Reviewed by Jianda Johnson
(4/26/00)
Cornfed.
Big and beautiful.
More cushion for the pushin'.
Large and lusty.
You may be familiar with these terms equating the concept of being
fat* with sexuality. Unfortunately more often
than not, folks might
hear phrases similar to the above-libidinous enticement and all-and
still might not quite get it. Cute, pat euphemisms can cloud the
issue. Enter Hanne Blank's Big Big Love: A Sourcebook On Sex For
People of Size.
The work, part creative nonfiction, part socially-aware sex ed, part
"FA's (Fat Admirers) Bible," dances back and forth between playful,
sassy and academic language, and comfortably so. Blank begins by
addressing "fatphobes" from all walks of life, including the
size-acceptance, LGBT and BDSM communities, and finishes the tome
with a bang -- literally! Of course, if you define yourself as fat, "Big
Big Love" is a road map for reclaiming your sexual geography, inch by
precious inch.
Playful and sassy one moment, informative and academic the next,
Love delineates myths about size and sex in keen, careful detail
for the purposes of self-healing -- for societal and sexual healing. No
matter where you weigh in on the scale, you may discover your own
inner "fatphobe" between Blank's pages. Or, you might have evolved to
the point where you are comfortable with your weight, yet still
compartmentalize your sexuality in several ways, many of which the
work speaks to -- e.g. feeling like it's "not okay" to flirt because of
your weight.
Likewise, in her "Communities and Cultures" chapter, Blank compares
myths about LGBT and fat people, which more often that not are the
same, and proceeds to debunk them. Along the lines of personal
empowerment, her Confrontations and Comebacks section provides
counter-fire -- the likes of which I'd never seen -- against small-minded
insults. If some ignoramus hurls a snide, fatphobic comment at you
or your Honey, Blank's road-tested retorts will leave those suckers
speechless.
Are we really so naïve as to think that fat people aren't getting
any? This is where the "sex" part of the book comes in. Blank's
resources and how-to's on the subjects of masturbation, safer sex,
men's and women's health, toys, bondage, erotic videos, social and
political avenues, dating, websites, fetish and lingerie gear, mail
order, and even the sexual quandaries and concerns of overweight
teenagers provide recipes for self-loving that transcend, yet do not
deny, the physical.
All told, the book isn't called Big Big Sex, it's
called Big Big Love. Its yin-yang balance of
strategies for sexual empowerment
prove themselves invaluable for engendering a healthy sex
consciousness, whatever your size, or size of choice.
And Hanne, I've got a new one-liner for your 2nd printing:
Dumbass Comment: "My God, your thighs are fat!"
Zaftig Diva Comeback: "All the better to top you with!"
* Note: by using the word
"fat," Hanne Blank feels she's telling it
like it is, much like you would call someone "six foot one," or
"brunette." Quoth Hanne: "When 'fat' stops meaning 'ugly' or 'stupid'
or 'lazy' and just means 'fat,' it loses a lot of its power as a
weapon." (Excerpted from BigBigLove.com's FAQ)
