The Book of the Penis
by Maggie Paley

$9.95
ISBN 0802116485
available through Powell's Books

Reviewed by Grant Bogart
(11/24/99)

While lurking in the Borders Erotica Aisle (right next to the Children's Book Section in my city), I noted a bright green die-cut fig leaf on a cream cover, the leaf slightly turned up in invitation, pulling my attention from the friendly grouping of hardcover erotic and sex manuals, lovemaking guides, and titillating tales in trade and paper that Borders stocks.

I looked closer, and saw the title in tiny type, and lifted up the die-cut fig leaf to discover a very clever black and white photograph of a penis and testicles sculpture.

At last, your rumpled, unruly reporter thought, someone has written a book to lay bare everything worth knowing about the penis.

The Book of the Penis is a trailblazing work, written in a breezy, smartass, streetwise New York reporter style -- fitting and understandable, since the author is a contributing writer to Mirabella -- and filled with interviews of people you've always wondered about: escorts, hookers, men with big penises, men with small penises, gay men, straight men, women who comment on penises, male prostitutes, and porn stars. It also covers every myth, practice, nuance, and cultural and physical fact you might want to know (and then wish you did not know) about the penis.

The book covers everything in nice gulp-size chapters, paying special attention to the most sensational and bizarre facts. Sadly, the book is also poorly edited, lacking any sense of theme or organization. Still, given the large, fully erect territory the neglected organ occupies, the editors may have simply thrown up their hands and given us the author's raw notes.

Consequently, the book is best dipped into and called upon in random pieces, making it great for beach-reading, because every chapter gives you something tasty to wrap your mind around. Looking for understanding of the penis erection apparatus? Right up front in Chapter One. Chapter Two covers "The Size Question," with a fascinating explanation of penis enlargement techniques, and candid comments about the advantages and disadvantages of large penises. Other chapters are devoted to Penis Worship and the Penis in Art, including artists whose subject is exclusively penises. Unfortunately, the chapter on Movie Penises in X-rated videos covers the whole genre in six pages. This is a joke. Though the material is interesting, it barely fondles the surface of this field.

She later jumps to the history of Penis Piercing and Penis Jewelry. Let me tantalize you with some intriguing facts from an interview with pioneer piercer, Brian Murphy, owner of The Gauntlet in New York: 1) In penis piercing, no anesthetic is used; 2) it can take four weeks to a month to heal; 3) the piercing is often done freehand; and 4) it only hurts for a little while. You'll also learn the 6 common piercings, plus unique enhancements like inserts in the foreskin.

One big flaw in the book is that there is very little information about how to make love to the penis, arouse it, nurse it, and use it (for either men or women). Nor is there much on what men feel inside a pussy; although, the interview with the porn star is interesting, if you believe what the porn star says. This is the trouble with a lot of these interviews -- how credible are these people, really? Remember, they are all selling their reputation. The section Advanced Fellatio devotes just eleven lines to actual blowing techniques, and devotes two pages to talking about mints and other in-mouth substances as blowjob enhancements. The book spends lots of time on gee-whiz opinions about why men like blowjobs, and how women feel about them, but, sorry folks, no technique.

Also, nothing in this book covers contraception and the use of condoms; i.e., how they feel, which ones are best, etcetera. This is an inexcusable omission for The Book of The Penis.

Most notably absent is the author's own sexual experience with the subject matter. She sometimes talks about experiences she's had, but for the most part this is a Studs Terkel take on the penis. Lots of opinions, facts, interesting interviews, and unusual people, but nothing tying it together -- a Ripley's Believe It or Not book about the Penis, with facts fired at you like a hundred cocks spewing at once.

In being brave enough to throw this book together, the author deserves pioneer recognition. It's a great book to dip in and scoop up some pleasure from, and certainly great for plot ideas. As the author acknowledges in her preface, she has just tried to open the subject for you, and that she has, ladies and gentlemen.