's enthusiastically used at an incorrect angle. It can also be quite pleasurable for someone who enjoys a hard dildo. The rigidity is very pleasant if enough lubricant is used. Unlike rubber or silicone, the Celtic Phallus isn't terribly porous and doesn't absorb any lubricant. This allows only a small amount to be used and helps the lube last a long time.

Because the carvings are not deep, the phallus is easy to clean. The manufacturer recommends using warm water and soap, using a small toothbrush or nailbrush to clean the carvings. The base is not flared, so the phallus cannot be used in a harness. There is also not a great deal of room at the base for fingers and hands. One complaint is that it can be difficult to hold on to.

Overall, this is an exquisite piece of art and an intriguing erotic toy: beautiful to look at and beautiful to play with. The Celtic Phallus is available from Blowfish for approx. $64.95.

(Copyright 1997 by Arlin Robins Designs, photo courtesy of Blowfish)