by Miss Katherine

What's a good girl to do in these debauched days? Lust is everywhere - in fashion, in music, in advertising, even in PG-rated movies. How can you preserve your purity amidst the decadence of our hedonistic culture? How can you hold on to the ancient truth that Good Girls Don't?

My girls at The Cherrywood School for Young Ladies have learned to overcome Lust by following my long-perfected method. This time-honored tradition of repelling ravenous suitors uses a simple combination of self-control, firm deterrence and, of course, prevention. Now, for the first time I am offering this flawless method of remaining pure to the general public.**

Dress the Part

Just because the world is half-naked, it doesn't mean you have to be, too. When dressing to go out, choose lovely, flowing, baggy clothing that conceals most of your skin. Not only will you be dampening sensations such as the warm sun on your bare arm, but you'll be helping others by not tempting them with your bare, nubile girl-flesh. Hats, especially those with a wide brim, help hide your face and keep your hair from blowing in a frisky breeze.

Footwear should be sensible. No heels. No sandals. And, for God's sake, never go barefoot. It's far too liberating and is an open door for such lust dangers as "footsie" and those vile toe rings. Be on the safe side, and never wear thin socks or hosiery. Thicker socks can turn those dainty feet into a shapeless blob and, on a hot day, the sweat your feet produce will kill any amorous feelings.

Personal hygiene, while important to your health, can get in the way. If you find yourself feeling confident and fresh after a shower, beware. Don't leave the house until right before your next shower, when you're feeling greasy and unattractive. Greasy hair stuffed under a tight hat is a great deterrent to passion.

Make up is a no-no, but I don't have to tell you that, now, do I? Not only will it give your sense of beauty an errant boost, but it's a flag to those looking to release their passion on you.

Watch Where You're Looking

If you notice yourself staring idly at some young buck, your eyes sliding over bulging biceps or the way his chinos hug his derriere, you've got wandering, lustful eyes. The easiest way to combat this sort of temptation is to stay home (and stop looking out the windows!). However, if you must go out, here are a few tips:

• If you wear glasses or contacts, you're in luck. Leave them at home! Your vision will be blurred, and you'll never notice that bare-chested gentleman smiling at you across the park. If you must wear them for driving, remember to take them off after you've arrived. Or, rummage about for an old prescription, and wear those instead. If you get a headache, all the better. You'll feel as though sex isn't nearly as nice as a dark, quiet room.

• If you have perfect vision, I suggest wearing big hats that cut out any peripheral vision. Hoods are good for this, as they conform nicely to your head. Allow your mind to wander, and your eyes to glaze over frequently. Try not to look around too much.

• Sunglasses are also a no-no. Not only do they make your vision clearer in bright sunlight, but they give you a sense of safety, behind which you can stare to your heart's content. Leave the sunglasses for working in your backyard garden, and allow your natural squint to censor your vision. The exception is, of course, wearing sunglasses at night.

Resisting a "Come-On"

Sometimes the stimulus is obvious, as in the case of a blatant pass or "come-on" in a public place. First of all, you should avoid "hot spots" where these come-ons are more obvious, such as bars, dance clubs, parties and concerts.

When a man approaches you in a bar, don't panic. Don't smile either. Frown. Look confused. Refuse to reply to any questions. If he's insistent, you can always try saying, in your best broken English, "No English" or some such. Make sure you make your accent completely obscure, as you dont want to sound, say, French, and have him suddenly trying out his college French on you. Stay away from French, anyway, as it's far too romantic a language.

If you're uncomfortable pretending to be another nationality, try snarling. Usually, "go away," said with an appropriate growl, will work nicely.

You're too nice? Nonsense! Oh, very well. Here are some "easy outs":

• If a man gives you a line, any line, try clutching at your abdomen and hollering, "Oh, no! Dont say that!" and rushing to the bathroom slightly bent over. This is especially effective in the midwest, where women can sometimes get hit on with such vile comments as, "Hey, honey, nice pooper", but it works on nicer men as well.

• If you absolutely insist on being social with a man, only respond to genuine attempts at conversation. Don't smile too much and, for gods sake, don't laugh. Keep the topic of your conversation turned to something that bores you but interests him, such as auto mechanics or sports, thus avoiding stimulating yourself. If he manages to change the conversation to unsafe topics (such as flattering you), simply respond with, "I don't care for what you just said. Please refrain from speaking to me in such a manner, or I'll be forced to leave," and then leave if he continues.

• And you can always "accidentally" step on his foot. Apologize nicely, but don't hesitate to do it again, "Oh! I'm such a klutz!" if he persists in his unwanted attentions.

Resisting the Bedroom

If you do happen to have a boyfriend or fiancé, all is not lost. There are easy ways to avoid being seduced before your wedding night.

Kisses should only be pecks. If you've already kissed him with an open mouth, tell him you've got some temporary illness and can't kiss him for fear of infection. Coughing and sneezing during an open-mouth kiss will be instantly effective. When you finally kiss him again, little pecks should satisfy. If you can, avoid kissing his lips at all. Cheeks, hands and foreheads are gentle enough to convey your affection.

Hugs should involve the arms and shoulders, preferably while standing side by side. Keep your breasts as far away from him as possible, and never let your hips touch.

Wear your "rag" underwear. The more stains, tears, holes and ratty elastic, the better. Lingerie of any sort is just asking for trouble. Bind your breasts down, so they hardly show under your clothes. Your discomfort will keep you safe while keeping his eyes on your face, where they belong.

If he tries to literally "sweep you off your feet," go limp. Your dead body weight should be enough to discourage him. If you're very small, he may have no trouble with this and take this as a sign of submission. At this point, you can either be very frank, and tell him not until he marries you, or you can resort to some sort of illness. If necessary, vomit copiously and claim motion sickness. He won't try to seduce you for quite some time.

Of course, these little tricks were specifically designed to help those unfortunate girls who must deal daily with this modern world. Ideally, the precious flower of young womanhood should remain untainted by society until such a time when she is bound in holy matrimony. But, with a little luck, even a "modern" lady can remain unsullied until her wedding night. And then, with a little luck and hard work, she can raise her daughters in the sanctuary of her home, bringing them up as fresh and pure as a young lady should be.