by H. L. Shaw

Darling,

As you know, at the beginning of this summer, I discovered something truly wonderful: sex parties. I've been teasing you with stories from these events, and I know you're interested. I've decided to invite you to accompany me to the next party. Having given it much thought, I believe that you could not only handle the highly-charged sexual atmosphere, but that you'd also delight in it. I would not extend this invitation otherwise.

I've been to a scant half-dozen of these parties, and I'll warn you, every single party always started out feeling as if it was my first. It's not an easy thing on my Midwestern upbringing, to walk into a house where you know all sorts of naughty, delicious things are going on and you can do some of them if you want to, and you do.

I fully acknowledge that I am still a fledgling in the sex party world, but, as this will be your very first party, I'd like to let you know what to expect, both from me and the party in general.

What to bring

• A Partner. That would be me. Have I told you why I go to these parties? Even though there's always the possibility of meeting someone there, I usually prefer to indulge my exhibitionist nature with the people I came with. I love to be watched. Remember that story I told you of the three-way with the married couple I was dating? Tom lined Beth and me up, cheek to cheek, if you will, and spanked us each in turn. I was horribly ashamed to have my ass facing a growing crowd of people, but, of course, that was part of the fun. Those menage a trois encounters become so involved that I have trouble reconstructing exactly what happened when, but I do remember the thrill of suckling Beth's breasts while Tom surprised me by entering me anally. I looked up at the gasp of excitement from the crowd, watching a line of hard cocks being stroked to the rhythm of our play, and I came rather silently, but in torrents. Beth saved the scene by getting so excited that she grabbed her vibrator, pressed it to her clit, threw her head back and came in descending moans and thrashings that had people talking about it all night long.

  You don't mind me teasing you with these little stories, do you, dear? I know I get terribly distracted by them myself - where was I? Oh, yes. Regardless of what we do sexually, having someone to hang out with at a party takes a lot of the pressure off. We can simply mingle together at the party, if you get stage-shy. We could have sex out of the way, where not as many would see us, and that's ok too. But, really, there's nothing like looking up to see a crowd of aroused people watching you. I've never felt so naughty, sexy and desirable in my life, staring down that row of hard cocks while I lost myself in my waves of orgasm. It's something that'll give you tingles down your back when you think about it later.

  Oh, there I go again. Ahem. I was telling you what to bring, now, wasn't I?

• Clean Sheets, Towels and Baby Wipes. The reason for the towels should be obvious: we're going to want to wash up afterwards. The party we will be going to will have showers available and, just so you know, it is considered polite to shower between partners. However, baby wipes will do the trick if you just don't have the time. And bringing our own sheets is a great idea as it allows us a clean surface for playing on even towards the end of the evening. Play spaces get used heavily at sex parties, and if it takes awhile for us to warm up to the point of playing, we're going to find nothing but soiled sheets waiting for us. I always try to do myself a favor and bring my own sheets.

• Sex Toys. Bringing your favorite toys is a great idea, as you'll be more comfortable using them. Toys add variation to sex play, giving us some props to make our scene more interesting. Sometimes I find myself with an odd version of stage fright, and it helps to have several toys to play with. I find vibrators are a great way to join in the fun even without a partner nearby. If we get separated, but you're too nervous to approach anyone, try masturbating while watching a scene that you find arousing. I know I love the energy I get from a suitably appreciative audience.

• A change of clothes and shoes. As you'll be wearing your erotic attire at the party, you'll want a change of comfortable clothes to change into for the ride home. Even if you decide to wear your sexy stuff home, at least you'll have the option, right?

• A sarong. Much sexier than a towel, this little item is a nice compromise for sexy wear once your original outfit has served its purpose. Sometimes you just don't feel like squeezing back into those leather pants or that corset, so you just tie on the sarong and mingle. This is especially nice after a dip in the hot tub.

• Any special lubes or barrier needs. Although the party will provide your basic collection of gloves, Saran wrap, condoms and lube packets, you may want to bring your own. The gloves at the party will come in only one size, so for your rather large hands, you'll want to bring some that will fit you comfortably. The same goes for condoms: if you have a favorite brand, bring it. I also strongly suggest we bring along our own bottle of your favorite lube, as the packets provided at most parties are much more difficult to use than a pump bottle. I hate the lag time involved with interrupting both hands to rip open a packet of thin lube. And if you prefer the thicker, flavored dental dams for oral sex, you'll probably want to bring those along too, as you'll find only rolls of Saran wrap at the sex party. Although I must say Saran wrap works just as well, and it's usually easier to feel a tongue through it.

• Something delicious for the buffet table. Not sure what to bring to a sex party? I highly recommend referencing Isabelle Allende's Aphrodite (ISBN: 0060930179) for appropriate foods for an erotic evening. Some of my favorite sex party foods include olives, asparagus spears and fudge, but anything scrumptious will do in a pinch.

What to Wear

Before you dress: shower. Ok, let me be more specific: wash your entire body in every nook and cranny. This means under your balls, down your asscrack, between those toes, between that labia. You want to feel clean, and you'll feel a lot sexier knowing you are. And I'll be much more willing to accompany you to the dungeon where all the sex is happening, if I know you're clean.

The party requires that you wear some sort of erotic attire. This ranges from full nude to leather to lingerie. My first party I wore a low-cut, short sundress with high heeled sandals, but I've also worn chemises and little black party dresses to sex parties. I wear full makeup (powder, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick) even though I know that it might smudge -- I've decided it's better to walk in initially feeling self-confident and hot, and worry about my makeup running later. My hair is long, and I often leave it down, but I always make sure to bring something to tie my hair back with later. There's nothing worse than a mouthful of hair when I'm trying to properly suck cock. I like having my hair down - it's definitely sexier - but I always wanted to go with the "Catholic Schoolgirl" look so I could braid it into two braids and still have it look hot. Braids would also give you something to hold onto, a set of reins for when you take me doggy-style. For your first party, find something you feel good and sexy wearing, and wear it -- I'll probably be undressing you quickly, so don't make it too complicated. And bring that sarong for later on.

What to Expect

A sex party is just a party with the option to watch or have sex. If I've misjudged and you have any problem at all with a sexually charged atmosphere, please let me know, as it would be better if you didn't come. Ah, I knew you'd want to come! Before you go, it's a good idea to read some examples of sex party rules. Sexuality.org has a wonderful page on hosting and enjoying erotic events, with several examples of your typical sex party rules, that go into more specifics than I can. The basic rules are "use protection", "ask before joining anything" and "take no for an answer". The party should have its own version of similar rules, and you'll have to read them carefully and sign them before you go in.

You'll find the party divided more or less into three sections: a place to mingle, a place to play (often called the dungeon because of the many sexual implements such as spanking horses, sex slings, cages, stocks and tables down there) and a place to retreat (and eat, since that's usually the kitchen). If you feel like you just want to meet people and hang out, you'll probably wander around the mingling area in the living room and backyard.

It's in the mingling areas where people make their connections, so don't be surprised if you get an offer or two. I really like the attitude at the sex parties I've attended. When people talk to one another, sometimes it's just to pass the time, or to help ease one another's nervousness, but oftentimes it's the beginning of a come-on. I usually chat with anyone who wants to talk to me, and when it comes to the part of the conversation where they ask me down to the dungeon, I just smile sweetly and say, "No, thank you though." This should be accepted graciously. This is your one chance to be honest about how you feel without hurting anyone's feelings. If you aren't sure you want to do anything with anyone but me, just explain that we came together to show off and be watched (and invite them to watch if you want to!). Sure, you may find your conversation cut short as they go in search of another partner, but that's why we're going to this together, right? Or, if I've managed to abandon you momentarily, you can move over to browse the food table or watch another hot scene. There's always something going on.

Remember that you only have to do what you want to do. It is perfectly acceptable to go to a sex party to watch, and you can get a lot of new ideas and inspiration for your private bedroom. And the scenes I've been in wouldn't have been nearly so vivid without the line of men pulling on their dicks and women with their fingers trailing through their pubes. Remember to watch courteously however, as you don't want to disturb the scene. Once, Tom and I were having a good old time on the gynecological table in the basement. I was lying on a sheet we had, in desperation, turned inside out (which is why I'm such a clean sheet fanatic these days, but anyway), my feet in the stirrups, hoping to goddess that he picked up on my reluctance to play doctor and my desire to get a good fucking. He was wonderful, pretending to be a mad sexual scientist, dominating me in front of a group of people watching with rapt attention (I thought of them as his eager toadies, taking mental notes for their own little games later on). As he tweaked my breasts and slapped my face and told me I was a good bitch, I was brought out of my submissive fantasy by two men standing not three feet from us:
"Oooh, she likes that."
"Really?" his friend commented, "I think she's faking it for our benefit."
I should've told them right then and there that NONE of it was for their benefit if they were going to be so rude. I had to fake that orgasm as a result, I'm afraid (oh, hush, I didn't want to ruin my reputation just because those men had ruined our scene). Which leads me to my next tip:

Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. You're in charge of what happens to you. If you mean no, say no; if you mean maybe, communicate what you want. Maybe you like the person you're talking to but aren't sure you can handle having sex with them for the first time in a public space. Talk to them, let them know you're nervous and see if they're willing to set a limit with you. Sit on a couch with them and fondle, see how your chemistry works -- or doesn't. You certainly aren't signing on for an entire sexual encounter just by fondling, and you can always back out of a scene. If you let your partner know up front that you're not going to do anything more than, say, neck with them, you avoid an awkward miscommunication later. Hopefully.

Now, just so you feel better, I'm going to tell you that I've botched this part of it once or twice. Part of the problem is that I tend to let people come to me, rather than seeking out the ones I am truly interested in. Occasionally you'll get lucky and manage to sort of mentally call over the person you've been admiring, but honestly, that's rare. The last party I went to I found myself chatting up a cute young married couple while watching a hot scene from the sidelines. To be perfectly honest, I was much more interested in her than him, but I suppose I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I didn't make that clear. Sure enough, later in the evening the husband approached me soon after another hot scene between Tom and I. I was still feeling rather randy, and Tom's influence still held me in its sway, and, well, I felt as if I might have led this poor young man on earlier. I was hoping his wife was nearby and would join us, but unfortunately that never happened. I soon realized I was getting into something I was not interested in, and I decided to stop it before I did something out of a sense of obligation. Oh, it was terribly, terribly awkward, and Tom was maybe more bewildered than the young husband. I apologized and tried to explain what had happened, but of course I was digging myself in deeper and deeper. I felt horrible. I learned a valuable lesson in communication that night.

Speaking of communication, I just want you to know that whatever happens or doesn't between us is fine. I can be your friend, someone to watch hot scenes with, or I can be your partner, making a hot scene happen with you. Even if we end up "only" watching, just think of all the energy and ideas we'll come away with from this party! I'll bet you've never seen a woman with a strap-on fucking a man in a suspended sling, have you? Or a beautiful woman tied over a spanking horse, getting a spanking while her tormentor lectures to the crowd about how to flog your lover properly. Oh! The wonderful things I've seen and discovered at these parties! I'll never forget the time I saw Tom surrounded by excited gay men. I had had to sort of pull him away from them earlier, as he and I were planning a scene and I was extremely horny and ready to go. But, afterwards, I brought him back upstairs to their cuddle puddle, and I backed off and watched as they caressed and fondled him until he melted and let his bi side take over. It was a beautiful thing to see, these men being so loving and caring with each other, and it was certainly a side of Tom I'd never seen before. I got so hot, I had to break out my little vibrator while I watched from across the room. Someday I'm going to have to find a similar group of beautiful women at one of these parties to lose myself in the same way.

See, sometimes you have to push a little past your own boundaries in order to find out what you want. That's why you're trying this whole sex party thing out in the first place, right? Just entering a sexually charged atmosphere is the first step in opening yourself up to a world of sexual possibilities. Allow yourself to experience the party as fully as you can. Maybe you'll just watch your first time. Maybe you'll find someone new to kiss for a little bit. Or maybe you and I will simply stick together and put on a hot little scene in the dungeon later on. Whatever you do, you'll be surrounding yourself with a sexual freedom and energy that few people ever get to experience in their lifetimes. And that alone is worth going for.

Well, that and your chance at me, of course.

Much love,